Thursday Roll Call

Good Morning PA;

Back to work today.  Yesterday having the day off to peace and quiet was nice.  Even though the house is in disarray, over the past year any days I was home it was crazy and noisy.  So to have a quiet house was really nice.  I have not experienced that in so long during the week.  I could use a couple weeks off, I'm so tired and stressed.

Today I'm working till noon, then heading to NJ to take my daughter to the cardiologist. 

After that home to sleep, I'm so tired.  Did not get to bed till almost 1am last night.

Hope you all have a wonderful day....


Ida

Ida I am glad you had a moment of sanity and quiet. so nice and so rare.

Yesterday ended up being pretty ok. My CEO now has a nickname for me Truman, I did not understand why he was calling me this and he said it was due to this qoute. " I never gave them hell, I just gave them the truth and that was hell to them" or something like that. He was not upset with me for the interaction I had with the counselor.

Had a pretty good day the rest of the day Jason came home early so we got to spend some time together. My pap is still struggling had to have a blood transfustion and is losing some of his faculties, he is saying really off the  wall things. I keep praying for him. Sent flowers to my friend and her family, I will not be at the funeral.

Today we have another CEO in the building day which always puts people on edge. I have a ophtamologist appt today as well as a therapy appt. I did give myself a black eye this morning I was blow drying my hair and wacked myself in the corner of my eye with the dryer edge. I need coffee before i do anything in the morning aparently 1/2 my injuries are in the first 30 mins of being awake deal lord.

Anyway have a nice day you guys

Nicole,
If you don't mind my asking how old is your Pap?

Continuing to pray for you and your Pap.

Ida

he is a ripe old 91

Both my MIL and my father after surgeries have both had problems getting back to normal after surgery.  It does take quite a bit of time.  Both of them had to be cathorizied for quite some time before being able to urniate on their own would kick in after surgeries....

How is your Pap doing now?

YAAAWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNN....  I am so exhausted and out of sorts.  We still don't have power.  I called PP&L this morning and they said it is an underground problem and they hope to have power restored by 11:00pm tonight.  That's what they've been telling everyone as far as timing.  I'll believe it when I see it. 

Last night, Siehara and I went to Wegman's and hung out for a few hours.  We ate dinner there and she played on the laptop while I cut coupons.  Then, we went over to the gym so she could shower.  

When we got home I found more disturbing texts on her phone.  She says that a girl at school made her text this guy and say the things she was saying to her.  I don't know if I can believe her because of her past.  I told her to report the girl today for bullying and threatening her and that I would be calling the school to talk to her guidance counselor today.  Someone has to be able to help me to help her find out why she feels that this is how to feel accepted by other people.  I am really scared for her and don't know what else to do with her. 

So, there is no normalcy in our life right now.  She lost her phone priviledges again and I have to work tonight, but don't want to leave her home alone with no power and no trust.  I'm afraid I'm going to have to quit Dress Barn because I can't trust her.  I don't want to have to do that because the extra money has been a big help.  But, what else can I do?

Working in the office now.  Hope to go home to power.  Work Dress Barn tonight and hope for a warm bed to sleep in.  She doesn't want to sleep out and it hasn't been too terrible with the extra blankets on the bed.  I just want noise and light.. UGH

Lisa I am so sorry I would be so angry if I did not hav my power back yet.

This issue with Sierhara is something that needs to be addressed ongoing in therapy and in home.  She is obviously feeling dismissed, and unloved by her father. When girls do not get what they need from the father in their life, they seek it elsewhere. And the only Male Female relationships other than family that kids see and understand is the romantic and sexual relationship between a man a woman.  I mean what kind of messages would you tell yourself that if my own father is not in the picture, then if I want a man in my life? I better be able to bring something to the table,,,and the only thing I can think of is the romantic/sexual stuff because damn does it work, It gets her all kind of male attention.

Does that make sense?? you and her therapist are having to completely reprogram how she feels about herself because of her father's absence. I will pray for you both

What you are saying totally makes sense, Nicole.  I had pulled her out of therapy because I thought she was doing ok.  Looks like we are going back.  I just don't know if Kids Peace can provide what she needs.  I'm going to have to call the woman we were dealing with and see what she says.   She did bond with her before, but she is angry that she has to go to therapy.  It is a necessity and she needs to be able to get it out of her system.   If they cannot help her there, then I will need to go elsewhere. 

I feel broken because I keep trying to help and we don't seem to be getting anywhere.  I also don't know what to do about Dress Barn because I really need the money, but don't know if I can trust her to be alone.  In one of the messages to this person she told him she had done a "little" sexually.  Did she? Or is she just telling him that? 

I'm probably also going to have to talk to Neil about overnights.  They probably should not be happening anymore when she is around because she is probably thinking about what is/or could be happening behind my bedroom door and thinking if it's ok for mom, then it's ok for me. 

I truly feel for you in dealing with an adolescent. Yes, I believe therapy helps, but when I had my son involved in it we called it "counseling" and I wasn't always in the room, so maybe he felt better about talking on topics he'd rather not have me know about. Her sexual activities may still be minimal, but it is not outside the bounds of reality that she may have had some contact with sex. Kids are exposed to soooo much sexuality in our society it would really be strange if she weren't.

With all that, the good effects of counseling help to this day. We have (even after some very difficult drug years on his part) an incredibly open and honest relationship, where we forgive one another for any hurtful comments because they are coming from honesty and love. Sometimes there are things that NEED to be said.

The loss of texting and telephone privileges are a good thing; she's shown she's not responsible for her acts, therefore is not ready for privileges. Is there another adult that can keep her company while you have to work? In this day and age, your daughter needs to be aware of how her actions effect
the entire family.

I wish you the best of luck; adolescence isn't easy for either the parent or the child.

 Good morning Ida, Nicole and the rest of PA - I had started to post yesterday on the roll call and then life got in the way - and I didn't realize that I hadn't posted until well after dinner when I was finally able to get back on to the computer to check in. 

So here I am today.  I am still in a state of struggle.  Larry and I are working through some VERY challenging things.  We will make it through and be stonger on the other side, however, when you are in the middle of it - it is HARD!!!!  I saw my psychiatrist yesterday and she is also concerned with what is happening at my house however, is quite pleased with the way I am handling myself.  I don't know about that - but I haven't gone postal - so, so far so good right?!?!

My schedule for the day is school, then therapist appointment just so that I can rehash yet again, the issues that are happening in my house, then home for the evening.

Hope your day is status quo all!