Can't Believe I Did That!

Good Morning, I had to present a paper at my Sociology class last night. I chose as my subject Why Obesity Should Be Treated as an Illness by Health Insurers. In the paper, I talked a bit about WLS. I didn't intend to, but about halfway through my presentation, I told the group that I was in the process of seeking approval for gastric bypass. This is a group of 15-20 women who all work in my office, but who I really don't know (we're a very large company). As soon as I said it, I was committed and really talked about it at length, but I'm still in shock that I told them! The reaction was pretty positive, and a couple of them e-mailed me today with stories of relatives and friends who've had the surgery. I feel really great that I was able to do that, since I know how some people react. I expect that some left the class thinking that I'm taking the "easy way out", but my family and close friends support me 100%, so I guess that's way it fell out the way it did! Does anyone out there tell relative strangers what you've done/plan to do? How do you handle their reactions? Thanks! Jackie

Hi Jackie, So far at work I told my co-worker (shes 98 lbs and 5' tall) and she thinks I can do it on my own. I told my boss (shes heavy like me and is quite interested to see what happens after my surgery). I told a guy I work with who had surgery with Dr Pohl and he's all for it and very supportive. My sister, boyfriend and mom are supportive of me and also scared for me. So far only ONE person has actually been happy for me and wished they were doing it too. Sorta sad. I wish more people would be happier for us.

Lately I've been hearing of people saying WLS is the "easy way out" and I don't get it and frankly, I don't care. We don't have to defend our decision to do this to anyone. People's opinions of us are important, but when you finally get to the point of having the surgery, what someone thinks about it is the last thing we should care about. It's not easy...I am 6 months post op and it's not a 'given" that any of us are going to lose all that we wish or that it will stay off, it's still diet and excercise for life. And besides, even if was so, what's so bad about having something come "easy" once in a while??????

Elaine, You're absolutely right. The only opinion I care about now is my doctor's. How has your post-op been? What type of surgery did you have? Thanks. Jackie

I had laprascopic gastric bypass last Oct. I am a bit of slow loser, and I was on a plateau for about 6 wks, but I'm losing again now. Total lost so far is 75 lbs and I'd like to take off another 50. I was slacking on the excersise, I wasnt' drinking enough water and truth be told, I know I was making bad eating choices but that's all behind me now. As Dr. Phil says you have to "get real"...I think it's kind of a denial that I was going through. I am not complaining, I am thrilled with my loss and I never get tired of being called "skinny" . The post-op wasn't bad. The first few days were rough but you get past it. It's major surgery and you are sore and it's hard to walk, take a shower etc. But it's short lived and you move on. When do you think you might have your surgery?

If all goes smoothly (getting approval on the first try, and getting the testing done), I could be in around September. I expect the doctor to look at my chart tomorrow and give his approval, then his secretary will fax it to my insurer. She says she generally gets approval within 48 hours of submission, so I may know by the end of this week. I told her that, once she has approval, she can set up whatever appointments I need, then call me and tell me when and where; no need to check with me for 'good' days/times - I'll be there! How did you handle your plateau?

I find this an interesting post because I've been dealing with this myself. Lately, I've had a number of "strangers" just come up to me and say how great I look since I've lost 96 lbs. Then the next question is "how did you do it, Weigh****chers, Atkin's?" Then I say, "I had surgery." What reaction do you think I get a lot? "Ohhhh...., I see." It's actually quite annoying because this has been happening a lot lately.

People don't mean to be thoughtless. One of the questions I hate is "how much have you lost?"...if you say like 75 lbs you get this astonished look like "WOW, what a cow you must have been!!"...it's just weird. Or "You look fantastic"...which I know is a compliment but I want to say "Did I look THAT horrible before?" Oh well, we are sensitive people, that's one of the reasons we over eat !!

I'm embarrassed to admit that, before I took the time to educate myself about surgery (for which I think my PCP!), I might have reacted the same way. I've found that people rarely 'understand' what they don't know. It's up to us (as much as we see fit) to educate others. Beyond that, everyone eventually does what they need to do, to get to where they want to be. I've become very comfortable with my choice, though I'm sure there'll be challenges later with peoples' reactions. Thanks for your insight!

Hey Jackie, I am 6 weeks post op and am still struggling with who I should tell and who I shouldnt. I am down 45lbs and I know that people are going to start asking questions. The way I see it is the people who are the most important to me in my life knew about it before I had the surgery. Whether they were supportive or not is irrelevent at this point. They've seen me come out the other side and start becoming a "loser" and are now ALL supporters. Although a lot of people think this is the "easy way" out, it is far from it. So I have been telling the people who I dont feel need to know that its been just a lot of hard work and determination. Its not a lie thats for sure! Its difficult to retrain your mind to think that you absolutly cannot eat more than a few bites. Its difficult to cook for your family and yourself while your in the liquid stage of your post op. Its difficult to force yourself to exercise as much as possible during the course of the day or week, however we do it. And we do it because we no longer want to be the happy fat person, or the person with the pretty face, or the person who wont go out for fear of ridicule. If you ask me, the work we do for ourselves post op is hard and takes determination! So for those people who just dont need to know, just dont tell them. Its not a lie, its truly far from it. Melissa Marshall Burrillville RI