Has this happened to anyone else?

Hi all! Has this ever happened to anyone else? I work in a pretty stressful job. There are 9 of us total but only 2 on at any given time 24 hours a day. Not a bad deal overall. Here's my major stressor... My surgery is set for April 10th. I scheduled it out pretty far so that I'd have plenty of time saved up so I wouldn't have to rush back to work. There is another woman that I work with that had WLS about 2 years ago. She didn't have any co-morbidities but was close to the 400lb mark. She's done very well. At first, she was very helpful. She was extremely informative and answered every question I could think up. Now...holy crap. I don't have enough time in the day to pull out all the knives in my back. She's constantly bad mouthing me - saying telling people that I'm having WLS for the wrong reasons, etc. (I got high blood pressure that's barely controlled by meds and type 2 diabetes) She's just short of being hostile. The closer my surgery date gets, the worse she behaves. I've actually asked her point blank what the problem is, if there's something that we need to talk about. No luck. I'm a pretty laid back person. I can usually get along with almost anyone.....and if not, I can certainly be professional for 8 hours a day. I can't seem to win here though . We don't need to be best buds - but get a grip for cripes sake. Hopefully someone has some suggestions - cause at this point I'm entertaining visions of burying her butt up & turning her into a nice bike rack for someone. LOL! Thanks

Hi Chari, Sorry to hear you have even more stress at work. I haven't had this exact situation, but I've seen it and been part of it many times. Women can be so supportive and then become so hateful in a flash! I think it has to be part envy and part insecurity. You are going to be the one every one is talking about...look how great she looks, look how much weight she's lost, etc. Your co-worker is losing her place at the top, and it's because of you, so she's going to make you suffer for it. She may not even realize how nasty she's being; if she does, how very sad. You have made the right decision for you, congrats. on your up comming surgery. You know you can always get the support you need from us. Patty

Seeing that I've never had WLS before, I can't relate to this exact situation BUT when I was pregnant...everyone was soooo happy for me...blah blah blah....then the closer my due date/induction date came...the meaner they got...they complained about how clean I needed to be (nesting instinct) and they complained about the temperature I needed the room (I was fat on top of being preggo!)...it just got horrid and I couldn't wait for the baby to come for more than one reason. I think alot of it has to do with jealousy...you'll be getting a "vacation" of sorts from work and they have to pick up the slack. I'm not making excuses for ANYONE by any means...but thats just how MOST women work...they're only concerned about how things are going to effect them. Sounds selfish, I know, but I think it's human nature/self preservation. Where MOST men usually just taken things day to day and don't think about the long run...and are living in the moment. I have to admit that when I came back from maternity leave they weren't any better...they were pretty resentful that I had time off, but after a couple of days, things went back to normal. Good luck and let us know how you make out! Gianna

Thanks guys, The funny thing about it all is that I'm such a low-key person. I'm not a "center of attention" person by any means. It's definitely not a competition either. We've both chosen to do the WLS for completely different reasons. I'm getting nervous but I'm still sure about my decision. My only problem area is this one person. She's just plain foul most of the time. Our job really relies on the other person - she makes it really difficult when I ask her for details about something she's taken and she either turns her back to me or leaves the room. A passive-aggressive queen.... I had hoped that she'd get over whatever it is because it would be nice to have someone to talk to that's been there. Nope... Well, that just makes me greatful for everyone here on the board. You guys always have great info & advice, and Kristin's posts are always good for a laugh too!

I would just confront her and say - if you have nothing nice to say than don't say anything at all. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just support one another instead of being nasty behind my back. Unfortunately, there isn't much we can do about the actions of others. Unless of course it is causing you that much stress at work. Then you can claim hostile work environment and bring the situation to HR. I guess it just depends on what is less painful for you. Good luck - I hate mean people. Danielle

I agree with everyone here. You will be the one that everyone will be noticing. She has lost her spot. If I were in your shoes, I would not ask her anything else about wls and not even mention it again. I would only talk about work. She will notice this and try to speak to you about your wls etc...just let it go and change the subject. I would keep my distance from her and only deal with her about work related issues. By the way, has this woman kept her weight off since her wls? Good Luck ...and don't let her get to you....Seems there is one in every bunch!! Carol B

Thanks for replying everyone. It all helps. She had started to gain a little over Christmas but for the most part seems to be pretty steady with her weight. Others at work say she had a decent almost pleasent personality before surgery - but since the weight loss the only word they use is "foul". Surgery wasn't a cure-all for a social life. She doesn't seem to realize that it really IS what's on the inside that counts the most. I'm just greatful that I only have to work with her 2 days a week - then get my 2 days off to detox.