Lunch with mom

Mom and I went out to lunch today. She's never been overly supportive of my surgery and continually points out what I do "wrong". She and I weigh the same and our differences are that she loves bread and pasta, I am a sweet eater. So I'm telling her that I'm going into the doc on friday to have him tighten the band and she tells me that I need to make better food choices...as she's eating a ham club sandwich! I said, sure, I probably would lose all my weight by now if I ate dry freaking chicken, broccoli w/out butter and no bread or pasta. I make good choices, I know I'm not perfect but what rings in my head is my surgeon saying I should be able to eat anything I want, just less of it. So why do I have to choke my food down to lose weight because it's so bland and dry. Can you tell I've eaten that way before on my past diets!! So, she begins to tell me that someone she knew was looking into it and she told them that they needed deep psychological counseling because: #1: I can't drink carbonation (I don't care....I only drank 1 soda a week anyway preband) #2: I can't eat bread! (OMG. the world is going to end if I don't eat bread! I don't miss it!) #3: There are so many foods I can't eat. Well...I can't eat brownies...that's a good thing! I can't eat donuts...that's a good thing! I can't eat dry, tough meat...who wants to do that anyway?! I don't see that this surgery changed me all that much other than I'm more fussy about what I eat and I want it to be good and I want to be able to eat w/out problems. My mom doesn't have a clue...she went and told someone I had lost 40lbs...ummm try 86!! See...I don't even credit for that! Thanks for the vent....

You know Karen I think I would avoid all conversation concerning the lapband, food, diets etc with your mom. And........ I would not be going to lunch, dinner or breakfast with her either. If she starts talking about food/lapband cut her off. It's a hard thing to do... our mothers are our mothers after all... but you can do it. It's just not worth the stress. Sharyn

Karen, I really think, our families, are oblivious to our great losses! Really! I saw an Aunt, I only see maybe, once a year, and she looked at me, after I had reached GOAL, and said," Sherry, you look good, keep up the great job losing!" She has to weigh 250, if she weighs a pound! I just looked at her! I understand, honey! Just ignore what she says about your weight! YOU, know what you've accomplished! GREAT job, losing!

86 pounds is a lot of weight to have lost and I love your attitude about not caring about bread and brownies. also, it you're adding a little butter to broccoli or a couple of other things that make the foods that you eat taste good, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. This is a lifetime thing - and you may lose a 'little' slower because of the 'extras' but you'll keep that weight off. I know this is easier said than done (I just spent five days w/ my mother) but try not to let what other people say get to you. You know you're doing great and that's what counts!

Karen - I am sorry that your mother isn't as supportive as you would like her to be. Be proud of what you have accomplished even if she can't share in your joy.

Hi Karen one of the things that I am having a hard time with...WHY we (me included) need to continually seek the approval of our parents...I am MUCH older than you and I still marvel at how I "freek" when I am thinking my parents are NOT going to give their approval....I am nearly 55 and I still am trying to win Mom's approval... I hope that you can figure it out...and teach me to as well...

I'm sorry that you Mom is not supportive. 86 pounds is one he** of a lot of weight! Any time you need a pat on the back just come to us! We know how much you have accomplished!

When you are around unsupportive people, it's really best not to talk about the surgery. I didn't tell my own mother until I was 2 yrs out, and just the other day she said she was glad I never told her before I had it b/c it would have worried her. I am lucky she's not very critical and doesn'****ch everything I eat, though.