I'M A FAILURE

Hello everyone, Well I am approaching my one year anniversary. I have only lost 80 lbs. Seems I can only lose when I have under 20 carbs. That is so hard to live by now. Before was easy. I didn't eat much anyway. But now that I can eat more, and graze, it is much harder to keep them under 20. I bought the book South Beach Diet. Hopefully that will help. I am again on a plateau. Now for even more bad news. I developed a blurry spot in my left eye. I went to the docs and he checked both eyes. Long story short, I have diabetes in both eyes. I thought I would be healthy when I had this surgery. But it seems that things are getting worse. I break my ribs, back, and now diabetes in my eyes. So I am a failure at losing and I am going to have to battle losing my sight. I may be 80 lbs lighter, but I could have done that without surgery. I re-routed for nothing. My diabetes may be gone in my body but the damage is there. I feel like giving up. Joanne

I can't believe you feel your a failure. I can remember looking at your profile last year, and how happy you were. I think 80lbs is wonderful and just because your at a plateau, it doesn't mean you have stopped losing weight, you probley just need a boost weather its a change in exercise or a different diet. you look wonderful, just don't give up, go to a support group meeting or contact a friend, just don't give up. I am going for my surgery on FEB 9, I was suppose to have it in April, but my company closed and I lost my insurance. I look foward to my weight lose, even if it is only 80lbs. I hope to talk with you in the future. Penny

I wish I had a friend who understood this. And support group meetings are only once a month. I do feel very alone in this. That is why I posted this. I was happy then but now that I am almost a year out and only lost 80 lbs, I feel like I should have lost much more. Not to mention that I constantly read how people lose so easily in the first year and I had to struggle for every pound. This is why I never stuck to a diet. it was the constant struggling. It became too challenging in the past and I am feeling it creep up on me the same way. I used to think, if I lose x-amount of lbs I'd be happy but you know the saying..I had a dream. My dream is not coming true. That is crushing in itself. Does this make any sense??? Sometimes I wonder if my own thoughts on this make sense at all. joanne

Joanne! I am so sorry that you're going through all of this! I do have to tell you that I looked at your post and at first, I didn't know who you were by looking at your picture. But, I recognized your screen name (danluvsme 2)! For the life of me, I couldn't figure out who that BEAUTIFUL woman was in your profile! Thats YOU! You're 5'11 and you are under 200 lbs. You have LOST 80 pounds! Your hair is shiny and full and it looks gorgeous! You have blossomed! Please don't let this diagnosis consume your life. You need to feel good about the things you have accomplished! Unfortunately, there are things in our lives that we cannot control. Now is the time where I wish I had more power to get this group going in south county. Here's what my problem is....If I go through OH then I have to wait for someone to fly out here to train me. But, if I do something on my own...I don't know if I'm stepping on others toes! I've been doing some research though. I called the library in south kingstown and asked them if I could use their conference room. I've used it before for meetings with my clients so I know it's sufficient space. They said as long as there was an opening, they would let me reserve a night. So.....why not try it out? It's for days like this that I really think we need to be together to support each other. I'm here for you and so is everyone else on the board. Please hang in there Joanne... Take care Megan B

My hair looks so good cause I bought it Hollywood hair extension at RI Hair Extensions in Wrwick. MY hair is thin and unhealthy right now. It is growing back in but it is so fine that it breaks easily. I have tried protein, water, gelatin (docs suggestion), vitamins. Nothing is working. Anyhow, I cannot wait until the support group starts, if it does. With my luck, it will start before March and on a night that I am in school. That is the reason why I can't go to Dr. Pohl's support meetings. Keep me updated on things and if you need help with anything, let me know. Joanne

Hi Joanne~ Do you exercise? I know that you had broken your back, but is it healed enough for you to exercise yet? I truly believe that I would not have lost as much as I have if I had not exercised. I go to Curves three times a week and work out for an hour instead of the recommended half hour. If you are able to work out and have a Curves near you, I recommend it. It was really hard at first, but I just feel so strong now and don't dread it anymore. I also am so much more physically active on the weekends now than I ever was, I have almost completely changed my lifestyle. I do sometimes eat too much or the wrong thing, but I never waver in my exercise routine. I don't know if this helps you or not, but I wanted you to know that it has been a struggle for me too, you're not alone. You say that you could have lost 80lbs on your own without the surgery, but would you have been able to sustain that weight loss without the surgery? I forget her name, but one of the girls on the RI board is trying to start up a meeting in the South County area. I for one, would love to attend a meeting once a week, so I'm hoping she will start one up soon. There are also meetings at the Westerly Hospital the first Tuesday of every month, maybe you can call there and find out what time. It's closer than Providence. Don't give up, you really have changed tremendously from a year ago. Good luck! Leila

I just bought the DVD "Walk Away the Pounds". I am a hybernator in the winter. I eat, don't move, sleep all the time. I have always been like this. But come spring, that is when I go outside and do things like gardening. For us, that consists of hauling, cutting down trees, pulling out the chainsaws, shoveling, digging, planting, etc. So I get active then. Nor sure how much of that I can do though. But in winter, all I want to do is sleep and eat. I am going to try the DVD. See if that helps and if I can do it. I just got the 1 and 2 mile DVD. it isn't much but it is more than I am dong right now. Joanne

Hi Joanne, Iam almost a year out too. I went about 3 months without loosing any weight. I saw Dr. Pohl right before Christmas and he suggested I do a liquid diet for a couple of weeks. I waited until after Christmas. Last week I did a liquid diet Mon-Fri because it is easier to do when I am not at home wanting to "pick" at everything. Then over the weekend I jus****ched what I ate. I go to the Y about 3 times a week. I finally lost 5 pounds! I go to TOPS tonight to get weighed again, I think I lost another 1 or 2. So...what I am saying is try the liquid diet to kick-start yourself. Best of luck!! Lisa

Honestly Lisa, I don't think I can do the liquid diet. I have been into grazing and I would literally go nuts if I couldn't eat. I tried it for one day and was like an addict coming off a high. Joanne

No, no , no please don't give up. Everything will work out for the best. I just think you are in a slump right now and when you feel up to it you will be on the right track again. I am sure there is something they can do to fix the problem with your eyes. There is a wonderful doctor, Peter DiBlasio , MD in Prov who is the best !! I kind of know what you are going through right now as I just found out I have a brain anerysum . I had a test done because of dizziness and I had to go to Darthmouth Hitch**** for a CTA . The doctor suggested I don't have surgery right now because of it's size (too risky a operation) so they will check it every six months to see if it has gotten any larger and if it does , operation. Its difficult thinking about this thing in my head but I keep busy all day and try not to think about it. I have learned to take one day at a time. You are not a failure and your spirit will be enlighted and everything will be easier to handle. Nancy