Update on Siehara.. end of Acute Partial

  Speaking of Siehara, we had our family session yesterday and in the beginning it was going very well.. I was talking, Siehara and her therapist were listening.  When her therapist asked her why she was so quiet she, of course, said she didn't know.  

Then the **** hit the fan.  First, she is worried about going back to school on Monday and what she is going to tell her classmates about where she was.  We offered suggestions that were shot down and also told her to bring it up in group today to get others' opinions.  Ok, fine.  Then, she started *****ING and I do mean *****ing about her whole phone situation.  We (her therapist and I) discussed the phone 2 weeks ago and decided that if she refrained from being sneaky and trying to get on the internet for 2 weeks that she could have calling privileges restored on her phone, but no texting.  Well, she has done that and I plan to turn it on come Monday.  

This was not good enough for Siehara (because she's a teenager and things are different than when I was a teenager and all we had was a house phone--you know back in the old days before multiple phones, caller id and call waiting.. )  She yelled at me, told me I wasn't acknowledging what she was saying.. blah blah blah.. I explained to her that I WAS acknowledging, just not agreeing with her.  Her therapist and I reminded her that the cell phone is a priviledge, not a right and she doesn't have to have it at all... we ended up extending our 45 minute session to about 90 minutes.  I wasn't sure if she should be discharged today or not, but her therapist confirmed that another week is really not going to change anything.  There are a lot of issues that came out that will need to be dealt with during their weekly sessions.  I am glad they came out, so now she knows what she needs help with.  

When we left, I wasn't sure how the rest of the night was going to go.  But, Siehara apologized to me right away.  She said she wasn't sure what happened in there.  I assured her that it was basically a lot of pent up emotions finally getting out.  I told her that if we discuss things as they come up, that kind of thing will happen less and less.  

We had a great rest of the night.. she had dinner made when I got home from the gym, too!! Love that she enjoys cooking!! 

Think about us and pray that things continue to improve. 

Sending wishful thoughts! Btw you know you had a beeper back in the day lol! 

Lisa,

I am SO happy for you that she was able to open up during your therapy session. As a parent, you never really know what is going on inside their heads until they tell you. It sounds like she (and you) are making progress, which is a good thing! It is also a step in the right direction that she apologized to you afterwards...

Siehara is a GREAT kid and you are a TERRIFIC MOM!! So pat both of yourselves on the back!!

Love you both,

Beth

Lisa I am going to say a few things to you so here it comes first of all like I tell my Heather and she is 17 here it is no where in my contract does it state that I have to provide you with a cell phone, cable TV, designer clothing including ugg boots which she does have , a laptop or a horse. yes a horse! I got her Tiki as our way of bonding which was a successful thing I would have been spending the money on dance lessons, karate lessons, therapy and such so Tiki is her outlet and she does well but its not in my contract and for some reason there are parents who seriously are afraid to say no to their children . I am not one of them when she ****** me off all of that goes and you should see how wild she gets when the phone goes.  I call her name once tell her once to do something or else.  I have had her dad take the bedroom door off made her get dressed in the bathroom hey privacy is a privilege to a degree it seems like its a game of teenagers getting away with things like I said to Heather hard as it may be for her to believe I was a teenager once so don't even try it because I wrote that book.  I am not your friend I am your mother my job is 24/7 no expiration date .  I send prayers your way for both you and Siehara and hugs its the toughest job being a parent you can't quit or resign and can't send them back where they came from no refunds in that industry or exchanges. You may want to say instead of I acknowledge what you are saying is I hear what you are saying . If it were Heather that cell phone would go and the computer would be supervised my house my rules its that simple. But seriously it was great that she had dinner ready when you got home and she excels at cooking maybe you may want to channel her in that direction seriously like cooking classes culinary skills it would be a productive time consuming thing like I do with our horses. For example while you are are work and she is done school for the day find some type of cooking class for her to take or something else she shows an interest in.

Does she have a "canned answer" for kids questions at school on Monday?

It probably won't be as bad as she fears but she needs to rehearse what she will say.

I'm glad to see she is opening up and that things are improving.

You guys are in my prayers.

 Lisa,
I hope things continue to improve, as she learns to open up more.  It's so hard to be a parent, yet a single parent at that.  You have my continued prayers.

Hugs,
Trish

Nicely done Lisa.  Different issues and problems will come and go, but you being a rock of consistency and support is the real therapy that will help her succeed.  She knows that no matter what she says or does you will be there to to hold her accountable and support her and THAT is what is really important.
Bless you.
Swede