Advising a Friend

A friend (well, acquaintance really) in Mcihigan just underwent VSG surgery. 

She has turned to me for some advice and I am a bit concerned. She is convinced that the surgery removed the "hunger center" of her stomach and that she won't feel hungry ever again. Granted, I'm not a VSG - er, but I know full well that a whole lot of "hunger" lies between our ears. 

She went thru a period pre op that she called her "food funeral." In other words, she binged just before going on her pre weight loss surgery regimen. This concerns me too - although maybe it was just "different" than how I thought of it all pre op. 

Anyway my question is this: How would you advise a new post opt, knowing what you know at YOUR stage of the journey?

Well Lynn, we all know that the mentality department of what got us to WLS is what your friend seems to be exhibiting. . .  looking for ways to shed the weight without having to change too much for any real length of time. . . at least that was it for me. . .  thinking I could go back to the old ways of life once I lost some weight. . . 

Anyway, to answer your question, many people either consciously or unconsciously think of our surgery as a fix-all and those are generally the ones we read about wanting or needing a revision down the line. . .  if nothing changes, then guess what, nothing changes. . .  I would tell your friend, what I say at the groups, maximize your weightloss and use that time to make changes that will be with you throughout the rest of your life, because we MUST change things or we will in all likelihood have some of the same issues we had before WLS.  A healthy lifestyle has to be incorporated and concentrated efforts put forth to make it a lifestyle.  The people who are 3+ years and still within 10 to 15% of their goal, are those that made and continue to make adjustments based on what they know to be the solution to maintence. . .  things like logging food, some form of regular activity that keeps you active and not eating more than you need to live, as well as limiting those things that are not in our best interests.  Continuing to look for new ways to challenge ourselves, for example just reading Maura's post on what she is doing to challenge herself. . .  of course, it is to the level and ability of each individual, but what I am saying is we have to be actively engaged in and willing to do the work, because changing a lifetime of ways is not easy, it is much easier to fall back into old familiar patterns. 

The bottom line is they are in charge of their journey and another thing I've learned is that we can make suggestions, but very often, people in the earlier stages are of a mindset that somehow they are different. . .  just suggest the things that have worked for you and if you are met with resistance, the time may come when they seek you out for your experience.

Laureen

Hi Lynn,

Everything Laureen said is true.  My sister had the lap band done a few years ago, but didn't attend support groups post-op, or make the necessary diet changes for a WLS patient.  Plus, she did zero exercise.  No noticeable weight loss happened, and now she's looking into the sleeve.  I still don't think she's ready for the lifestyle changes.  

My best suggestion, in answer to your question, is to suggest she consult a nutritionist connected with her surgery.  I appreciate the way Barix operates, because at every post-op appointment the nutritionist meets with me.  

I hope this all makes sense.

Hugs,

Trish

I agree with you all. It is a lifestyle change. I had my RNY for a different reason. I had diabetic kidney disease & the surgery could help my diabetes so my kidneys could begin filtering normally again. The side effect was weight loss. I was told to expect to lose & keep off ~ 70 pounds if I followed their instructions. I asked how much could I lose and was told 152 pounds. Wow- didn't know I was that fat. Holy crap!! Well, I am just over 3 years out. I used my tool to its max and lost and have kept off 150 pounds. We have to remember it is a tool. How we use the tool is our decision. It is a shame that some see it as the easy way out and that no effort on the patients part is needed. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done and I do it every day. Other addictions are easier- you don't have to have drugs or alcohol, but we all need food every day. That makes our journey that much more difficult. My surgeon said it best - He asked me if I could jump off this cliff to a new lifestyle and never look back. I did and it was worth it. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
-Sara

I had my RNY 41/2 years ago and when I was out for a year,. I remember my Doc told me this is not a quick fix. It help you get to losing weight but now you have to watch or you could gain your weight back. You have to watch or think of what your putting in your mouth. I was doing pretty good but then all of a sudden I notice I was gaining weight and that's when I decided I am not letting myself go back to being fat again. I had gotten so many compliments that help me to think before I let myself get heavy again. I can't really eat that much but I can pick with no problem. I didn't go through having this surgery to gain it all back. I know it can happen. I know some people got the other one where they take out part of your stomach but it was to late for me I already had mine schedule.I hear you only gain 5% of your weight back.