Wednesday Roll Call
Beth, re: the confidence thing...it's a huge process...and you are doing a whole lot right. Here are a few random thoughts....
When you talk to her, emphasize the good stuff, just as you are. (And of course that doesn't mean letting her get away with much!)
Keeping her active in activities like scouting helps to round things out - so it's not all about the schoolwork. She sounds like she has good frinedships and will certainly get to do lots of fun things in scouts. (Sarah stayed in thru 8th grade and I LOVE GSUSA!)
Helping her prepare for tests as you did this past week obviously paid off. It WILL help her confidence to get better grades and it will also help you to know exactly what she has mastered, where she is struggling, etc. She very likely doesn't trust herself yet that she can get a good grade again (in her eyes, maybe once was just a fluke!)
This one will choke you....while I didn't "help" my kids with homework every single night...I DID sit with them while they did it. I paid bills, read the paper, read a book, or whatever, but I was nearby when they had questions. Sarah was pretty independent, but Bryce? Let's just say he NEEDED to know that I was there. Very smart kid but if I wasn'****ching, his focus and work completion would have been absolute minimum. I knew that the homework got done. I knew where he had questions and was able to help if he needed it. He was a "testy" kid and I am glad to this day that I did it. Now for the choky part...I did it until he was thru middle school. Every day, for the most part. Yes I got tired of it. Yes I felt like we should be able to move on. But better safe than sorry. I'm glad I did it this way.
Of course you know this one and it sounds like you are doing it also....the teacher partnership piece. It sounds like Deanna can focus when she is reminded to do so. At this point, I think if she had a small nonverbal cue from her teacher (like a thumbs up or whatever) that she needed to tune in, it may help. Is the teacher suspecting ADD? Are you? Often, as you well know, ADD can accompany and compound learning difficulties, butI would suggest a very thorough workup to explore that possibility. Try less invasive strategies first, and see what kind of results happen.
So in more than a nutshell....you are doing a lot right. She needs to experience a good base of school success to trust herself enough to have the confidence you want her to have. And that can be a catch 22, because the lack of confidence can undermine the school success. So plug away at it, mom!!! She is on the right road!!
When you talk to her, emphasize the good stuff, just as you are. (And of course that doesn't mean letting her get away with much!)
Keeping her active in activities like scouting helps to round things out - so it's not all about the schoolwork. She sounds like she has good frinedships and will certainly get to do lots of fun things in scouts. (Sarah stayed in thru 8th grade and I LOVE GSUSA!)
Helping her prepare for tests as you did this past week obviously paid off. It WILL help her confidence to get better grades and it will also help you to know exactly what she has mastered, where she is struggling, etc. She very likely doesn't trust herself yet that she can get a good grade again (in her eyes, maybe once was just a fluke!)
This one will choke you....while I didn't "help" my kids with homework every single night...I DID sit with them while they did it. I paid bills, read the paper, read a book, or whatever, but I was nearby when they had questions. Sarah was pretty independent, but Bryce? Let's just say he NEEDED to know that I was there. Very smart kid but if I wasn'****ching, his focus and work completion would have been absolute minimum. I knew that the homework got done. I knew where he had questions and was able to help if he needed it. He was a "testy" kid and I am glad to this day that I did it. Now for the choky part...I did it until he was thru middle school. Every day, for the most part. Yes I got tired of it. Yes I felt like we should be able to move on. But better safe than sorry. I'm glad I did it this way.
Of course you know this one and it sounds like you are doing it also....the teacher partnership piece. It sounds like Deanna can focus when she is reminded to do so. At this point, I think if she had a small nonverbal cue from her teacher (like a thumbs up or whatever) that she needed to tune in, it may help. Is the teacher suspecting ADD? Are you? Often, as you well know, ADD can accompany and compound learning difficulties, butI would suggest a very thorough workup to explore that possibility. Try less invasive strategies first, and see what kind of results happen.
So in more than a nutshell....you are doing a lot right. She needs to experience a good base of school success to trust herself enough to have the confidence you want her to have. And that can be a catch 22, because the lack of confidence can undermine the school success. So plug away at it, mom!!! She is on the right road!!
Lynn,
Thanks so much for the pat on the back! I needed it! Sometimes I feel like I don't do enough, other times I feel like she relies on me too much! I figured that we were in this for the long haul....when Dee was in Kindergarten I had many conversations with her teacher. Her son had auditory processing issues, which she suspected that Dee had. We did have her tested for auditory processing almost two years ago, nothing conclusive there.
Funny that you mentioned ADD, we have suspected it for awhile now. I requested the school district to test her for that. I got a call today from the school psychologist and the test results are in, but she wants to discuss them with me in person. So, I am meeting with her on Friday after school to see what they found. I am fully expecting that they are going to tell me it is ADD. I had read an article a few months ago that says that babies that were born prematurely(which Deanna was) have a MUCH greater possibility of having ADD than full term babies.
As I said before, I also had learning issues(not as severe as Dee), but I overcame them and SO WILL SHE!! I am behind her 200%!!!!
I am COMPLETELY convinced that the self confidence issue is undermining her school success!
Thanks for your advice and friendship as always
Love, Beth
Thanks so much for the pat on the back! I needed it! Sometimes I feel like I don't do enough, other times I feel like she relies on me too much! I figured that we were in this for the long haul....when Dee was in Kindergarten I had many conversations with her teacher. Her son had auditory processing issues, which she suspected that Dee had. We did have her tested for auditory processing almost two years ago, nothing conclusive there.
Funny that you mentioned ADD, we have suspected it for awhile now. I requested the school district to test her for that. I got a call today from the school psychologist and the test results are in, but she wants to discuss them with me in person. So, I am meeting with her on Friday after school to see what they found. I am fully expecting that they are going to tell me it is ADD. I had read an article a few months ago that says that babies that were born prematurely(which Deanna was) have a MUCH greater possibility of having ADD than full term babies.
As I said before, I also had learning issues(not as severe as Dee), but I overcame them and SO WILL SHE!! I am behind her 200%!!!!
I am COMPLETELY convinced that the self confidence issue is undermining her school success!
Thanks for your advice and friendship as always
Love, Beth
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Beth, bear in mind too that auditory processing issues can present themselves in a lot of different ways. If a child isn't processing what she hears fully.....doesn't it make sense that she would have some resultant difficulty focussing on it? Just saying - be sure you are barking up the right tree, and it may be very hard to sort out.
Now the good news. One of my former students with a V-E-R-Y complicated auditoy processing language based learning disability got a Bachelor's Degree and is now a high paid web designer for the US Dept of the Interior. She travels the country doing trainings for other departments, has a great apt. in Alexandria, and is livin' the life!
Now the good news. One of my former students with a V-E-R-Y complicated auditoy processing language based learning disability got a Bachelor's Degree and is now a high paid web designer for the US Dept of the Interior. She travels the country doing trainings for other departments, has a great apt. in Alexandria, and is livin' the life!
So glad to hear! My biggest concern is that she will not be able to be an independent person who makes a good contribution to society. It is good to know that there are GREAT possibilities out there for her!
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Good morning Ida and all of PA - Ida - 8 years! WOW! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY anniversary! I hope it is a beautiful day of love and reflection for you two! :)
I am sitting at school. I am really struggling these days. Getting in here is really becoming a challenge. Already, one of my toughies started roaming the halls and got caught by another teacher and started with his mouth. We are truly at a loss. They are impossible. It has been 9 years since I have had a group this challenging, and those kids were from the projects in West Philly. Not that it really matters where they live, but I do have expectations of the parents in this neighborhood that I may not have necessarily had for the parents in the old neighborhood. sigh.....I will get through this.
I started writing this over a half hour ago - darned kids! They are now working in groups trying to review the last unit of algebra that they are going to have a surprise quiz on probably tomorrow. I am going to pist later today an excuse note that an 8th grader wrote to me as to why he did not do his homework the other day....so lame and funny at the same time!
Today, I am at school, get Molly after. Then later this evening I have my therapist appointment and then home for the evening.
Happy Wednesday all!
I am sitting at school. I am really struggling these days. Getting in here is really becoming a challenge. Already, one of my toughies started roaming the halls and got caught by another teacher and started with his mouth. We are truly at a loss. They are impossible. It has been 9 years since I have had a group this challenging, and those kids were from the projects in West Philly. Not that it really matters where they live, but I do have expectations of the parents in this neighborhood that I may not have necessarily had for the parents in the old neighborhood. sigh.....I will get through this.
I started writing this over a half hour ago - darned kids! They are now working in groups trying to review the last unit of algebra that they are going to have a surprise quiz on probably tomorrow. I am going to pist later today an excuse note that an 8th grader wrote to me as to why he did not do his homework the other day....so lame and funny at the same time!
Today, I am at school, get Molly after. Then later this evening I have my therapist appointment and then home for the evening.
Happy Wednesday all!
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