You know, when you are online, it's easier to sound levelheaded in writing! My friends have noted how well I am coping... but days like today, where I felt so sick that I stayed home and slept most of the day... it's hard to "cope". I am just so miserable but I try not to point it out or talk incessantly about it. If my physical symptoms are from depression, fine... lets treat it, but antidepressants make me feel worse (either coma-type fatigue, increaesd moodiness, suicidal thought one one med, and either insomnia or increased exhaustion depending on the med). Really, all that is left is Prozac. I will probably see my psychiatrist. He suggested Prozac but I wanted to give Zoloft another shot. I'm sorry that I am such a downer, but I need support! I know the importance of a support group and helping patients feel better! I am not "too strong" to admit that I need to talk about it! I just don't want to talk about it with my dad all the time. It's hard on him to see me so sick... and that I live in another state, he can't come over and help me when/if I need it. He will fly down for surgeries and I do go to visit him twice a year, but I know he wishes he was here more often. So... I do talk about things with him, but I can hear the saddness in his voice. I need you guys to let me talk about it and keep me sane! It's hard to keep all those frustrations and depressive feelings in!

I think your medical studies are probably helping you right now as you try to figure this out. It seems like you're systematically thinking through and working through the issues with your doctors, you just wish (and we all wish with you) that the answers would come soon. I can't even begin to imagine all that you're going through. I think of Frances too, and you're both in my prayers. I really hope you find help and relief soon!! You need it!!!

My new week......I was so happy that I could put last week behind me. I thought I'd go to mushies for a few days just to get back on track. So for today.... B: Fat Free yogurt L: F/F Cottage Cheese w/ sugar free peaches D: Part Skim Ricotta Cheese w/ a pinch of shredded part skim mozz. cheese w/ sauce. S: 1/2 cup salt free pretzels Lotsa Water......

Good for you.....and I totally agree with the wine. I can sneak in an extra snack and still lose, but if I can eat really healthy, with a glass or two of wine, and hit a plateau. My father used to always tell us that wine was used to help people gain weight - we thought he didn't want us to drink, but I think he was on to something!!

UGH..... Why do I hear the sound of a meowing jealous cat with her claws out? Anyone would be proud of what you've done and how happy and healthy you are! Good God....they really really need to get a life.