My surgery experience
Hey everyone, it's Chip, Lisa's husband. Well it's been 1 week since my surgery and I feel well enough to give you all the juicy details of my experience. I woke up last Friday morning feeling a little anxious. The hospital had told me to arrive at 9:30. Our phone rings at 7:45. It's the hospital. "Can you get here as soon as you can?" I told the lady I wasn't even wearing underwear and she wants me there ASAP? Great. I showered, shaved and was dressed in 10 minutes. TRUST me...that's a personal best. I get to Roger Williams and they get me all prepped. Then they sedated me. I don't know who the hell invented THAT stuff but they should get the Nobel prize. According to Lisa I began singing "Delilah" by Tom Jones quite loudly on the way to the O.R. A good laugh was had by all, including my mother. My father just stood there and did what he's been doing for the last 43 years...looking at me and just shaking his head. Once I got into the O.R. I asked the nurse if Dr. Pohl listens to any music during surgery. She said yes. Now I figured a guy like Dr. Pohl would chill out to Mozart, Beethoven, Handel. This nurse tells me he listens to hip-hop.
Hip-hop.
I don't know about you but I have a problem knowing that delicate surgery is being performed on me while the Pohl man is listening to 50 cent singing about beeyoches and hos. Any-who, the nurses go to move me onto the operating table using an inflatable mattress. This thing starts to fill up all around me and my last thought before I passed out was, "Okay, I'm a cannoli." I awoke in recovery and I gotta tell you, I felt great. Everyone was surprised including myself. They brought me up to my room and that's when the REAL fun began.
Let me tell you about my roommate, Jimmy.
Jim was this Portuguese guy in his 70's who just had a growth removed from his liver. When they brought me into the room, Jimmy was on the commode. The smell in the room was worse than Lisa an hour after eating Wendy's chili.
It was gonna be a fun night.
Not only did this genetic defect snore, he talked in his sleep. No, I take that back. HE HAD TOTAL CONVERSATIONS WITH HIMSELF. Nurses would come in to check on him and when they left the room...HE WAS STILL TALKING TO THEM!!! This went on all night. Thank God for infomercials and TNT running "The Godfather" at 3am. In the morning when Lisa showed up I informed her that I WAS going home that day. The nurse drew up my discharge papers but told me it would be up to Dr. Pohl's associate to clear me. When he showed up here's EXACTLY what happened: He looked at me and said, "Do you want to go home?" I said yes. He said, "Okay." Done. I got home Saturday afternoon, Lisa picked up my pain meds and I've been resting comfortably ever since. I've been doing a lot of walking and catching up on my sleep. I get kinda bored during the day because I really can't do to much. I think that's why God invented Playstation. So, I'll keep you all up to date on my progress and maybe I'll see some of you at the support group. Bye for now. Lisa's in bed...time for me to hit my secret stash of Snickers bars...LOL
I LOVE YOU
Your wife.
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