Dealing with weight issues in children

Hi! I am wondering how those of you out there with children deal with weight issues with them. I have 2 daughters, one is 7 and one is 5. My oldest is in the 95 percentile for her weight and she is getting a visable "belly" on her. How to handle this is driving me crazy. I was a year older than her when I developed my "belly" and have never got rid of it. I want to help her be healthier and not become overweight, yet not damage her fragile self esteem by making her feel there is something wrong with her. She is a very emotional child. She has been in therapy already and she is only 7, due to anxiety issues. So far what I am doing is not working. I try to make healthy foods, usually very low in carbs and fat due to my own needs and I encourage exercise. But she is a very picky eater and a huge carb lover. Meals can become miserable because she'll refuse to eat stuff she deems "gross". Realistically I only control a small portion of the food she eats. She doesn't like breakfast, I usually try to get her to at least take an apple for the bus ride but who knows if she eats it. No matter what I pack for school lunches or snacks I find out she usually trades stuff with other kids. On the weekends she spends time with her grandmother and great grandmother who think she is fine and let her eat whatever she wants (usually bread and butter, mac and cheese, pasta with butter). They do encourage healthy choices too but will give in to her desires. When the weather was warmer I just tried to have her play outside more and we went on walks together. But now the weather is cold and I argue with her all the time to just move around and stop snacking all day. Arg!! I don't want to have food issues with my kids but more and more I feel like I am with her. I've spoken with her doctor, who said to have her exercise more and follow the food group guidelines. Easier said then done! The doctor even told my daughter this stuff, but it went in one ear and out the other. I don't know, maybe I am just hyper sensitive to being overweight that I am making more of this than I should. I just freaked out because I went to give her children's tylenol and I was checking the dosing chart and her weight falls in the 9-11 year old range and she is 7! Any words of wisdom? Anyone else have similar problems with their kids? I could use some insight on this situation. Thanks! Sorry for the novel! Megan

Hi Megan, I am having the same issues with my 9 year old son. He has been on the heavy side since he was 5. I also try to encourage healthy choices and exercise. Recently I have noticed he has been sneaking food. I talk to him about it and he gets so sad and says he knows he shouldn't be eating extra snacks but he "can't help it". Anyway, a couple of months ago I made an appointment at the Attleboro YMCA to talk to the director to see what he recommends for exercise in the winter. They have this great class for younger children called Cardio Kids. They get to learn about diet and exercise while having fun. They get to use the cardio equipment and learn the proper ways to exercise. The class hasn't started yet but already my son is very excited about it. For now we have been going to a lot of family swim sessions at the Y and my husband takes my son to the gym to shoot hoops and run around. I know how hard it is to see your child go through this...my son already has self-esteem issues and I don't want his size to hinder his social life. It doesn't help that my hubby is 6'9''. My son looks like a 12 year old at age 9!! OK, Iam rambling...good luck Megan..keep in touch! Lisa

Hi Megan... It's the other Megan! I have a 16 year old daughter and I thank God every day that she's more like her father than me! She doesn't have a weight issue (yet) but she does have the typical "lazy teenager" lifestyle. My daughter has been in therapy too as well as me. I have learned (especially when I became a single parent) that my role as a mother is to teach my child. Now, you can't "make" your children listen, but it doesn't mean you should stop teaching them. This is good that your daughters are still young. I started giving my daughter choices when she was about 7 years old. I didn't ask her if she wanted to go for a walk, I gave her an option to either go for a walk with mom or help mom rake the leaves. Either way.....in my mind, she was going to do at least a 1/2 hour of activity that involved being outside. What ends up happening is that your daughter will get use to being active and before you know it, it's become a daily habit for her which we all know is healthy! Talking about "diets" and "excercise" for some reason makes people feel uncomfortable. But, if you teach your girls that this is the way you are living your life now, then they will learn that. I know it's difficult when you start to notice certain behaviors within your family that lead to weight problems but you have to give yourself credit for doing what you did by having WLS. You have made a commitment to yourself to make changes in your life. Now it's time to share it with your loved ones! I think it's healthy that you're concerned about your daughters. You're doing a great job! I hope my input was helpful and I wish you luck! Take care The "other Megan B"