Bad experience...

I really can't even begin to understand why this happened or where people get off putting other people down that they don't even know.

Last night Joe and I went for a long walk together. While we were walking, some guy drove by us and yelled out the window "keep walking fat ass" - obviously he was yelling it to me as there was no one else walking and Joe is by no means overweight. I heard it clearly but I didn't say anything to Joe, I just kept walking and so did he. On the way back I mentioned it to Joe and he said that he heard the guy as well. Joe said he didn't address it because he was hoping that I didn't hear it - but unfortunately I did.

It really bothers me that even after losing 197 lbs, I'm still viewed by society as a "fat ass". Am I EVER going to be normal? Or even viewed as semi-normal by people who don't know me? Part of me is really hurt and upset by the fact that this is someone's impression of me and part of me says that he doesn't know me or know how far I've come so who cares - but deep down inside, I do care - I really do.

As shallow as it sounds, it would be nice to just be looked at as normal - not as the "fat girl". At 10 months post-op I'm still obese - I still have a long way to go until I get to my goal and the weight isn't coming off like it used to. I know that this is to be expected and don't get me wrong, I'm happy with my progress, but I'm also upset that still, minus 197 lbs, I'm still viewed by the public eye as "fat".

Almost immediately I felt myself revert back to my "old self" and become very self conscious and unworthy. I felt like crawling into a hole to avoid dealing with the hurt that came with the comment. Even talking/typing it now is making me feel horrible. It's very hard to separate the logical part (knowing that I've made huge progress and I am proud of where I am and who I have become) - from the emotional part (feeling that even after losing 197 lbs I'm still a fat person and that is how I will be looked at until I lose more).

Thanks for listening, I just needed to vent.

 Oh Laura, I'm so sorry that happened to you! (((((HUGS)))) It sucks that people can be so ignorant and cruel sometimes. You are awesome!!

Thanks Krista.

I'm glad that I have a good support system here.

~Laura

Laura- people can be so ignorant and have no clue how hurtful they are being.  I am sure this intellectual pigmy knew how rude he was being and was "impressing his friends".  Being fat- I always try not to stand out- blend into the background so no one notices me and comments about my appearance.  I guess I have gotten pretty good at it because I meet people several times before they tend to remember me.  I just felt it was always easier this way.  Other people find themelves being the "jolly fat person"- always cracking jokes and making fun of themselves so no one else does.  The public sees obese people as lazy, and therefore has no tolerance for them.  The discrimination sucks- but I unfortunately don't see it changing anytime soon.

You have done amazing- lost a whole person already!  When I saw your pics in the pool at Julies- I was so stunned by how great you looked!  The changes we go through mentally with this process are just as hard as the physical.  Just know that you are working your hardest to be the best you that you can be.  Ignore the troll in the car.

and remember- you are losing your weight- he will ALWAYS be a moron

Beth-

Thanks for your last comment - he WILL always be a moron. That really helped me realize that I'm doing something to change it and he isnt. Although it doesnt make everything all better, I certainly have a different perspective to look at it now.

Thanks again.

I'm sorry to hear that happened to you.  I don't get how some people can just be so rude to people they don't even know.  You have come a long way & will continue to keep loosing.  Try not to let it bother you (i know, easier said than done).  I'm always afraid of having something like that happen to me too.  I actually walk through the woods at the Cumberland Monastary so I can be "hidden".  Just remember, you are a beautiful person inside & out and will only continue to get better!!!

Thank you for your kind words and encouragement.

~Laura

i know what u mean about these people.   I was walking out of a Mcdonalds one day and a guy in a car on the main street yelled out       " why don't u have another big mac?"   i felt like crap.  I felt embarrassed and exposed.  Like, geez, i can't even get a burger without judgement.  Then i started thinking about the guy.  He's thoughtless, rude, uncaring of his fellow human being.  I truly believe what goes around comes around.   I am sure he has had alot of abuse in his life and that is why he feels he needs to lash out at innocent bystanders.  Its kind of like a negative form of  "pay it forward".  Where one bad impression leads to another.  Break that impression.  You were feeling great about yourself.  You know your own history.  You know what you have gone through to get to where you are  now.  You know how proud your family and friends are of you.  You know you are an inspiration to those of us just starting our journey.  Stand straight and smile.  You are soooo worth it!   

Thanks Eldy. I appreciate you sharing your story with me. It just makes me upset that people judge others without knowing anything about them.

~Laura

Laura,  I can't even believe it.  Like this guy had nothing better to do with his life.  My husband worked with this guy that made a fat comment because my husband was eating a salad for lunch.  My husband turned around to him and said..."well at least I can lose weight but you will always be stupid."  Clearly not an original come back, but it really shut him up.  You are a beautiful person!!!  Those who can't see it, must need glasses.