That is entirely correct about it being a mutual decision.  It's never easy for either party when there are big changes in a family dynamic.

I'm with you re: the white carb effects.  I miss Mac & Cheese sometimes, or a grilled cheese sandwich, but tried eating them once and the flavor was so totally different or the intake hurt, so it makes it so much easier to avoid them.  Alwways difficult to deal with but fortunately fresh fruit is terrific.

:)

My husband wasn't condescending, but he was terrified of me having surgery.  He was really scared that I was going to die.

Frankly, your husband's reaction may come from fear, too -- but unfortunately, it borders on being verbally abusive.  I am sorry that he spoke to you in such an unkind and unsupportive way.  It's up to you how to respond or not respond to being treated so disrespectfully.

I wish you resolution to your worries.

I understand how you feel.  My husband doesn't support me either. He thinks I can do it through diet n exercise only.  After fight over this for 7 years in going through with surgery.  I have one more week.  All I hear is how much is going to cost HIM for me to have fat ppl surgery.   How good all the food he is ready eating , since I'm on my liquid diet for 2 weeks.  I just let it go in one ear and out the other.  He doesn't want to talk about it or learn about it. 

Unless he changes his behavior towards you in the next few months - you would be getting rid off more than just fat...  Good luck. 

What HALA said before.  I read before there is increased divorced rates in people who have had gastric bypass. My mom claims it is because people get slim and desire to "upgrade."  I find her rationale utter B.S. I think people get divorced becase they had the strength to do something hard (WLS...see it and the diet thru...and get a good outcome) and after self-esteem improves they wonder why they are putting up with unsupportive and (maybe) mentally abusive spouses and have the strength to kick them to the curb.

Not saying that it will happen to you..but I have heard it DOES happen.

I think as we getting older - and once we are getting our "mojo" back (lets face it - the surgery and post op struggles are hard) the less we are willing to tolerate BS... and verbal abuse... 

I'm new here, but I just wanted to say that my first husband was very much like this. At 26 y/o I weighed about 320 lbs and was completely miserable. He would routinely go out with his friends while I stayed home watching the kids,  being depressed and hitting the pastries. One day I had had enough. I dieted and exercised my way to about 145 lbs. It took me a little more than a year of really hard work and I looked fabulous! Then he told everyone that would listen that I had used crystal meth to lose the weight! Even though he had been right there while I measured my food, got up an hour early to exercise every day and journaled everything. Well, that was that. 

After my marriage fell apart I had three kids to raise and I slowly started to gain weight. Not a lot at first, but then I met my second husband (who was a very big man) and because I was HAPPY I gained a lot of weight again. He LOVED to take care of me and was always supportive. Unfortunately he died just four years into the marriage because of complications from being obese. 

Cut to four years and lots of crying, depression and lots of failed diets later. I didn't think I could do it, but I just had RnY March 2nd and have lost 35 lbs. so far. I saw what being heavy did to my second husband, a most amazing man who deserved a good life. 
My point is, it's not about your husband and I know it's so hard, but you have to remember above all that it's about you! You're entitled to live a good life. You deserve to be happy in your skin. And contrary to what my first husband thought I was a much better wife to him when I was happy with myself.

Well said.  I too was in an abusive first marriage.  It led to depression and weight gain which only led to him picking on me more.  My second husband is so supportive, in fact he pushed me to have this surgery because he was afraid of losing me to weight related issues.  My daughter was and still is the debbie downer..if only I exercised more and ate less....you're having needless surgery and going to die.  Well I didn't die and I'm no longer pre-diabetic and my cholesterol is within normal limits after only 4 months.  She just rolled her eyes when I told her this.  Oh well, can't please everyone all the time.  Just do what makes you happy.  

My point is, it's not about your husband and I know it's so hard, but you have to remember above all that it's about you! You're entitled to live a good life. You deserve to be happy in your skin. And contrary to what my first husband thought I was a much better wife to him when I was happy with myself.

-I love this thought.  I am so glad you found a good spouse although God took him too soon. I often wonder why GOD takes the good ones and leaves so many devils behind.

Considering that I am still here, I must be among the devils!  :)