I had gastric bypass January of 2013. Started at 280. My current weight is 170. I've fallen of the wagon and I'm devistated. It's no one's fault but my own. I started drinking soda, eating fast food, not taking vitamins etc. I just feel lossed. I look at old pictures and swear I'm not going back to that 280 pound self. However 20 minutes later I'm stuffing my face with horrible food choices. I drink about 24 ounces a day, snack, fried food carbs etc. I can't go back to who I was. My motivation is 0. I'm so depressed and I know, protein first,  limited carbs, 80+ ounces of fluids. It's so difficult.  I have taken laxitives after eating food to get it out of me. I know what to do but I need to find my drive again. I can't go back there. 

First of all, Laxatives do not negate calories.  You have already absorbed the calories by the time the laxative starts working.  If your weight goes down it is likely water weight that will come right back when you drink fluids.  Laxatives are a dangerous game to play.  You an become seriously dependent to them and you may screw up your system to the point where you may need laxatives just to go normally.  Tough love here.... KNOCK THAT SH*T OFF!  You are too important to treat yourself that badly.

Cut the simple carbs down to NOTHING for a week. No bread, pasta, crackers, chips, rice, cookies sugar, etc.  Eat only protein and veggies.  It will be absolute, white knuckle, hell for the first few days, but when you detox from the crappy foods you will no longer crave them and it will be easier to get back on track with the right mindset.  The more carbs you eat, the  more you want.  Your pouch still works.  If you eat dense protein you will see that you still have restriction.   We can eat a boat-load of simple carbs and feel no restriction, causing us to over eat.  It really is just like a drug addict rehab.  You have to get rid of the trigger foods and NEVER look back.  Some of us can not do certain foods in moderation.  I can't have cookies or ice cream in the house.  If I do, I know I will eat it until it's gone.

Drink at least 64 ounces of fluid per day.  NO SODA and don't drink with your meals.  Wait t least 30 minutes after eating to drink.  Drinking with your meals allows you to eat larger portions.  

Measure out what you are supposed to eat and then stop eating.  Obese people do not have a proper picture of what an a appropriate portion looks like.  The people who are successful with WLS measure their food... forever.  Eyeballing portion sizes allows portion sizes to creep up.  I don't trust myself to eyeball potion sizes.  I am 5 years out and still measure.  I eat about 1 cup to 1/1/2 cups of healthy food every 3 hours.  Anyone can wait 3 hours until they eat again.  Hunger is not an emergency.  Don't eat until you "feel full".  Many of us use that "full" sensation as emotional comfort.

Find a good support group or therapist.  There is a reason why you are sabotaging your weight loss.   Be painfully honest with yourself.  Keep coming here to read posts.  It really does help keep your head in the game.  You can do this!!!!

Great Advice!  So True...true-true-true! She has given you a free pass to get back to business! Being honest about ALL of will get you back on track. Her list is golden... take it! Only thing I could add..really. If you do not want to traditionally measure out your food, get little containers, 1, 2, 3 oz sizes for the portions you really need. Use tiny forks and tiny spoons, and even tiny plates and blows... found at the 99 cent stores. Remember this is for life... YOU are worth it!

It's time to make some appointments... Your Dr. & therapist would be on the top of the list if I were you... it's OK to say, "I thought I had this but I guess I don't, help me" Create your team... Dr, therapist, dietitian, support groups in person & here, family & friends to help. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help... Obesity is a chronic disease and requires chronic treatment... it's more than eating healthy foods and exercising... the head stuff must be addressed as well... they get this or at least they should if their degree is worth the paper its written on. 

I look at obesity like a war... I'm not gonna fight a war alone... I want a team, someone who has my back, snipers, special ops, medics, etc. Best to you!! and good for you for remembering what life was like before and using that as motivation to post today.

~Michelle "Shelly"

You say you have zero motivation but give yourself some credit. You do. You posted here asking for help. That's a step in the right direction. You have some great suggestions. Now it's up to you. Will it be easy? None of this is but so worth it. Weigh measure and follow your plan. Good luck.

I've been where you are.  I know how hard it is.  You have been given some good advice.  The only way to stop eating crap is to stop eating it.  Wi**** were easier.

The good news is that it does get easier.  Once you have it out of your system you will lose the cravings.  I wi**** was the other way around, that you lose the cravings and then stop eating it but unfortunately it doesn't work that way for most of us.

Drinking lots of water will help flush things out faster.  You may not feel like drinking that much but again, one of the ironies is that the more you drink the more you will want to drink.

Get whatever support you can.  You will need it.  Post on the daily menu thread daily.  That will help your accountability and help give you motivation and support.  When you can't find the motivation for yourself let others give you theirs.

The good news is you still have your tool.  If you are concerned about whether it is working right see your surgeon and he can order an EGD to make sure things are as they should be.

If they are, and they probably will be, you will have that extra help to get you through the rough times.

Hang in there.  I know you can do it.

I am not going to tell you that everything is all right because it is not.

However, "failure" is kind of an extreme term for the moment. You have lost 110 lbs. That isn't failure.  The problem is, you have stopped running in the middle of YOUR race/journey.

You got to motivate yourself. I dont know how or what to say to make you want to do that?  Do you have kids and family that is counting on you?  If you die from a stroke cuz you got MO again, or worse become a burden on them, how will you be there for them?

"However 20 minutes later I'm stuffing my face with horrible food choices."

The above statement scares the **** out of me.  IMO (and I aint a shrink), it appears that you have some sort of cognitative dissounce (i.e. the reality of your choices isn't the same as what you want in your heart; or that it really hasn't hit you that bad food choices have immediate and severe consequences).  You could have a food addiction and be "stuffing your emotions."  

I say the second and I am not pointing the finger at you. As a matter of fact, I struggle with food addiction too. Currently it is EOQ.  There is freaking cheez-its in the vending machine. I am fighting the urge to self-sooth with cheez-its. Cheez-its will not fix my low quota..and make me even MORE pressed for time because then i have to go to the gym and try to make my sin less worse.

These facts, however, do not change my intense desire for cheez-its and one just has to white knuckle oneself thru it or distract oneself.

I have the power. You have the power. Make the right choice and follow through.

Do it moment by moment, step by step, day by day, week by week.

But trust me on the value of a good counselor.  

Losing 110 lbs. is something to be proud of.  First, stop the laxatives.  Just not good for you and they won't stop your weight gain.  Get all the junk food out of the house.  Go back to basics.  Think about what you did right after surgery.  You've gotten excellent advice from others so I won't repeat what they said.

You can do this. Join Kathy's Back on Track.  She has some great advice.

I will say get all of the crap out of your house. Get to the grocery store and pick healthy choices. I also think getting a therapist is a good idea. 

I would look at why you areu eating. Did something happen? Were you happy,sad,? 

Life is not always easy. Sometimes you get thrown a curve ball that knocks you down. You have to keep telling yourself that you can do this and you will be ok. 

I found myself mindless eating a small candy bar the other night. I hid and ate it. I was ashamed that I did it. I know it was stress. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and she starts her treatment. I know that I was stressed and I ate. Does it make it ok nope. 

If it was planned it would have been ok. I was angry and sad. I saw the candy in the fridge and ate it really fast. 

I am on meds for anxiety and depression. 

Also taking laxatives is a really bad thing to start doing. It can become a really bad habit. 

Also take your vitamins. You need to look forward on your life and not back. One of the vets said before you eat drink 16oz of water. I will say that does help me get in my water. 

You deserve to be healthy and happy.