I don't understand people sometimes!

I know that I have vented about this before, but one thing I was not prepared for having WLS is that people will ask me very personal questions.  Anyone who is a friend or family member pretty much knows that I had lap band done, but I don't necessarily want to blurt it out to everyone everywhere.  I work in a very public place and have been surprised on many occasions how many people will ask me how I lost the weight.  I truly understand that question, because we all were looking for the magic formula that would work!  That does not necessarily mean that I want to answer it honestly in front of a lot of people.  I finally came up with my stock answer, which is, "It's all about the calories and exercise."  I am venting today because soneone really took the cake...I passed someone on the stairs today on my way to get a cup of coffee.  We said hello and kept going in opposite directions.  When we were about a flight apart, she leaned over the railing and blurted out, "How much do you weigh now?"  When I surprisedly asked "WHAT?", she repeated, "What is your weight down to, what do you weigh now?"  My husband doesn't even know what I weigh!  Am I being over-sensitive about this? 

I, personally, don't think you are being too sensitive about this. I choose to share only what I want, when I want, with whomever I want. It's no one's business except mine.

I don't mind sharing how much weight I've lost with ANYone but I don't tell EVERYone about my weightloss tool.

I will not be shy to tell someone that I won't share certain information with them.

When someone asks me how I lost the weight (and I don't want to tell them about my tool or don't have time to share with them), I tell them....."I eat less, exercise more & watch my calorie intake" period.

However, as time goes on, I share my WLS secret with more and more people because I would love to help someone who may be considering it for themselves.

There are so many myths about WLS out there. It would be nice to hear someone say "I knew this woman who had WLS and is a success!" Instead of "I knew this woman who had WLS and gained all her weight back...or...who died...or...who had complications...or....___(fill in the blank)_____".

I hope this helps!

Have a great weekend Jayne!

Jules

Thanks Jules.  That helped a lot, and is EXACTLY how I feel.  I have spoken to many, many people about my WLS; especially people who were exploring options for themselves.  I really was venting when I wrote that because it had just happened, I'm much better now.  I just don't understand the mentality of asking people very personal and pointed questions like that.  I would never do that!  At least I don't think I would!  I really understand people asking "How did you do it?" because people are genuinely interested in what works, but I can't imagine under any cir****tances asking someone what they weigh.  This person is not overweight, just curious.  I'm sure if I told her she would have had a conversation about it with someone else, and for all the wrong reasons.  It was just for the sake of gossip, and I think that's what upset me most.  Thank you for letting me vent.  I was much better this time, I didn't tell her my weight.  Usually when I'm caught off guard I blurt out the answer and then regret it.  Maybe the next time I see her I will say, "Those are really nice pants, what size are they?"  Or maybe, "How much did you pay for them?"   

 If you don't want people to know just tell them you did it through diet and exercise.  It's no one's business but yours.   
I personally tell everyone. lol  I work in a hospital and I tell patients, other staff.  lol 

Wow !  You had WLS???  Just kidding.  Its amazing how people can be so forward.  I think tv may have alot to do with that too.  You have all these talk shows where people are asked some very personal questions that they just easily answer as if you had asked them what laundry detergent they use.  But in the real world, people still like some privacy.  I will say I had WLS alot, but only if I am comfortable saying so to that person.  In fact, usually if it is someone overweight, I am more likely to be honest with them.  But if not,  your answer about it being "all about the calories and the exercise" is the perfect answer.  I think I will use that myself.  No need to lower yourself to their level and ask an embarrassing question back.  They most likely won't get it. My favorite saying is "you can't fix stupid".  Congratulations on your success, by the way.  And it took alot of courage and stamina to go thru the phases of WLS and live the rest of your life this way.  Be proud, my friend, you have every reason to be.

Eldy

I soo know how you feel!! "How much have you lost?"" is the question I seem to be getting these days. There is an exercise obsessed queen at the gym asking"How much...dont you feel soo much better??? you look amazing..."
Now I say thank you and try to cut the conversations short. I literally had to tell the exercise queen that she was embarassing me and that I lost a "good amount" of weight without telling her exactly how much.

I like the compliments, yet people ask stupid questions and don't think. "Keep it up" is the thing that drives me crazy!!! Just stop talking and say a nice thing and leave it at that. "Keep it up" has a negative connotation like "you will not keep it up". It is a stupid thing to say and sometimes I call people out in it.

One neighbor said to me"I can tell you have lost weight, its like you should have done it 10 years ago" WHat I nice compliment, huh??? People say such STUPID things!!!

Yet, others just say "you look great!"

Just laugh about it and sometime call them out when they say something stupid. Then they will be the embarassed one!!

Oh and by the way, if it someomen I dont care to tell about my tool, I say that "I am taking better care of myself," which is the truth, isn't it???

Thank you everyone for your comments.  I agree that for the most part people have been great.  I have told a lot of people about my WLS, especially others who may be interested.  The majority of people have been wonderful and positive, it's just those occasional people who are rude that get me so mad.  I know that it is because I don't like being put in the position of coming up with an "appropriate" answer.  I have told many people that I didn't want to discuss WLS with that it is all about calories and exercise, but most people I have told them how I was able to control the calories and the weight loss has made it so much easier and enjoyable for me to exercise.  I agre with you, Mrs. Rhody..."Keep it up" bugs me.  "How much more do you want to lose." bugs me, "Don't lose any more!" bugs me.  "How much have you lost?" all depends on who it is coming from and the reason behind it!  I do have vague answers for all of those questions now, but in the beginning I just wasn't prepared for people being so forward.  I think being put on the spot like that is what gets me so mad, I don't like to lie, but I don't want to share some things.  Thanks for hearing me out on this one!

OK NOW THAT I JUST DELETED WHAT I WROTE HERE I GO AGAIN>

I had the same thing a few months ago happen to me at work.  This was not a close friend who ask me or was it a family member. I am very open with my wieght loss but, for someone I am not close too I don't feel the need to open up on how much I loss or what is my weight.  I mean really even people who have not had this surgery do you hear them Yelling I WEIGHT bla bla bla .  Nope.......

My  reply to this girl was:

  I am sure you Mother and Father tought you never to ask a women her weight!  Just know that I am losing weight and living a Healthy and Happy Live.  I thank you so much for asking. 

Then I walked away.  I think she still picking up her jaw.  Mind you I did this with a smile on my face the whole time. 

I don't think your being Sensitive at all.  Your  aciting normal like most women will  act about  how much is there weight?   Feel no shame in telling who and when and where you want about anything about yourself. 

Hugs
Lisa

Hey, I tell people , how much do you weight ???? they shut up !