Irritation with the Mainland?

I try to lurk on the mainland to help encourage newbies and those who are struggling, but lately it seems that some of the more experienced bandsters (not on this board) are preaching to those who are struggling. When I was fighting through stalls and plateaus and general funks I would have left OH and said the heck with it if I'd been fussed at. Is anyone else as irritated as I am?

I haven't been over there much lately, so I don't know exactly what you're referring to. But yes, some people get a little preachy. I do, however, get frustrated with brand new people, just a few days post-op eating pizza or something. The fact that they just had weight loss surgery seems lost on them. I find myself NOT posting though, because I don't want to come off as a know-it-all. I do remember what it was like, and it was hard at times, but not impossible to follow the post-op diet. I do think some people need to soften their tone. Instead of helping, it actually drives the newbies away.

I've seen people who arent even banded yet lecture to the newly post op about having self control. Its pure ridiculousness. (Lecturing in general.) If someone is doing something dangerous many try to help ...but most times people know when they arent following guidelines....why heap more guilt upon them? Either they are going to listen to their docs or not...if they arent they certainly arent going to listen to any of us.

I don't have any problem with kicking butt when someone is doing something truly dangerous, but who am I to lecture on what people should and shouldn't eat. If people truly don't have a clue about the best choices, give them some ideas, not:no no: I try to stay out of it if the worst thing they are doing is causing them to not lose weight, let it go, but if people are doing harmful things, then I think a stern but polite warning should be given. I love the post where successful people share what they do without getting holier than thou.

I share the same thoughts as Nancy. My fave was the person who was 3 DAYS post op and was driving by a KFC and had to go in! They only ate mashed potatoes so "do you all think I hurt my band???" Honestly, I have very little tolerance for that. But since I know that about myself I never replied to those posts b/c I know I would come off sounding like a major b***h. So, I did what my mother said "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all". There are a few people on the main board who would do well to heed those words.

Wendy, I hate it when someone preaches, what they THINK, is the way some, else should go! I'll be out 4 years tomorrow, and I will NEVER know all there is to know about my band, or totally figure it out! All we can do, is share our experiences with them. I have to say, some of the newbies, don't have a CLUE, what they just did, having the band! They sound like they want us to tell them, whatever they have done, is just fine! They don't want lectures! Like, "I'm 3 days post op, and I ate just one piece of pizza. did I hurt anything???" Hello!~

I'm just not one to lecture.....honestly, I didn't get to be 100 pounds overweight by pretending to have all the answers. I did a lot of lurking....then a lot of losing.... and I actually didn't cheat (almost at all) for the first year. It's what I had to do for me. I think everyone has to find their way - some will, and some wont. As for everyone here on the Island, I can't think of a group of people I'd rather share my successes with! I don't like the *****iness on the mainland.....and I still believe that if you have nothing nice to say, it nice to say nothing unless it's sincere and helpful!!

It is very irritating when a poster lectures or puts down someone for a choice they made. We have all made bad choices at one time or other. I guess all we can do is lead by example. I try really hard to do that - hopefully I'm successful at it!

I prefer to educate, not lecture. If someone lectures me, I tend to ignore them. If someone educates me, I listen (I may not agree, but I listen). I've been mean before but, usually, the original poster comes back and thanks me for my brutal honesty. I try to feel out the situation and see which way I need to respond. But I won't hesitate to jump on someone who I feel is doing something not nice to others.