Hidden demon haunting me

jackie M.
on 8/9/12 8:39 am - Sunbury, PA
RNY on 10/10/12
 As time goes by and I lose my Pre-surgery weight, I hear this demon in the back of my head that was put there from when I was married to my first husband when I was fit, healthy and trim. You look like a **** who are you dressing up for, et****il the beatings kicked in....  Before I met and married him, I always dressed nice, had my hair done and wore very little make up...  after a while, I saw his true side....  But those words of his just started coming back..

Sitting across from my current husband and support, I asked him this off the wall stupid question.....  What if you don't like me when I get the weight off?  He looked at me in shock on that question.  He said he'd love me even if my skin turned to purple with pink polka-dots.  He also said, he's been with at my best and been with me at my worse and seeing how we are still together, nothing will tear us apart.  I am so lucky that I have him in my life, even though he does have a warped sense of humor at times.  His younger daughter said, don't worry mom, we'll help you through it...  
Laureen S.
on 8/9/12 12:10 pm - Maple Shade, NJ
Sounds like some good insight into the "demons" that often plague people with "addicition" issues, obesity is generally a form of addiction and often times there is an underlying issue within why we became obese, that issue or issues, if not dealt with will often trip us up and so if you have support and a place to talk through your demons, hopefully, you will achieve the desired results and maintain it for the duration of your life. . .  it's not easy and as I've learned, it requires ongoing work. . .  good luck tomorrow. . . the prep for the tests is more of a pain then the actual test, because you'll be asleep. . . 


My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . .  It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . .  Laureen

"Success is a journey, not a destination."  Ben Sweetland

jackie M.
on 8/9/12 12:38 pm - Sunbury, PA
RNY on 10/10/12
 I know it is....   Took the 4 dulcolax at 11am today, still NOT pooping...  insteading of waiting the 6 hrs for the YUCK Gatorade and Miralax mixture.... I'm saying YUCK on Gatorade... I hate that stuff

Patricia R.
on 8/11/12 10:00 am - Perry, MI
 I wish I had read this before your test prep.  When I had my colonoscopy, I mixed the Miralax with Crystal Light lemonade.  I can't drink Gatorade post-op.

If you have never had therapy to help you process that abusive marriage, it might be a good idea, especially since you are having them related to upcoming weight loss surgery.  We go through a myriad of changes, physically, hormonally, emotionally, as we lose the weight.  Therapy helps tremendously.

Keep posting.  You're doing great.

Hugs,
Trish

Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
96179

jackie M.
on 8/11/12 4:01 pm - Sunbury, PA
RNY on 10/10/12
 Thanx....   My current hubby is helping me...  He is a great guy...
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