Topic 1

Ok - I think that there may be 2 topics today...I have a lot to say and not many people to listen.

Here are the questions-

1 - What has been the best thing about your WLS or if you are a pre-op, the best thing about your journey so far?

2 - What has been the worst or most difficult thing about your WLS or journey so far?

Honestly, this is where my problem is coming in. My answer for both would be the same and it is so confusing. The best and worst thing about WLS so far has got to be the changes that are taking place with me. The physical changes as well as mental and emotional. I am being told constantly that I look great - yea, it feels good, but at the same time, I am thinking about how I looked before and it makes me upset that I let myself get so overweight. I started out at 427 lbs...thats crazy. I feel good about myself and at the same time I feel like I dont even know who I am anymore. Everything has changed, my style, the way I like my hair, my makeup, who I want to be around, etc. Its so hard to deal with all of this at the same time!!! On top of all of that, I am dealing with these crazy emotions that I never had to deal with before. I was never an emotional person before, I mean, well not overly emotional and now all I am doing is thinking and thinking and making myself exhausted. I am digging up old memories and I have a lot of "what-ifs" going on in my head. I feel so stressed and before surgery I was easily able to just deal with things and nothing effected me. And now - complete opposite.

Ok, I know that was long and confusing. Please share your experience with the 2 questions listed. Feel free to share any feedback you have about my situation.

Thanks for listening - reading.

LB

Hi LB, I know as a pre-op I'm not where you are yet, but here are my honest opinions... You have every right to feel a little overwhelmed right now!! I know I do and I haven't even had the surgery yet. You've just made an amazing journey, both in making a decision to take care of yourself differently then you have in the past and in having the actual surgery. Also, from reading some of the boards your hormones are naturally out of whack from the weight loss, etc. It also can't be easy to feel like you are a different person mentally, what with changes in appearance and with regards to relationships. I think the fact that you recognize and respect these changes says a lot about what a great, strong person you are! I know for myself, that I made an appointment to see a therapist because I was worried about some of these things already. I know for myself the hardest thing I have to do is to learn to love and respect myself more then I have in the past. Keep up the good work that you are doing and know that you are FABULOUS! And if you feel like you need a little more help then the help you recieve from you friends and family, don't be afraid to go out there and get it. YOU DESERVE IT!! We all do.  BTW - if I overstepped just now, just disregard! LOL. Take care!!

Thanks for the kind words. I really needed that. Its just strange to me to not feel like "me" anymore. I printed out a list of therapists that my insurance covers and I tried to call several times but hung up before anyone answered. I think that I just need to get myself together and call first thing tomorrow morning.

I knew that there would be struggles after surgery, but I guess I didnt fully prepare myself for all that could happen at once.

Thanks again.

LB

Hey LB, I am pre-op, but I have been fighting the weight battle since before you were born.  Have you thought about this?  When you were heavy, were you eating when you were feeling insecure, stressed, etc?   Did you use food to make yourself feel better, even if you didn't realize you were doing that?  And now that you are not using food in that same way, are you getting the chance to feel those feelings?  Maybe that's some of the raw-ness in your emotions?   That may be why you are thinking so much and feeling so many things from the past.  In the past, you ate instead.   This is just part of the journey, sweetie.  You're gonna come thru this a much wiser person, and you will end up loving yourself even more than you do now.   Huggs!  You're doing GREAT! 

Thanks Cara. I think you are right on target. It's really hard to accept that I dont have an outlet anymore...well, at least I need to find a new outlet. I was so used to eating before when I was happy, stressed, angry etc. and now what...I just sit and "feel". Its awful to know that all those years of my life I wasnt feeling, I was eating.

Im making an appointment with someone to talk some more about this because I dont want it to get any worse.

I really appreciate each and every one of you. You really make the world of difference when you are needed. You are the best!

LB

Good for you!  Talking to someone is a great way to get some better understanding about what makes you tick.   It's a long road, but well worth the trip.  I hope to be walking along side of you soon....right now, I am still snacking at the rest stop.    Maybe you'll be able to teach me a thing or two.

Hey everyone, we are all the same person as we started out as. Some of us just have to rethink things, or make different decisions about things. All the thinking and rethinking makes ya crazy.. before, ya just did it! whatever it was, cuz thats the way it was...least for me anyhow. Be it eating or lack of exercise, who ya hung out with. Its all the same stuff..just thought out in a different process, so it seems like you are a different person, but it is still YOU! all you! Things will get on track and it will be good. However you get on track, whatever helps you... go for it! Help is always the perfect thing to ask for! best wishes

Hi LB, I feel your pain.  The surgery effects your body, but it also effects your mind.  We all have a self image and that dosen't change as fast as the weight loss.  Even though I get lots of compliments, feel better, fit into small clothes, in my mind I know I still see a fat person.  I think it's getting better, but I find sometimes when I think of myself, I still see a fat ugly person. This will change for all of us over time.  I also understand the what if's.  I look back at all the wasted time I could have been healthy, instead of eating myself to death, and all the things I wouldn't do or couldn't do.  But I keep reminding myself I couldn't do this until I was ready for it.  And now that I have,  I have so much to look foward to.   I agree with Aracay in that most of us used food to deal with emotions so now that we don't have it, we have to deal with the emotions. This is a long journey with many bumps in the road, but you will get through it. If you ever need to talk, rant, or complain, feel free to pm me. dave

 

Here are my anwers to the questions. 1.  The best thing about WLS surgery is watching the clothes sizes drop.  I have gone from a 4XL to a large, and medium is coming soon!  Now I love looking a clothes in the stores and can't wait to get to goal to really get a nice wardrope.  The funniest thing is that before surgery I would take anything I could find that would at least button, and didn't care how bad it looked.  Now if I'm trying on clothes and they don't fit right, or I don't like how they look, I put them back. 2.  For me the  most difficult was the first couple weeks.  I was uncomfortable,  tired, moody, and I couldn't  eat.  It was awful, all the years of using food to comfort me and I couldn't even do that.  I had moments of really questioning myself on why i did this to myself. Of course now I keep my eye on my goals and the weight coming off, and it's much better than eating myself to death. dave

Hi LB, Cara was so right, we hid our feeling and emotions with the act of eating food.  Now that we dont't /can't do that anymore, our feeling and emotions are swimming in our heads.  It's a difficult thing to deal with.  It does take awhile to adjust to the more slimmer body, but it does happen slowly.  I too wear my hair, clothes, and makeup differently.  More people notice you then before and I find more freindly and at times it's difficult to handle.   Before we used to be part of the decor, now we are being noticed and have to interact more.  To answer your two questions, first, I feel better health wise.  My blood pressure, cholotrsol numbers are great.  My blood sugar was never high, but now it's very very good.  So in general I can move much more easily and just find myself looking and feeling  so much better.  The second answer to your question is like I said before, I have to find more things to do instead of eating.  I believe I made eating more of a hobby than anything, now I have to find other things to keep my mind busy...thats where the thinking comes in.  I also am not working right now and finding a job with the hours i want is hard.  Thats where I get bored and try to find things I like to do which is hard because I am not an artsy craftsy person.  I am used to working and staying home stinks.  Plus I am spending more money being home!!! Not a good thing.  Carol b