UGH!!

All this worrying about damn United Health has made me physically ill. I am obsessing over this, and I don't want to burden anyone with all these feelings I am having of hopelessness, but I don't know where else to turn. I am so grateful for you all on these boards, I don't know where I would be without you all. Every day before I got this news used to be a new day for me, one day closer to my goal, and now every day just sucks. One more day to get close to a rejection. After reading Kristin's profile about UHC, I have just about given up. One of my good friends keeps telling me to be optimistic, but I just can't at this point. I've been eating more (emotional eating that I thought I had a handle on for the most part), crying more, and I have not been as motivated. All of this in a weeks time. I have not gone back to smoking though, I guess this is one good thing that has come out of this all...and finding you all. I still find myself reading the posts, looking at all the before and after pictures, and it is like torture. Self-pay is not an option for me...I have a bankruptcy less than a year old, and I have used up most of the equity in my home. My family does not have the means to pay for a surgery of this magnitude. I can look for another job, but I have to make a certain amount of money in order to support my household. My husband works, but he can't do it all alone, and I cannot take a paycut for my own security. If I was to get another job, I would have to wait a long time to get the time in to get surgery, but it looks like that is my only hope at this point. Just venting really, feeling foolish too becasue I told a lot of people that I was having this done, and now I am not. Kristen L

Kristen........{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}} Firstly, nothing is impossible. Yes, we lose sight of the end result when someone throws a monkey wrench into the works, but without going into that old BS about one door shutting and another one opening, blah, blah, blah....I can say that perhaps something "different" is supposed to come your way. I was SO shattered when leaving Dr. Royes office last Friday. It's been 3 long years and I'm watching people pass me who've only been looking into this for a short time. But for whatever reason, I'm supposed to wait. I don't know why.....and believe me...I don't like it. I had to stop this weekend and look at the WHOLE picture. Sometimes when we're right on top of an emotional issue, it's so hard to be positive or motivated. But when we take a deep breath and stand back and really look at things, it becomes more clear. I've really been doing alot of thinking about my own situation, which is no where near as hard as what you're going through right now. Ulcers and other illnessess could very well make this surgery a non-option for me...in my opinion. I won't go ahead with this at ANY cost....being my life. So, as I told myself in the beginning,...I'm going to go through this process one step at a time....one foot in front of the other. And I have to understand that what I THINK should happen...or what I WANT to happen....may not be the case. I'm still in the fight and so are you. You're down right now and I certainly understand that. We have to lick our wounds BUT then we have to get up and keep on going. Quitting is not an option. Understanding the situation and then finding alternative options is something not all people have to do....just us special ones.... You have to look at everything! If you save enough money to go to Mexico and hubby can't go...I'll go with you! Whatever it is! I'll pay for your flight and misc. expenses if you can come up with the 10K for surgery. You may say....is that a challenge?....YES, it is. I know it sounds steep,.......but it just depends on how bad you want it. What will you do without to have the surgery. And save that money. As of late (last 5 years or so), I've been fortunate in the financial aspect of life, but not so fortunate in a lot of things that I've had to go through (if you've read my profile). I totally know misfortune and hopelessness. But I never gave up. I know how heavy your heart feels right now and it's ok.....we'll all wait while you take the time you need to deal with this situation......but when you're ready, I will help you ......if you get up, wipe the tears and start looking for alternative ways to make this work for you. Maybe it is getting another job. Maybe not. Look at every option!!!! I'm months away from surgery and that's IF I'm even medically cleared for it. I wonder what we can come up with during this time. I'm not quitting.......are you? We care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S.....you know what's more important than anything? I have a man who loves me for ME. I'm wounded and he's hurting because I hurt. But he would love me til doomsday if I never ever have this surgery. I can live with that. Shel

Wow Shel, you are really something else. Are you coming to the meeting next Wednesday? I would love to meet you. Your spirit is amazing and what you said about your hubby brought tears to my eyes because that is how mine is too. I don't post much and haven't been on too much lately because work is busy but I had to respond to this post. Hugs for you and everyone, Elisa LAP RNY 10/1/04 395/205/170??

Hi Elisa.......thank you for the very kind words. I appreciate that so much. Yes, I think I'm coming to the meeting. I have my follow up sleep study that Monday and should be free for the rest of the week. I would love to meet you too. There are so many very wonderful people on this board and I haven't had a chance to meet hardly anyone yet. I really hope to see you there. Thank you again for posting your nice thoughts. That is really so helpful right now and makes me feel so much better. And mostly,.......I'm so glad that you have a wonderful Porkchop just like mine. (LOL. Yes, that's what I call him). See you next week. Shel

Oh Kristen, I feel so bad that you have to go through this!! They will pay for you god forbid something happens to you because of your obesity, but they won't help you get the surgery to make you healthier. Go figure...do they realize what they will save in the long run?? Have your pcp write a letter...a lot of times you have to dispute it...if they find it medically necessary they will bring it to a "committee" to approve. I have had to do that with a few things with Blue Cross...they are like that with meds...you have to go through red tape and get letters to get it approved. It may work for you..it is worth a shot. don't get down..it will happen. Be patient. (easier said than done though). Focus on something else..belive me...last thing I want to do is wait for my approvel/date..but whatever is meant to be will be...keep your chin up...everyone here is so supportive even if you just have to blow off some steam.....blow away..we are here for you!! take care, Kristen D

i am really, really sorry that you're going through all of this. I know EXACTLY how you're feeling. It is an awful, hopeless feeling that goes right to the core. My advice to you is this - try going through a lawyer. If you use www.obesitylaw.com, they have different avenues to take, either by helping you write your appeal letters, or actually dealing with a court case. This is no time to stand idly by and just let UHC win. Who knows, maybe the more people take them to court, the more they'll pay for surgery? Seriously consider asking your employer to switch insurance policies. UHC *does* cover WLS - but it's your company that has chosen to not buy that insurance rider. So your company is really the one who needs to be fought. It sucks, i know - but if they're understanding, then maybe come benefit renewal time - they'll include WLS in their policy and you won't have to go looking for a new job. I know you want this surgery now.. believe me. but this is the way it is and there's no way around it - unless you work for it. You may have to make some sacrifices and it's going to suck something awful.. but if you just lay down and stop fighting.. you'll never get surgery. keep your chin up. seriously. things happen for a reason. i know why mine happened. because it forced me to fight for myself and what i needed. i had never done that, ever. but i did it and i'll never regret it. good luck! i'll be rooting for you!!! kristen

Kristen l . Dont give in or give up . Try to have your pcp help you and write letters. Call Dr. Royes office and see if they can come to bat for you or get advice from them to see if there is another way to go. Go to the meeting on June 7th and hear from others look for ideas. It can t hurt. God bless and I hope time passing lessens your greif take care and ill be in touch elaine

I would really like to go to this meeting as well to meet all of you. I know I haven't been on line alot but there has been way too much going on in my life, the tip of the iceberg though being my grandmother dying which completely devestated me. But I've read so many of your posts and I feel like I know you all. If some one would let me know when and where that would be awsome! It would be nice to compare notes with people who've dealt with Stupis ASS UHC! Sorry do I sound bitter>? ~Erin

hello kristen... DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!! about 4 years ago i had uhc and they denied me, i appealed them twice and still they denied me. i truly believe everything happens for a reason and when it is the right time for you it will happen. i felt all the same feelings, why everyone else and not me?... well in them 4 years a lot happened i met my best friend, my love, my everything ( we are getting married on june 22) he loves me for me, the real me. i got a new job in november of last year that had bcbs health ins. and started the process all over again and i had surgery a couple weeeks ago, on may 23. my time finally came, as will yours...don't lose hope, but in the mean time take care of yourself and keep looking towards brighter days...Ti...

I am also very sorry to hear that, but like Shel said, don't give up! There is always a way if you want it bad enough!!! I know you can do it. HUGS Kristin L.