Unwanted Questions/Comments

Missmandy24
on 4/7/15 1:32 pm

I am less than two weeks out and I just went public with my surgery. I want to be open about it. But then I immidiatly regretted doing so because of all the comments and questions I got. :/ I hate unsolicited advice or harsh underhanded comments. 

Chilipepper
on 4/11/15 8:14 am

If someone is harsh or underhanded then why are they in your life anyway?  That sounds silly!

 

"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." --- Dorothy Parker  

"You may not like what I say or how I say it, but it may be just exactly what you need to hear." ---Kathryn White

 

 

Missmandy24
on 4/11/15 10:04 am

Cause unfortunatly you don't get to choose your family :/.

Chilipepper
on 4/11/15 11:17 am

I would tell them to @uck off.. I don't care who they are. 

 

"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." --- Dorothy Parker  

"You may not like what I say or how I say it, but it may be just exactly what you need to hear." ---Kathryn White

 

 

Berryhoosier
on 4/7/15 10:54 pm
RNY on 12/17/14

I understand your frustration.  I'm not that private, and I will tell just about anyone that I had surgery.  Most people are genuinely happy for me and not aware they are overstepping when they ask too much.  But after 3 1/2 months there are consistently 2 people who bother me.  One is a lady at church who likes to shout across the sanctuary, "How much have you lost?!?!?!"  But she's always been kind of rude.  lol.  I try to ignore her.  The other is my 93 year old grandmother who is a lovely person.  But when I visit her I feel like a heifer being appraised before auction.  She likes to evaluate every part of my body.  "Look how skinny your legs are."  "Your arms don't look bad at all."  "Now if you can just lose your tummy..."  She has no idea her words bother me and she's 93 and sweet.  So I just smile and nod.

  

 

ald731
on 4/7/15 11:04 pm
VSG on 04/07/14

I've never talked more about my weight/appearance than I have in the last year, so I definitely understand! I've been very open about my surgery, which I think has made it easier on me because people aren't speculating on how I've lost the weight. As time has gone on, I still get lots of comments about my appearance but less questions as it is less of a novelty. I do occasionally get surprised comments about me "still" losing weight from people I haven't seen in a while.  You've gotten some good advice about redirecting the comments, but I would just add that this is a season you kind of just have to deal with and eventually the questions/comments will become fewer and fewer.

April:  HW- 323, SW-310, CW-159 (as of 9/25/15), Goal- 140; Pre-op (-13), M1 (-17), M2 (-16), M3 (-14), M4 (-13), M5 (-12), M6 (-8), M7 (-12), M8 (-8), M9 (-8), M10 (-5), M11 (-7), M12 (-5), M13 (-7), M14 (-0), M15 (-1), M16 (-5), M17 (-5)

        

        

Wyldrose
on 4/11/15 3:50 am - Petaluma, CA

I am a little different. I welcome answering the questions, I can't stand the complments/comments. Its almost as if I have to defend the "old" me against all of the " you look great" and "you must feel so much better" etc... I wasn't all that bad when I was heavier. It makes me super uncomfortable. I am still looking for a polite way to handle that lol

Chilipepper
on 4/11/15 8:13 am

I got a second chance at life and I shout how happy I am from the rooftops. If my experience can help someone get a second chance I will answer anything I can. I wear my baggy clothes a a badge of courage. 

 

"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." --- Dorothy Parker  

"You may not like what I say or how I say it, but it may be just exactly what you need to hear." ---Kathryn White

 

 

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