Carrying other peoples baggage

I felt a little guilty for this but quite justified.

 

I went to a friends house for xmas dinner in which she had about 12 people there.  Since we all usually gather as the same crowd there was an exchange of gifts.  Everyone there knows I had gastric bypass.  Everyone there knows I had chemo and radiation and I am still not 100% me. 

One of the girls gave me a swiss colony package with the sausage, cheese and candy.  I immediately passed it back to her and said I can not accept this gift, it would cause me too much of a set back.  She said just have a little each day.  I told her if I was capable of controlling what I put in my mouth I would not have needed to have surgery.  Then I explained that I am up 40# due to my lymph nodes being in flare up from the treatments.  She said well at least its not 50#.  I said if I eat this it could easily be much more.  She said you will hurt my feeling if you don't accept my gift.  I said you will break me if I take it.  So I stood my ground and passed the gift to someone else. 

I am very aware of my capabilities to control my eating.  I have zero self control.  If its in my house or my car, I will eat it.  Her telling me that I would hurt her feelings is her baggage.  I made a blanket announcement to all of them, "If you are ever in doubt as to what to get for me, GET ME NOTHING". 

I refuse to watch my scale go up another pound because someone else feels I should have self control. 

Good job standing your ground Nan.

first of all that was "no" friend and she sounds like an insensitive jerk!  My motto is when I go food shopping if its not in my cart I won't buy it.  I would have said to her obviously you don't care about my feelings by gifting me this so therefore here is your "gift" back.  People like that are called sabotages.Especially when you made it known about your health .t only that but your boundaries were disrespected  I feel if you don't know what to get me please get me a gift card not to a resturant but like a american express or such and I will be more than happy to go shopping.  I hope you are feeling better and wish you a happy new year.  take care.

Nan I am super proud of you. That is a painful but super simplified example of what we do everyday. We take on other people's baggage. We let them put their needs before our own. We fear that they will not like us or withdrawal their love. What we need in the end is to love ourselves enough to always protect and put ourselves first no matter what. I am working on this in my life with my family with painful consequences but have never felt more empowered in my life. I am so proud of you, and hopeful for me.,

Wow Nan! Kudos to you for standing your ground.
I would have caved and taken the box home, and more than likely done exactly what she said,a little bit every day.

Congrats on not only knowing your limits but also maintaining them!

Wow, that is really awesome. I don't know that I would have had the courage to do that. I need to get better about doing stuff like that.