Way OT - Lost a friend

I just found out today that my dear childhood friend passed away last month from breast cancer at the age of 51.  I just happened to mention her to my mother, then googled her, expecting to find a facebook page or something, and instead found her obituary.  I had not seen her in years, but she was my backdoor neighbor and best friend from grade school through high school, and beyond.  We were in each other's weddings, but lost contact after that when she moved out of town.  We ran into each other a couple of times, but never got together to catch up.  Now she's gone.   Today, I am reminded of my own mortality.  And I am reminded how dangerous it is that I hate taking care of myself.  I have never had a mammogram; haven't had a Pap smear in 2 years; etc. etc.  I only see the doctor if something is bleeding or broken.    I'm just sharing because I don't know what to do with whatever this is I am feeling right now.  

I am so sorry for your loss.  Talk it out as much as you need to.  Better to share it than wear it.

Jill sorry to hear of the loss of your friend. Yet when you process this please make appointments to take care of yourself. I have gotten my mammograms since age 39 and I always get my paps in one year I went from a regular one to precancerous cells. I have since had to get then every 6 months but things can change so fast. Many can be treated when caught fast.

**hugs** 

Be grateful for what you had and shared, grieve for the passing of a friend.

Death comes for all of us.

Nobody gets out of this game alive.

I hope you take care of yourself better.

Best wishes,

Jill,

So sorry for the loss of your childhood friend! It is sad when our busy lives get in the way and then we take a minute to look around and realize that it has been some time since you last talked or saw someone. Then to find out that they passed and especially the way that you did I am sure you are just in shock!

As far as you taking care of yourself, it is important that you do so. You have children who depend on you and although they may be mostly grown, they still need you. My mom has been suffering with alzheimers for the last ten years but the last five have been bad. I would give anything to be able to talk to her and ask her questions about things, but with her current condition and being in a nursing home that is not possible. I guess what I am trying to say is, you NEED to take care of yourself so you can be there for your kids....take it from a former kid, I STILL need my mom and I WISH she would have taken better care of herself when she was younger. Go get that mammogram and pap smear, get a physical and take care of yourself!!!

Love and hugs,

Beth

Jill,
So sorry for your loss. I know what it's like as I lost my "forever friend" that I started out in first grade with and were close for the most part until her death. Please do take care of yourself, my friend had no insurance and could not get the medical attention she needed. If you have the medical insurance you need to take advantage of it. As stated you need to do it number one for you, and number two for your children. Where would they be without you to fall back on? As Beth said we always need our Moms. Do it for yourself,do it for them. Keep talking about your emotions here, there are many ears to listen, and support you.
(((Hugs)))) Ena

Sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry for your loss, Jill. Take all the time you need to grieve, but also make the time to take care of yourself. Make some appointments and follow through with them for yourself and those who love you. By losing all the weight that you have lost, you have taken great care of yourself. Don't leave the  all that hard work unfinished!

Take good care and be well.  :-)

Hugs,
Marianne

Jill I am so sorry to hear about you losing your friend, and about the way you found about her. It's so sad when we lose contact with someone that was so near and dear to us. I'm sure a lot of what you're feeling is regret for not keeping in touch and not knowing what she was going through, or being there for her, but life goes on for each of us, and sadly it is a fact that we can't be all things to all people.

But now that you have been reminded of your own mortality, like the others out here I would strongly encourage you to schedule a mammogram and pap test immediately. I have had issues over the past few years with cysts in my breasts and bad pap tests, but fortunately having caught both early they were taken care of, and now I'm even more aware of making sure I follow through with that type of care. Next year it's the big 'C' - colonoscopy time - not looking forward to it but again, prevention beats medication anytime.

So please, if you don't have a doctor, find one - make the appointments - really makes no sense to go through something major like weight loss surgery to become healthier,only to ignore other avenues to maintain your health as well. You go to AA meetings to maintain your sobriety, right? Consider these appointments AA for your overall health.

Hugs - Kathy

I've got a little bit of a different spin on your loss Jill.....I THINK it was a blessing how you found out.  I THINK SHE was letting YOU know about what happened to her.  Why did you "just happen" to think of her and mention her to your Mom?  after all this time, why right now??  I think you should be honored she tapped you on the shoulder from beyond.  Perhaps she wants you to take better care of yourself, perhaps she was just thinking of you.   Don't mourn the loss so much as celebrate the life ;-)  Hugs, J.