Sharing my Lap Band News with friends.

This past weekend I went to a holiday party.  I had three grapes and two glasses of seltzer water.  ( I am on my 2 week liquid diet).  It is not common knowledge to my friends that I am about to have Lap Band Surgery.  I had one slightly drunk person jamming butter cookies dipped in this raspberry stoli chocolate concoction in my face on three occassions.  You have to eat this!!!  By the third time I yelled at her.  I am on a liquid diet and can not eat that please give to someone who wants it!!!!   I got more than a few strange stares.  I felt really uncomfortable.  I didn't say anything to anyone, because I wasn't sure I would qualify for the surgery, now that I have my date (Dec 14) I'm not sure how to tell everyone without having to answer 500 questions.  I'm already stressing over this liquid diet, getting everything done (christmas shopping, wrapping etc) and getting myself ready mentally and physically. 

I could really use some advice on this subject.  Do you think a mass email would be tacky?  I thought if I put it out there and answer the 100 stupid questions I know they'll ask, it would be a good thing, Right????

I think the e-mail idea is a good one.  Once I had my approvals I did something similar.  I had told my closet friends, but for those I don't see too often, I posted it in a blog on myspace.  I have a lot of friends who communicate using myspace to keep in touch.  So I put it out to everyone at once giving all the details I wanted them to know.  If someone wanted more info, they could e-mail or call me. The most important thing is to do what makes you comfortable.  This is all about you, and what is good for you, so don't feel pressure to have to tell everyone.  It's up to you as to how you want to handle things. Good luck with your surgery. Dave

From what I have been seeing and some of the attitudes I have encountered, I don't think I am really going to tell anyone.  That is just my personal choice.  As the "fat chick", I always feel like people are watching what I eat, wondering how I got the way I am, and should I really be eating that...  I fear that if I tell them what I am doing, they will scrutinze even more, and comment on anything I eat.  I really don't need food police.  Also, too many people feel this surgery is an "easy way out", and we are just too lazy, we could just work harder and put down the twinkies and lose weight.  These attitudes are frustrating as hell!!  (and I know I personally, with everything else on my plate and the stress of surgery- could not politely answer these people) I figure, when I start to lose, then maybe I will let people know.  I will be more in a state of mind to deal at that point.

I have chose not to tell anyone and will continue after I have surgery.  Every place I have ever worked in...people loved to gossip...even about the ones they act friendly with. I don't need that in my life. I can't stand gossip and the people that live for it. We all have issues and secrets in our personal lives....some things are meant to be personal without having one pick it apart to pieces.  I have the support I need from the people that need to know and that's all that matters.

 

I chose to tell  4 people, my mom,  2 daugthers and my youngest sister.  I to found that you get negative feed back from the general population. Robin 

CCbeachgirl 

I have only told a few close friends what I am doing... as far as the people that I work with I told them that I was having surgery to remove a hiatal hernia (which is being done with the bypass) so it worked out well!

No one needs to know exactly what I am doing - it is not their business!  One friend still does't understand why I am doing this and how they approved me!  She just doesn't know how being overweight most of your life with the ups and downs on the scale is!

So just do this for you and forget about what everyone else around you thinks and says! You are doing this to better your health and yourself!

Good luck! 

i have told no one even my family its my wonderful gift to me and i love it every day . it some thing i did for me and i am the one who will cheri**** for ever . i said i was going in for tightening of my esaphagas . it a problem all my family has had with weak swallowing mussles . so it was no problem and no one has even been suspicious. as for work the company is a provider of weigh****chers at work and im loosing with the rest of the guys in my building . i dont want gossip about what i have dont or a million questions . so i smile inside head to toe and i am so happy i did this wonderful thing for my self. my hubby was against the idea 3 years ago and had stayed negitive so i did not even tell him and he loves the weigth loss and i feel great .. we lost  a  dear friend 2 weeks after she had lap band due to a complication that only was caused by another issue . and he would not hear of me doing it . so when i was ready i did it because i wanted it for me . i love my band and new life................................ so do it for your self and to hell with others opinions you dont need others coments it your gift to your wonderful self.     msparis

I guess I am the odd ball.  I tell everyone that will listen.  I am not going to hide from what I chose to do.  It was the best thing I could have done to make me happy and healthy.  Anyone that knows me has seen me go up and down throughout my life.  They can tell how unhappy I was.  I am not ashamed of what I did and I do not take critisizm very well.  (I have told off a couple of people).  The hardest time I had was with my sister.  We are best friends and she was against the surgery.  I finally had to tell her, "Look, I am doing this you can either support me or keep your comments to yourself".  She got the point.  She has been very supportave since my surgery.  I think she was worried about me actually having surgery of any kind.  There were some people I chose not to tell until the night before I went.  I sent out a MASS e-mail and explained what was coming up.  I also mentioned that I know the surgery comes with a lot of opinions, but to keep those to yourselves.  I said it as politely as I could.  I got TONS of supportive e-mails in response adn it made me feel great.  You have to be ok with what you are doing before you can defend it to anyone.  If you are secure with your decision, then I say go for it and tell all.  Believe me, they are going to notice when the weight comes falling off.

 

Good Luck,

jen

Thanks.  Your advice is much appreciated.  I'm still not sure what I am going to do.  I am leaning towards the mass email, but I like the hernia one too.  LOL  

I have not kept this a secret - but I havent' shouted it from the rooftops either.  Not that I have any problem with anyone knowing- i just don't want unsolicited advice from people who more than likely have no idea what they're talking about.   I am someone *****searches something to death before I do it - buying a toy for the kids, buying an appliance, a car ... oh God, you should have seen me when I bought my house  lol.  This is no different - in fact my pcp told me - I know you and know you have read everything you can about this so I'm just going to have you meet with the surgeon so he can tell you the negatives - things I might not pay as close attention to.  This way I made a very informed decision - no way I wanted anyone to tell me I just don't know what happens to you when you have this surgery because I do know (well - not first hand - YET). 

I like Jen's idea of mass email - this way those who love and care about you will know what you're doing - but no chance of the criticism before hand :) Pam