What would you do?

First of all, APOLOGIES to my peeps here. I know I should keep quiet and I will, but not right now. Sue, I'm assuming you're talking to me, since it came to my mailbox. Yes, that quote was mine and it was a JOKE. Trying to lighten the mood of one of my friends who is struggling with an important decision. When you eavesdrop on conversations that you have no business listening to, you're bound to take them out of context. What is really annoying is that now we have you two here, when what our friend needs is to solve her problem. She's trying to work the tool SHE ALREADY HAS. Your time would be better spent going after newbies. If and when we want information on the DS we'll come find you. I'm happy with my band. I'm not fat and I'm not miserable. Have a nice journey.

1-How nice of you to make jokes about people who have had procedures that are not the same as the one you have chosen. Because so many people here accuse others of committing that very same sin. 2--There is a legal construct that says that "the eyes cannot commit a trespass." I cannot "eavesdrop" to a post on a public board. You want to tell a secret? Send a PM. 3--Yes, your friend is trying to work the tool she has. That is ALWAYS the advice from the Bandistas. They leave out the part--the honest part--about how many banded people are still truly miserable and truly fat and blaming themselves. (Well, of course, they have the help of the Bandistas who keep lecturing that if they'd only "work their tool." Yeah...Right. Read the stats.) 4--I don't need your help deciding how to allocate my time. I'm a happy old retired woman with all the time in the world. And it's fun to think of how your tax dollar is helping to pay for that ride. 5--I'm not selling the DS or any other procedure. I'm just telling people about how bad the band can be. 6--If you are happy with your band and not fat, you are in the minority. It's in the numbers. Sue

Sue, get over it. You had a bad experience with the band, just as all WLS pts have had bad experiences with all WLS. I am having a problem now as I knew could happen with anyone from the very beginning. I am disappointed, but I am not angry and I am doing something proactive rather than ***** and play the blame game. If I get the sleeve, there will be no part two. It is not something that I would ever do. I will stay fat and yes I am happy. I have a family that loves me just the way I am and I intend to enjoy my life to the fullest fat or thin.

Until you get to a place where you can see, and accept and maybe even admit that your original procedure choice did not serve you well...and that it was not YOUR fault that it didn't work...then you are still a band-victim. I feel bad for you. My family loved me when I was MO, too. Only now they ENJOY the fact that they are not dragging a disabled person along with them...and I enjoy not being a burden to them. We get to be seated in the restaurant when there is a booth and we don't have to wait for a table. My husband doesn't have to give over half his airline seat to me. I am able to accompany them to fun activities. I don't have to be dropped off at the door because I can't make the hike from the parking lot. My hairdresser can even raise the chair without getting leg cramps!! And, I'm more fun for them to be around. (Or so they tell me.) Morbidly obese people CANNOT live life to the fullest. The fact that they are MO means that they are dying. That is the antithesis of living...to the fullest or otherwise. that's sad. Sue

Sue, I have never for one moment blamed myself for anything having to do with banding. I am not a guilt ridden person, nor will I allow anyone to lay a guilt trip on me. It just won't happen. I have never experienced any of the things in your second paragraph. I enjoy my life regardles of how much I weigh. I go to the beach, go swimming, am not ashamed to be seen in a bathing suit. I go out dancing and have more energy than folks half my age. I will certainly enjoy the way I look as I lose weight, but that is universal for everyone. So please don't speak for me because you have no idea about my life or how I live it. Don't be sad, it really is a waste of life.

"I have never experienced any of the things in your second paragraph. I enjoy my life regardles of how much I weigh. I go to the beach, go swimming, am not ashamed to be seen in a bathing suit. I go out dancing and have more energy than folks half my age. I will certainly enjoy the way I look as I lose weight, but that is universal for everyone." ~~~~ Oh. I got my LapBand because I was MO and life wasn't easy and my obesity was killing me and the only way to pretend that wasn't happening was to live in denial...not my forte. I had wls for reasons of health...FEELING better...LIVING longer...BREATHING better...not just "enjoying the way I look" as weight comes off. I have trouble remembering to factor in those who say their lives were delightful. It makes me wonder why anyone with a perfectly wonderful life would have ANY surgery they didn't need. Different strokes, I guess. But I really do hope you get past his with whatever results you are seeking. Sue

I really don't know Phyllis. If I were in your place I am not sure I would stay with the band. I have had a love, hate relationship with mine lately. I just can't seem to get those pounds falling the way I want them too. I have lost a good bit of weight but not all I want to lose. Maybe it is time for you to move on to something new... Good luck in which ever you choose.

Thanks for your support Marcia. I just don't do well with uncertainty. It makes me want to eat. I just want to think positively and just do what I need to do and I think all will fall into place. I hope that you will continue to succeed with the band. It does take a lot of patience. I would be willing to be patient if I had confidence that it was going to work without further complications, but at this point I don't.

Ahhhh...Phyllis, I wish I had some words of wisdom for you too.........part of me wants to say....you can do it with the band, but the realsitic part of me knows that you've had less success with it than you would like. Couple that with the fact that you have these new problems (hernia, etc) and your growing lack of confident feelings, I have a feeling you are leaning more toward the sleeve all the time. I know so little about the sleeve, that I'd be the last one to advise you, but definitely ask Bridget as she's living it and hopefully having great success. I love my band, but if I were doing it right now, I too think I would look into the sleeve.....I knew nothing about it then and it really does sound like a viable solution. I most assuredly would not want to see you get that you-know-what cause it seems to cause snippiness among other things....and if you got like that, we'd have to come to your house and slap the crap out of you!!! What ever happens, I'm sure you and your doctor will make the best decision for you and no matter what, you know we'll all be here cheering you on every step of the way. Hang in there, things will settle into place and the right decision will become apparent. Love and hugs, Anita

That is a tough one Phyllis. I can only tell you what I did. I had my band repositioned after the slip and have had no further problems. That said, there was no hernia issue for me. And, I had already lost all my weight so I knew the band would work for me. Talk to your doctor. I know you will come to the right decision for you. Good luck. Vicki