Codependency does not mean you are an addict.  It is about relationships with others... this could be for validation, self worth, money, living situations, etc.  You could be the enabler or the receiver.

So basically he passed you for surgery, but is warning you of issues you may face and suggested counseling.  MANY people have unresolved issues after WLS and get messed up in the head.  Having the counseling would be beneficial and I suggest you follow the doctors recommendation.

Here is a defenition and description - good info:

Codependency or Codependence describes a pattern of detrimental behavioral interactions within a dysfunctional relationship, most commonly a relationship with an alcohol or drug abuser.^[1] In general, the codependent is understood to be a person who perpetuates the addiction or pathological condition of someone close to them in a way that hampers recovery. This can be done through direct control over the dependent, by making excuses for their dysfunctional behavior, or by blunting negative consequences. These actions are described as enabling.

Codependence is not listed in the DSM IV, and critics have suggested that codependency as commonly defined is not a mental disorder.^[2] Others describe codependency as a psychological disease.^[3]

Contents [hide] 1 Symptoms 2 Treatment 3 Controversies 4 See also 5 References 6 Further reading 7 External links

[edit] Symptoms

Symptoms of codependence may include controlling behavior, distrust, perfectionism, avoidance of feelings, problems with intimacy, excessive caretaking, hypervigilance, or physical illness related to stress. Codependence is often accompanied by clinical depression, as the codependent person succumbs to feelings of frustration or sadness over their inability to improve their situation.

• tendency to place the needs and wants of others first and to the exclusion of acknowledging one's own
• continued investment of self-esteem in the ability to control both oneself and others
• anxiety and boundary distortions relating to intimacy and separation
• difficulty expressing feelings
• excessive worry how others may respond to one's feelings
• undue fear of being hurt and/or rejected by others
• self-esteem dependent on approval by others
• tendency to ignore own values and attempt to adhere to the values of others

[edit] Treatment

Individuals who are suffering from codependence may seek assistance through various therapies, sometimes accompanied by chemical therapy for accompanying depression.

In addition, there exist support groups for codependency, such as Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) and Al-Anon/Alateen, Celebrate Recovery, Nar-Anon, and Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACoA), which are based on the twelve-step program model of Alcoholics Anonymous. Although the term codependency originated outside of twelve-step groups, it is now a common concept in many of them.^[4]

Many books have been written on the subject of codependence. Pia Melody (Facing Co-dependence) and Shirley Smith (Set yourself Free) Melody Beattie was one of the first to describe such behaviors. She is the author of Codependent No More among many other volumes.

[edit] Controversies

• Caring for an individual with a physical addiction is not necessarily synonymous with pathology. To name the caregiver as a co-alcoholic responsible for the endurance of their partner's alcoholism for example, pathologizes caring behaviour. The caregiver may only require assertiveness training skills and the addict accountability in taking responsibility for managing their addiction, or not^[5][6].
• Not all mental health professionals agree about codependence or its standard methods of treatment ^[7]. It is not listed in the DSM-IV-TR diagnostic manual. Stan Katz & Liu, in "The Codependency Conspiracy: How to Break the Recovery Habit and Take Charge of Your Life," feel that codependence is over-diagnosed, and that many people who could be helped with shorter-term treatments instead become dependent on long-term self-help programs.
• Some believe that codependency is not a negative trait, and does not need to be treated, as it is more likely a healthy personality trait taken to excess. Codependency in nonclinical populations has some links with favorable characteristics of family functioning ^[8].
• The language of symptoms of and treatment for codependence derive from the medical model suggesting a disease process underlies the behaviour. There is no evidence that codependence is caused by a disease process, communicable or otherwise.
• Some frequent users of the concept codependency use the word as an alternative to use the concept dysfunctional families, without statements that classify it is a disease.^[9]
• Not everything promoted by recovery agencies is a demonstrable scientific fact, some of it is based on fashion and faith alone ^[10][11].
• People who have experienced natural disasters, life threatening illness or accident, and personal and community tragedy have been found to perceive a benefit from the ordeal such as positive personality changes, changes in priorities and enhanced family relationships ^[12]. Caring for survivors serves a worthwhile ethic of empowerment - both for the caregiver and the survivors.

I didn't have anything similiar happen, but I think it's good that you are proceeding with the counseling.  We all need to remember that WLS doesn't help our heads at all -- that's what I'm finding the most challenging.

Hi...
I went to a meeting last night (informational) at Miriam Hospital with Dr. Vithiananthan.

Has anyone had any experience with the lap band surgery there and if so.. can you tell me how it went?

I'm really nervous- but I'm at my end of the rope of life.... the pains I experience are a sure sign of "DO SOMETHING LADY or you are going to DIE"

Self-talk and Exercise
When you work out, what messages are running through your head? How you think about exercise greatly influences how you feel about it -- and how likely you are to stick with it. If your self-talk during exercise is all negative, your experience with exercise will be negative, too.

Do any of the following thoughts sound familiar?

I don't like exercise.
I'm not a natural athlete.
I'll never get better at this.
Everyone is looking at me.
I missed a workout, so I may as well give up.
I'm too tired for this.
I'm never going to reach my goal.
If I exercise, I'll feel exhausted afterward.
If any of these -- or any other -- negative messages come to mind during your workouts, try replacing them with the following:

I will keep trying until I find an activity I enjoy.
My body is made to move.
I will gain skill over time.
Others can think what they like -- I won't let it stop me.
I may have missed a workout, but I can get back on track today.
I'm tired, but I'll aim for just 10 minutes of exercise and then see how I feel.
I can and will reach my goal.
After I exercise, I really feel good about myself.
This week, pay attention to the thoughts you're having during exercise and focus on replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. Doing so will make your workouts more productive and enjoyable.

Jenn,

I wish you the best of luck tomorrow.  I will be thinking of you.  It will be over before you know it and your new journey will begin.  If there is anything you need, please do not hesitate to call.  I will check in with you tomorrow night!!

Love Jody