Regretting surgery.

One thing is for sure.  I'm a wimp.  I'm still on pain meds.  I just spent the entire day at RWH Emergency Room.  A place I wouldn't send my worst enemy.  Last night  I was at my son's graduation.  A woman knocked down my 1-year old daughter.  Out of instinct, I picked her up.  I immediately knew I made a big mistake.  I had the most excruciating pain, worse than labor pains and starting vomiting.  I spent the night at home in agony and finally went to the ER this morning.  They did a cat scan with contrast and said my digestive system looked fine but I had a tear in my abdominal wall and it was bleeding.  It's not just last night's incident.  I've been really depressed since I got home from the hospital.  I've been crying a lot  for no reason.  Everyone talks about how great they feel, I don't.  I have gotten in 60 grams of protein and 64 oz. of water every day.  I have taken 2 short walks a day.  I still feel lousy and my husband has to go back to work Monday.  Please, if any of you experienced this feeling of regret after surgery, please share your story with me. 

I think most of us have that "OMG what have I done, I shouldn't have done this" feeling shortly after surgery especially when we aren't feeling good yet.

Take your pain meds and follow the docs instructions carefully.  It will get better and you'll soon be feeling terrific and wonder why you ever questioned your decision.  Just think of how you'll feel when you see that weight start to drop off.

I don't think there's a mother out here that wouldn't have done the same thing and picked up their kid.  I'm glad you went to the ER to get checked out.  Take it easy and rest so you can heal.

Thanks, I will try to rest as much as possible today and tomorrow, but on Monday, I'm on my own. I can't wait to feel good again and feel positive about this surgery!

Marcia ~ Hello.  Think what you're experiencing is totally within the norm....some refer to it as "buyer's remorse."  After surgery our body and mind's are exhausted, impacting our level of coping skills.  On top of the exhaustion, you're dealing with an additional mishap and pain.
I had some times during my recovery days when I too cried, got frustrated with myself and those around me.  My thoughts were similar to yours....why did I let someone rearrange my insides, how did I let myself get to this point, why couldn't I just diet, etc.  
Know this won't be easy....but try to extend the same level of compassion to yourself as you would to others in this same state.  Please give yourself credit for all the good you're doing with intake and exercise.  Remember we all heal at different rates and be assured you too will get there.  All of sudden there will be a day when this feeling crappy stage will be behind you and you'll be feeling all the benefits of being on the road to getting healthy.
~ Sandy

Thank you for your kind words Sandy.  It's nice to hear that others have felt the same way I do.  It's reading posts like yours that get me through tough times, I really appreciate it.  Marcia

Hi Marcia!  You are certainly NOT alone with this feeling.  I was in pain for at least a month.  I saw people saying that they were walking a couple of miles and feeling great.  I was barely getting up and down the street.  I had to sleep in the recliner for 5 weeks because I could not lay on my sides.  I took vicodin for all that time.  And yeah, I wondered what the hell i did to myself.  But you know what?  It DOES GET BETTER!! WOOHOO!  When the pain starts to go away ( you DID have MAJOR surgery), you start to get some energy.  Then you find you can walk further than you did before surgery.  Then the weight starts to come off ( I however was stuck on one weight for 3 weeks and then it started to really come off).  Then you will see changes in your face.  Then if you are on medications, they start to get decreased.  And then you will find yourself saying "WHY DID I WAIT SO LONG?" I do know how you feel.  And I am so glad I did this now.  I do feel soooo much better.  Everyday will be a learning experience... how to eat, when to eat, when to drink, etc.  Its going to be an adventurous ride!  Good luck, keep that chin up!  Check my profile too if you'd like.  But don't give up.   Your friend,  Eldy

Thanks Eldy, you are so sweet.  It's nice to hear I'm not the only one that felt this way. 

 I know I didnt feel great right after surgery.  Took a couple of weeks to get back to myself.  I remember throwing a dish accross the room.  I remember asking myself what have I done? Why did I do this.  I think these question stopped being asked for me about 4 months out.  Then I would say I should have done this years ago.  I am not 14 months out and I am so happy.  For me , I am glad I went though the pain to get where I am now.   

Keep taking the medication . Keep walking. Keep drinking.  Do everything the doctor's tell you to do.  It will get better.  I know now it seem like a joke to hear but, this is the place to hear people say this It will get better.  We have all been there.  I am proud that you can come here and speak of not only the good things that happen with this surgery but the bad.  It is not all peaches and cream but, it is hard work.  Hard work never killed anyone.  This is not an easy journey but, the end of the road of the journey is great health.   I love my journey and soon you will too.  Keep up the great work. Take it one day at a time. I hope your daughter is ok from her fall. Shame on the lady who knocked her over. 

Lisa

Thanks Lisa for your words of encouragement.  I was very miserable for the first 9 days post op.  Then I don't know what changed, but I woke up yesterday (Monday) and felt so much better.  Today is even better.  It's so hard to think with a clear head when you're in pain and shut away from the world for days.  Thank God for all of you here on OH who brought me through this!  Marcia

Hey Marcia,

I'm sorry to hear you're going through this.

It's very normal to feel depression after having ANY major surgery. Having this surgery and not being able to rely on our old friend 'food' for comfort can certainly make these bad feelings seem worse.

But, I promise, you WILL get through this and you will NOT regret having the surgery.

Call me if you want some company to share your whoas!

Love ya!

Jules