Don't want to go to the support group

I'm nearing the end of the process, i've completed all of my tests and i'm awaiting my final appt. on the 23 to get my surgery date. The Doctor that I go to told me in the begining that he strongly recommended i attend the support group but i honestly had no intentions in going, he didn't say they were mandatory. Now my friend is just starting her tests and the same doctor's office told her that if she plans on getting lapband that she must go to 2 support groups mandatory. So i'm confused. I just really don't want to go... I don't feel comfortable being around a big group of people especially if i happen to know people there, i know that they went throught he same thing as me but i dont know i just don't want to... does anyone know if this was true do you need to complete 2 support groups? My friend says there is a signup sheet and they check and make sure you go.

I don't have your doctor, so I don't know what is required of you with regards to support group meetings, but speaking from personal experience, I have attended every support group mtg offered at my hospital since Feb, even tho I just had surgery in Sept.  There is no rule there that says I have to talk at these mtgs, and I believe I have gotten more out of simply listening.  There are so many people there who want to share their experiences, and sometimes thing**** home with me.  This journey is a lifetime one, and at some point, I may have questions that only people who have shared the journey can answer for me.  They can also celebrate my successes, which helps to make it sweeter for me.   Just my two cents worth.  If you have questions about the requirements, call your doc's office and ask. I'm sure they have the answer.

I know it can seem over whelming but this is probably the only place in this world where you are not judged. There are no looks and whispering. Plain and simply a group of very kind and supportive people who want to help. I was sooo nervous my 1st meeting and i dreaded going. Now I feel so relaxed and it actually motivates me. Again I am just adding my $.02 but the support groups are what they are called. Support. Give 1 a try, sit in the back of the room, wear a hat so nobody notices you. But this is 1 of the keys to the success of your tool. Hope to see you there.

Hi!

Congrats on getting all your tests done! Only two more weeks until you get your date! That's awesome!

I go to all the area support groups. At first, I was a fly on the wall at the Miriam Hospital and RI Hospital ones because I just needed to listen. I was so afraid of running into people I know (in real life) but I was really looking forward to meeting people from the RI Forum here.

Dr. V. attends the Miriam Hospital meeting from time-to-time and is very supportive. Yes, there is a sign in sheet and like Jaime said, you can sit in the back of the room.

There is a sign in sheet at the RIH meeting too. And you can sit in the back of the room there as well. No one will pester you to talk.

The sign in sheet at Roger Williams has no names. We just write patient or guest.

Just be prepared, we do go around the room and say our first name and what stage we are in (pre-op, post-op, etc)

I HIGHLY recommend the groups as well! I think all the docs should HIGHLY recommend them and even make it mandatory for two meetings. They are very informational! I get things from the support groups that I can't find on the internet, in my family, from my friends or from any book I read.

I take what I need and leave the rest.

The next Miriam meeting is Tuesday, October 28th. The next RIH meeting is Wednesday, November 5th (and that's an easy one because it's a fashion show. We just have to sit and watch)! These are both run by LifeSpan and have the sign in sheets with the names. So you can tell Dr. V. Those are the ones you attended if you want.

Unfortunately, I will be missing the next RW meeting and Miriam meeting because I will be flying to and from Florida on those dates. But I will be more than happy to pick you up and bring you to the RIH meeting! I live in Pawtucket too!

Please re-consider. You never know. If you don't like them, you can say you went and it didn't work out for ya. Or you may experience just one more 'new' thing that you really like on your journey to being healthy!

Carpe Diem!

Jules

Thank you so much for all your words of encouragement it really means alot. I will think about going, obviously if means getting my surgery or not i will def. be there! I'm actually not a shy person at all, i don't actaully know why i don't want to go. I guess i'm just scared. I've never really had to talk about my weight with other people or been forced to really look at it as a problem... people just assume i'm happy with myself because i come off as a confident person, Wow do they not know it's an act! Anyways thank you so much, who knows maybe i'll see you there!

My doctor did not make this mandatory but did suggest that I go.  I actually only went to my first meeting a couple of months ago (been banded for for awhile now). 

Everyone is different and for me, it wasn't important.  I got all of the support I needed from family and these boards.  Every doctor has their own rules.  It is important that you follow your doctors rules and not worry so much about the rules that other people may have to follow.  Good luck...

Thanks, that's kind of how i feel too. I have support from my friends and mom and am not sure i feel comfortable opening up around people I don't know. Thanks for you reply.

Hello.  I had my surgery with Drs. V and Sax just a little over 7 weeks ago.  So impressed you're testing is all done, feels good to have that checklist completed. 

Was told the meetings were highly recommended, but never heard the "2" rule.  I was nervous when I went to my first meeting for some of the same reasons you've mentioned.  After attending, realized no need to be be.  You are asked to sign in, but after that all you have to do is listen.  No pressure is put on you to talk or to answer any questions.  You will gain so much by being in the company of pre-ops, post-ops in all different stages and some of the team from the surgeons office.  They have so much information, guidance and kindness to share.

I wish you well on your WLS journey.
~ Sandy

Thank you for replying, I am def. thinking of attending the support group... atleast one! I am very excited about having all of my tests done. I am anxiously waiting for "THE DATE". I do not want anything to get in my way and if it means going to a support group I will do it. Thanks again for all of your words of encouragement.

I have found the support groups very helpful in time of need, comfort or distress. I have met some very beautiful people on OH (and I mean both inside and out). They have supported me and my family through every step. I am currently 1 1/2 weeks post-op of RNY. I have had people tell me what I needed to hear, in loving tones, and sometimes, not so loving tones...but all in all, it was what I really needed to hear. (Sometimes tough love is the thing that does the trick.)

You are not in this alone, and having asupportive family now is great, but you are about to transfer boats...they will not understand some of the things you are going to experience. Their answers may be given in love, but might not lead to true sucess in the long run. Here on OH, and at each of the support groups are people that have dealt with similiear issues, tackled the pain, frustration, tears, joys and triumphs that you will soon too.  Support groups are just that...support. They are what you make of them. You will gain so many new friends...a new family...you will think to yourself, how did I ever live without them for so long?!

Come, speak or sit quiet, no one will make you talk...but I would suggest a small note pad...you will learn alot and want to write down some of the suggestions that you hear. Bring a friend, just don't bring donuts ;)

Hope to see you!

~Ruth