I cant believe what my boss said to me

Every morning at my wok all of the department heads have a meeting to go overthing  we have going on. This morning at our meeting my boss was kind of half joking/half giving another woman a hard time and mentioned that she was smoking much less because of our new policy (Jan 1- no smoking on the grounds) to which she replied "but Im eating more" and said he would have to give her a raise to cover clothing costs. I joked and looked at her and said I'm buying new clothes constantly (name) so we'll switch. My boss turned and looked at me and said "She doesnt want to gain that much"........  I tried to play it off and replied that neither did I. As if the first comment wasnt enough he said "have you ever been skinny?" I calmly replied "never" and thankfully it ended there and we went on to business.  I have to say though, that was very embarassing and the more I think of it the more upset I get. My boss is somewhat eccentric, but come on!  This has had me somewhat down all day. I dont get many comments at work about my loss any more, but I dont expect to. My boss has never said anything to me about it, not once. I find myself now looking at myself today and really having those unsecure feelings and thinking that perhaps I really dont look any different at all yet. I was finally just beginning to feel like I could see some changes, now I dont any more.  I'm sorry, but how does everyone deal with this kind of thing? I could use some good advice. I know I shouldnt let it get to me, but it really has. 

Angela - I don't even know how to begin to respond to this.  It sounds to me like your boss is an ____ hole.  I know it's easier said than done to ignore the likes of someone like that - I would not value his opinion of me or anyone else for that matter at all - nor would I let him get me and all that I have accomplished get me down!!!  It also sounds like another issue all together is that he is discriminatory - in plain english - SCREW HIM!    Angela - do me a favor - look at yourself - read back through all your posts on this website - be proud of who you are!!!  Not only what you have accomplished in changing yourself and making a better life for yourself - but also the kindness and support you give to so many of us when we need it.  You truly are inspirational and I for one see that - even without ever meeting you face - to - face (yet!).  Please don't let a jerk like this take any of this journey you are on away from you - someday he'll see the final product - then you can turn your nose up at him!!!! smile girlfriend   Pam

OMG, Angela, your boss was way out of line! Those comments were rude and totally unprofessional. The best (nice) response to "have you ever been skinny?" would have been "have you ever had tact?" The not-so-nice one would have been "have you ever been less of an a$$hole?" People like that get me soooo mad! If it will make you feel better and you have that kind of relationship with him, you might just sit down with him privately and tell him that those comments were uncalled for, embarassing, and unprofessional. He probably will just apologize and say he was only joking, but it might help you stop thinking about it so much and wondering what you should have said (which I do ALL the time and it just drives me crazy!)

Well, you work for a real loser don't you? I know this is a cop out, but I have to say, I have been in a similar situation and it is true.  You are from the South, and we Northerners are notorious for foot-in-mouth disease.  Blunt doesn't begin to cover the extent of the rudeness of which some people are guilty.  Not to say that what he said to you is forgiveable, it is not.  I don't know any way that you can tell him off without getting fired, I wish I had a way.  That's another part of it.  Sometimes people get a little power under their belt and think it is a pass to allow themselves to speak to subordinates any way they choose.  Do you have an HR department?  Is that an avenue you wish to pursue?  I think it is ok that he never commented on your weight loss before, it would not have been appropriate.  The fact that he did today was inappropriate too.  You are doing very well.  You are looking very different.  I saw it myself!  There are different reasons why we are overweight.  Most of the time there is something deep inside that keeps us covered in fat to allow the real us to not be hurt.  It makes us insecure.  Most of all though, we are caring, loving people just like anyone else but people only see the packaging.  It is unfortunate.  Their loss though.  I think you are wonderful, and I feel blessed to call you my friend.  Even if we both get down to size 2, we will be friends.  I don't love you because you are heavy, I love you because you are Angela. (((((hugs))))) Leslie

Angela, Boy that is awful what he did. What a jerk he is. I would say something to him for sure. But don't let what he says get you down. You are a kind and good women. Claudia

Angela....im so sorry that this happened to you! Obviously he is inconsiderate and ignorant and doesnt have a clue how to speak to a woman.

I think that the most important thing to address here is what you said about not feeling like you can see any changes..... Angela - you are a beautiful person, inside and out and believe me, I can see the changes! Please dont let this situation get you down about yourself. You are and have been doing so well with your weight loss! You dont deserve to be spoken to in that way. Please dont let him get you down!

LB

What a $%^&$!!!!  People like him make me so mad!!  Unfortunately with who he is, it is pretty much suck it up and know that you are such a better person than he is!

Hi Angela,

Wow, the nerve of some people!!!! (your boss).   I find that some people can be so stuck on themselves that they are insensitive to others (it seems this describes your boss).   Angela, I have never met you but from your emails you are a very caring person, creative (liven things up, get togethers, trader joe's trip etc)and you are always offering help, to be a hostess or just to listen.  This tells me a lot about you as a person.   You made a major step in your life by getting the RNY surgery and you are making awesome progress.  By looking at your before and after pictures I see a major change and you look good!  Dont' let your boss or anyone make you feel like nothing has changed, it has.   Keep your head up and keep on doing what you are doing to reach your goal.

Robin

and this My OH Friends is a perfect example of why I feel I need anger managment. My FIRST response when I just read that was "F***er!!! I would have punched him in the mouth"!! (I'm all talk, not very violent anymore but I still have tendencies! LOL) Sadly I can relate, I had a boss call me a "fat *******" in the stupid friggin austin powers/mike meyers voice a month after my surgery. He was trying to be funny and affectionate, but I was lucky...he quickly apologized when I told him that "he was lucky he had the mental capacity of a 5 year old and I would feel bad kicking the Sh*t out of someone with a mental deficiency".

Angela, I'm so sorry he said that do you. And girl you are changing every single day. While the comments from one person can feel like they may crush you at the moment, my best advice is to take them and use them to make you stronger.

(I still feel like he needs a punch in the mouth. I know violence isn't the answer blah blah blah...)

But try to cheer up butter cup, and remember there are plenty of people in this fine world that love you, just the way you are.

Thanks everyone, I;ve decided I cant let this get me down and while I'm sure I'll have moments that I want to tell him off, he is the sole owner of the company, and I do like my job and its just not worth the stree. I did  say something to him this afternoon and he apologized, but then continued with "you're a bit of a phenomenon, what you've done is not that common and its amazing, not a lot of people could do it. (everyone at work knows about the surgery, I havent kept it a secret)One just has to wonder how someone actually becomes so big, I mean are they big all their life or do they just decide to let themselves go and become large" 
I just sat there in amazement and finally just looked at him and said "whatever" and walked off. I decided that its not worth the arguement and hes going to be whp he is regardless, I just have to rise above it. 
Thank you all again so much, Its so great to know that I have such a great support system in you guys.