A Year Ago Today
I was just thinking today how relative 'time' is depending on which side of the bench you are. When we are waiting for surgery time is slow, never ending and we only dream of when we can feel what post surgery patients feel. Now that I am one year out I find that 'time' has flown by and that I still catch my breath when I realize how far and how many changes this surgery has brought me.
This time last year I gave into my fears.....fear of dying on the operating table with my heart issue, fear of having complications, fear of not succeeding, fear of never being able to pay this debt off and I also allowed myself to have hope and faith.....in surviving, in succeeding, in allowing myself to believe etc. Opposing emotions for sure, but we all have them. Facets of our personalities that are yet strong and weak, fearful yet confident. This journey is not for the feeble mind. It takes courage and selfworth and perseverence. I am still working on perseverence and will be doing so for the rest of my life.
This surgery I can honestly say gave me hope that I can really do this and that realization is just recent. I finally feel I belong in this body size and it took me 45 years to get here. The journey like every other journey is there to help us grow and change and we need 'time' to live that journey in order to achieve our goals and dreams. So today on my one year surgery anniversary, I wanted to reflect on the notion of 'time' and to give others hope in that their time will also arrive. 
Thanks to all of you who have been there for me through this past year. Your support is what gets me through my tough days.
Brenda B, HW 328 PreSW 298 CW 156 Goal 165
AT GOAL..................NORMAL BMI! DOING THE HAPPY DANCE
Congrats on all your achievements, the weight loss, but also, and I think it is as important if not more, on all the thinking changes, the new habits, perseverence and courage to go through all thoses changes. I wish you a long and happy life with your new you !!
((Hugs))
Diane
