Feeling extremely emotional this month

I listen to country music and those songs can make me cry at the drop of a hat.  But I seem to be much more emotional lately.  I have felt this way for the last month, as my surgery is getting closer.  I am not scared at all. I have the most faith in Dr Pohl and the whole team at RW, so it is not that.  I think it is just the fact that my life is beginning to change.  I also have a fear of failing at this. I feel like in my life I have started so many things, been so gung ho at the beginning, and then it sort of peters out before I get to the finish line.  I worry this this whole process will follow that pattern.

Did/Do any of you have those fears/concerns as well?

I absolutely felt that way- esp right before like you are.  I think we get so involved in the testing and the approval that we almost forget about what is to come in a way.  We finally get almost there, no more obstacles, and it hits us.  This is life changing!  This is it!!  We think about what we are losing and mourn our "loss of food".  We stop focusing on how much better we will feel or become.  We just tend to think about what we will lose and how it is forever.  And what if we aren't that strong person we thought we were?  I think we all go through this in one way or another. 

Just know- which you already do- your mind and stomach are just telling you different right now, any little thing you think you may be giving up will be replaced tenfold by greater things.

Thanks.  I was talking to my husband today and he told me that failing this time is not an option, that I was finally doing it the right way.  He said that I have tried for years to do it on my own, and now I am finally getting the help I need to do it for good. I sure hope he is right.

I agree, I may be mourning the loss of the food as my friend.  Not a very good friend either, because of it I have high BP and Diabetes.  I know it is time to kick this friend to the curb!  But still and all, learning to deal with life, not eating with all the feelings is a scary thing.  I guess this week I will shed a lot of tears, as I am dealing with coming up on the surgery with no food right now.  I know the other side will be great!  But it is after all a journey, and anything worth having is no easy road.

 I felt the same way.   I was so engrossed in the appts, getting the approval, your not paying attention to what your doing it all for, so when all the appts are done, you have more time to think.   Right after I had the surgery I was laying in bed wondering why the hell I put myself thru this, I had a lot of pain and if I had to "eat" one more clear liquid I would scream.    I still am afraid of failure so I haven't been excersising like I should.  I was emotional because I was losing a part of me. Sure I was going to gain a new me but you are saying good bye to a life you are used to.  

Yes, I totally agree.  Once I was done with the appts, I was still dealing with what the insurance co req'd me to do, and that took a lot of my time and attention.  Now, time to breathe and reflect on where all this is taking me.  Yes, I've been using food as my drug of choice for a very long time.  I am not 20, 30,or even 40...I am over 50 now, and have spent at least 35 years with my "friend" food, there for me when I am happy, sad, bored, lonely, or just felt like eating cos it smelled good, or looked good, or it was offered.  Now, looking forward to living not as a fat person, the only way I know how to live, is both scary and exhilarating.  I know things will look good a little farther down the road, but at least I am feeling my feelings this week instead of eating them away.  Some progress for the future, right?

Hi Buddy!

I Soooo understand how you feel. I start out and finish (or not finish) the same way as you.

I have worried about the same thing here. I'm all motivated and pushing myself now. Am I going to continue this way? God, I hope and pray I do.

I think my problem is that I get bored easily. Once I become experienced at something, I get bored with it and have to move on to something else to OCD about.

My life has changed so much since beginning this journey! It's incredible and scarey all at the same time! I've spent so many years alone in my shell. Both body and soul. I was always jealous of my family and friends for the lives they had. I always felt as though everyone else had a life but not me. Now, well now, I am developing my own life within their lives. It's incredibly delicious!

It's very emotional. You're in the right place at the right time and you have all of us with you!

I love you Buddy!

Jules

Thanks Buddy!!  I guess with the same birthday, we have a lot of the same tendencies, huh? (BTW, the woman who checked me in at the hospital the other day had our birthday too!) 

Your comment about getting bored and then moving onto something else to OCD about hit the nail RIGHT on the head! hahaha...Sad but true...funny to see it in writing tho. 

Thanks for letting me know how pleasant things will be on the other side.  I think I have shed a few tears in anticipation of that too...Who am I to deserve it?  But I have spent years affirming to myself that I DO deserve it, and I am gonna prove it to myself as the pounds melt away.

Thanks to all of you for being here with me.  Looking forward to getting on that d@mned losers bench!

Cara it is so normaly to have those feelings.  I didn't get them until after the surgery, but we all get them.  You can do this!  You will do this!  We are all here to support you.  Just remember it took you years to get where you are....you won't lose all of your weight overnight.  The band is a tool and losing weight is a process. 

You can do this - and if you need me - you have my number!!

Thanks Danielle!  I am in no hurry to lose the weight, and I understand that it takes time, which is probably a good thing, as I will need that time to get used to being the new me.  It is just so wild to me how many emotions I am feeling right now.  It really runs the gamut.  Thanks for all the support! 

Oh man!  I know how you feel and i am not quite as far along as you.  I finished my tests and all, now i wait for an appt with the surgeon (Dr. Giovanni).  But there are times, like when i wake up, i think about the surgery and how it will feel, and i think "am I ACTUALLY doing this?".  I get all nervous and anxious.  It just seems so far fetched, that i am not just imagining it all.   Its at those times when i think about the food I might not ever have again, and wonder "can i live like that?".  But if i start thinking about seeing the weight come off, the sugar levels coming down (way down) and my BP going normal and my PCP telling me how good my Chol/tris are,  and being able to do things with the family without feeling like people are looking at the fat woman trying to be "normal".  I also think about how much more mobile and agile i will be in karate!  THATS when i know i am doing the right thing and then i get anxious and excited and can't wait!   
So girlfriend,   I can't wait until you have your surgery so you can enjoy all the things you imagine to be.       Eldy