Happy 3rd Surgiversary to me!!!!!!!

musicaldonna
on 6/24/12 7:51 am - PA
Hello to all my OH friends,

     Today is my 3rd surgiversary.  For some odd reason I have been feeling very down today and wasn't going to post.  I am upset because of the 30 lb weight gain I have had since losing my job.  There is a chair full of clothes that are too small for me that I haven't put away yet.  Every time I look at that chair I feel defeated.  Time to focus in on the good that has come out of my WLS.  Today I am 75 lbs. lighter than I was 3 years ago.  My health is much better and so is my relationship with food.  I can only imagine how fat I would be now if it hadn't been for the surgery.  I know that part of my feeling down is due to not having found a job.  It just is not a good time to be a teacher and out of work  I have started putting in applications for non-teaching jobs.

     Through the OH board and Barix I have met some really awesome people who have shared their journeys with me.  I am grateful to all of you.  This past year has not been an easy one for me but I am still here and plugging away.  Without WLS I know that food would have been my major coping strategy these past 15 months.  I am back to exercising and eating healthy again.  The tool  continues to work for me if I am willing to use it correctly.  God this is so different from my posting at 1 year out.  This is the nitty gritty of life.  This is not a sprint and I am in it for the long haul.  All I need to do is take it one day at a time, reach out for help and be positive.  I know that I am on the right path.  I need to have faith and trust that "all will be well".

     Thanks for all the support.  Take care.

Love, Donna
Patricia R.
on 6/24/12 8:10 am, edited 6/24/12 8:10 am - Perry, MI
 Hi Donna,
 Happy Surgiversary.  You can relose the weight.  I am in the process of shedding some regain.  

One year out, I relapsed on alcohol and went back to some old eating patterns.  I had a 45 pound regain.  For a long time, I felt like a total loser, between my alcoholism and my weight.  When I got sober, I made a promise to myself to improve my eating, one day at a time.  I do not set weight loss goals.  I simply try to make the best choices I can for my body.  I have good days.  But in the past two plus years since I got sober, I have been able to have more good days than bad days.  

I have managed to lose about 30 pounds of my regain.  That has been such a relief.  I know it could be more, if I exercised.  That has been a challenge.

I'm not sure where you live, but I vividly remember losing my first teaching position in 1991.  I finally went to Philadelphia, which was fourteen years of Hell, and four years of heaven.  It took me fourteen years to land in a school where it was heaven.  

Hang in there.

Hugs,
Trish






Seek always to do some good, somewhere. Every man has to seek in his own way to realize his true worth. You must give some time to your fellow man. For remember, you don't live in a world all your own. Your brothers are here too.
Albert Schweitzer
96179

musicaldonna
on 6/25/12 12:41 am - PA
Trish,

     Thank you for your good wishes.  Good luck on your sinus surgery today.  I also have had more good days than bad since WLS.  Yesterday was just a low one for me and I decided that I need to stop being paralyzed and start doing something - anything - so that I don't get stuck.  Luckily this week is pretty full with positive activity for me.  Just for today I will try to be as positive as possible.
bvohl
on 6/24/12 8:56 am
Donna,

Happy Surgiversary to you! I just celebrated my 3 yr on the 3rd, so I can definitely empathize with your struggles as far as weight gain goes. Just take it day by day and realizing that this is a life long fight that we will have! I know, it sucks but it is what it is!!

As far as the job situation goes, I know for a fact that there will be a couple of vacancies in my building. Several teachers have retired. If you want info let me know. I know we have talked about this before but I am bringing it up again.

Please come out to support group when you can! I would love to see you!!

Love and hugs,

Beth
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musicaldonna
on 6/25/12 12:44 am - PA
Beth,

     I know that you understand what I am going through.  I am not certified in Jersey so I don't think that I can even apply for any positions.  I am going to try to get to July's 1st Saturday.  I did get to this past Wed. support group.  In reading over my journal yesterday I realized that I didn't even acknowledge my 2nd surgiversary last year.  At least I am better this year.  Today is a better day for me and I need to stop being paralyzed.  This week has a lot of good activity in it for me so I won't have as much time to dwell on the negativity.  Thank you for your support.
Laureen S.
on 6/24/12 10:49 pm, edited 6/24/12 10:49 pm - Maple Shade, NJ
Donna,

Congratulations on your surgiversary! You have much to be proud of, you worked hard and then life slam dunked you and you did what those of us who for so long used food as a crutch, do! The main difference is you NEVER gave up, you may have slipped, but then you reached out, shared your struggles with others and recommited to working your tool in the manner it was meant to be used and so I've no doubt you will successfully lose weight. As dear Shauna once said, we are "successing" which means, when we struggle, it is not that we haven't succeeded, it's that we're not done and that successing is an ongoing journey. Detours are often tools to aid us in finding new ways to get to the same place.

As someone, who is very outspoken about my own journey, which is one of struggles because there are times I just don't do all that I need to, I know how you feel about your regain, but I can tell you, as you stated, and others too, I am losing again, and I am losing because I am not doing what I did so often in the past, I am not throwing up my arms and saying, eff it, it's useless and I'm not worth it, instead I am saying, I can do this, others have done it and I am making more of the right choices today then I was for a while, this journey is one that we can redirect the course anytime we choose and you, like me, have chosen to redirect in a more positive fashion!!!

I wish you successing on this and all your endeavors!

Love, Laureen


My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . .  It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . .  Laureen

"Success is a journey, not a destination."  Ben Sweetland

musicaldonna
on 6/25/12 12:46 am - PA
Laureen.

     What can I say to my biggest cheer leader.  Thank you for being there for me this past year and encouraging me when I was down.  Your support has been a life line to me many times.  Hope that you enjoy your time down in Florida.  Take care.
lynnc99
on 6/25/12 9:40 pm
 Donna, I am late to the party but want to celebrate your 3 years! Yes, look at the GOOD in this journey - without a doubt you have had unusual stresses to deal with, but you know where to get the support you need when you are ready.

Keep in touch!!! Love you!
musicaldonna
on 6/26/12 1:54 am - PA
Hey Lynn,

     Thanks for remembering me.  Sunday was a really bad day but yesterday and today are much better.  Have already been on the bike for 6 minutes (225 reps) and have taken all my vitamins etc.  Got a chance to speak with some friends yesterday which was nice.  I know that I have a lot of people pulling for me and I have to stay positive.  I do believe that I will be working soon but it may not be a full time teaching position.  I still have 13 weeks unemployment left and I am going to use that time to apply for jobs at Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Barnes and Noble etc.  I have lots of people praying for me and I really do believe that this is where God wants me for right now.  (not to sound to preachy)  Hope that all is well with you in Florida and that things work out for Mike.  Take care.

Love, Donna 
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