question

 hubby and I had our EKG and Ultrasounds.

While my EKG came out normal, his showed abnormalities.  He has to go for stress test now.  Can this prevent him from getting the surgery?  He has worked so hard to get to his pre surgery weight and surpassed it by a few lbs.  I am already feeling a bit bad cause I have my global fee now and all I have to do is meet the surgeon and he isn't. 

How do I get over these feelings of guilty and stuff?  Part of me doesn't want the surgery because of his roadblock but then I would be miserable....  Big part of me wants the surgery but I would feel guilt for being able to have it...

Can anyone HELP me out???

Just because it showed abnormalities, I've heard more than one doctor say that EKGs can be faulty, so they are probably wanting to be sure there is nothing seriously wrong that would cause a problem surgically, but you'd be wise to talk it over with your surgeon and not sure of your's and hubby's age, but I was 51 when I started the process and had to have a stress test as part of my pre-op. 

As for your guilt, only you can feed that part of yourself. . .  maybe try reminding yourself that you need to get and stay healthy and that hopefully, he will be joining you on this very same path, perhaps a little later, if they find some things that need addressing, but either way, your health is important and can, no matter what, be of value to helping your husband.

Best wishes, Laureen

 I'm 51 and he is 54.  He needs a stress test.   

We got our taxes and I can get my global fee paid now.   so that means prob sept or oct.    
All these feelings anxious, nervous, guilt for his roadblock... mannnnn.....

Thank you....  

Best I can do is to help him stay on track...  Maybe this will be better cause with me being a big sissy with pain, I am really going to need him and it will give me time to heal before he has his surgery and then I have to help him while he heals....

I really needed that boost.  Thank you  very much Laureen...

My cardio recommended a stress test pre op, and I was so afraid that it would disqualify me! Intact, she came out saying clearly that I was a GOOD candidate for surgery based on the results.

It's a better safe than sorry thing!

You don't say what your husband's reaction to all this has been.  Has he been able to share your joy, in spite of his own concerns? 

My EKG showed something abnormal too and it scared the heck out of me.  At that point, I had a date and had cleared most hurdles.  But I had the stress test and had the surgery a few months later...after a final scare of not being able to have the sleep study till about a week or so prior .  

Tell him to hang in there and reassure him that he's yours, no matter what.

I understand the feelings of guilt.  Sort of like survivor's guilt.  But know that, while you are on a journey together as spouses, you are also each on your own journey and have to follow your own path toward what's best for you.  Your wellness can only help him, as well as you.  You'll have more energy and confidence to help him to succeed as you begin to lose weight and feel better.

We who have been dealing with obesity through so much of our lives tend to take on pain and guilt that doesn't belong to us.  You deserve good health.  You deserve to be happy.  You deserve the extra years that this surgery will give you.

Continue to post about your feelings and struggle, and attend support groups if you can.  That can only help.

Lisa

 He is looking at as is it isn't that big of a deal.  But we both talked about it.  He is happy for me and we both agree that instead of rushing into his surgery right aways, this would give me time to heal before his surgery would get here.  

I am so glad that we are doing this together. He told me that he will continue to do what he has been doing and I will help him stay on track.

I paid  my global fee today. so it's now a matter of time till i meet the surgeon and get my date.  I have knee surgery Aug 15th.  Need the knee working right to walk, play Wii sports, Smurf Dance party, etc to help me with my weight loss.  When I was up at GMC paying my global fee, I took a peek in on the scales.  I lost 3 lbs since Monday.  That is 27 since new years.  

First, put your own oxygen mask on.  Know what I mean?  Let go of the guilt and do what is best for you.  As for your husband's situation, take one step at a time.  Before my surgery I had an abnormal EKG which led to my having a stress test.  My stress test came out abnormal, and that led to an angiogram.  That came back fine, and I had my surgery as scheduled.   Don't worry about the "what ifs." 

Don't be miserable by putting a roadblock in your way that you don't have to.

That's my best advice.