Ok I finally did it...
I picked a surgery AND my surgeon! Thank you so much to everyone who posted a recommendation for me. My surgery of choice is the RNY and my surgeon is Dr. Bonanni at Abington. I checked out a couple of places, but the reason I chose Abington is basically when I was there I got a good, warm & fuzzy feeling down in my gut. I could list for you five or six concrete reasons too, but basically it comes down to intuition. I just felt comfortable there.
I consult with Dr. Bonanni on November 17th; however his scheduler told me that his surgery schedule is booked until January 16th. I have the luxury right now of being out of wor****il the end of January. So the scheduler told me if there is a cancellation in December or the first week of January (at the latest) then I will take that spot and have surgery before I go back to work at the end of January!!!! YIKES!
If there are no cancellations, then I will have my surgery at the end of June once school lets out.
The fact that I could have surgery so soon both terrifies and thrills me all at the same time, which from reading the boards I know is normal.
My husband is very supportive and my mom and dad are trying their best. My mom has expressed that she doesn't believe in surgery to help with weight loss. I am letting her feelings put a damper on this whole experience. (Yes, I DO have a wonderful therapist that I am going to work out my "mama's girl" issues with - thanks, Jill!!!!! - ...lol!
) Basically it comes down to the fact that I want her to tell me that this is the right course of action for me, but I am going to have to settle for putting my "big girl pants on" and making that decision for myself. It's difficult for me because I am SUCH a people pleaser (again...I will be working on this in therapy:)... My whole life I have worked hard to get people to like me or tell me I'm ok or that I'm doing the right thing. Making the decision to have RNY is a whole new experience for me because I am learning (very slowly) to rely on myself and my own opinions, which is kind of cool...and painful! LOL!
Anyway, as usual with my posts, I'm not sure where I was going with this. I guess I just felt the need to share where I'm at today. Thanks everybody for reading!
Love ya lots,
Selena
I consult with Dr. Bonanni on November 17th; however his scheduler told me that his surgery schedule is booked until January 16th. I have the luxury right now of being out of wor****il the end of January. So the scheduler told me if there is a cancellation in December or the first week of January (at the latest) then I will take that spot and have surgery before I go back to work at the end of January!!!! YIKES!
If there are no cancellations, then I will have my surgery at the end of June once school lets out. The fact that I could have surgery so soon both terrifies and thrills me all at the same time, which from reading the boards I know is normal.
My husband is very supportive and my mom and dad are trying their best. My mom has expressed that she doesn't believe in surgery to help with weight loss. I am letting her feelings put a damper on this whole experience. (Yes, I DO have a wonderful therapist that I am going to work out my "mama's girl" issues with - thanks, Jill!!!!! - ...lol!
) Basically it comes down to the fact that I want her to tell me that this is the right course of action for me, but I am going to have to settle for putting my "big girl pants on" and making that decision for myself. It's difficult for me because I am SUCH a people pleaser (again...I will be working on this in therapy:)... My whole life I have worked hard to get people to like me or tell me I'm ok or that I'm doing the right thing. Making the decision to have RNY is a whole new experience for me because I am learning (very slowly) to rely on myself and my own opinions, which is kind of cool...and painful! LOL! Anyway, as usual with my posts, I'm not sure where I was going with this. I guess I just felt the need to share where I'm at today. Thanks everybody for reading!
Love ya lots,
Selena
Honey, as women, we have all been trained from infancy to be deferential to the needs of others,
and even to allow our own needs to be considered non-existent for our lives.
It's even harder to "grow up" and make the break from our parents expectations. It's all up to you,
for your own life, what you do with your life. Your parents are loving, helpful parents, but after all,
this is your life, and your future.
Keep in mind that you cannot take care of others if you are not well. You are unhappy enough that
you are actively seeking surgical help. You've found a path you are happy with. Give your parents
the hugs they need to reassure them that you are doing what is right for you, then do it.
You go, Girl!!
and even to allow our own needs to be considered non-existent for our lives.
It's even harder to "grow up" and make the break from our parents expectations. It's all up to you,
for your own life, what you do with your life. Your parents are loving, helpful parents, but after all,
this is your life, and your future.
Keep in mind that you cannot take care of others if you are not well. You are unhappy enough that
you are actively seeking surgical help. You've found a path you are happy with. Give your parents
the hugs they need to reassure them that you are doing what is right for you, then do it.
You go, Girl!!
Selena,
I am happy that you feel good about your decision and I think it is great that you are doing all the things you said, so that you can feel good about your journey. You're Mom is probably just being a Mom and afraid for you, but yes you need to put on those big girl panties and be confident in your decision, because based on what I know of you, you have put in the time and effort to research and field your options.
I do hope to see you at Barix again sometime soon.
Laureen
I am happy that you feel good about your decision and I think it is great that you are doing all the things you said, so that you can feel good about your journey. You're Mom is probably just being a Mom and afraid for you, but yes you need to put on those big girl panties and be confident in your decision, because based on what I know of you, you have put in the time and effort to research and field your options.
I do hope to see you at Barix again sometime soon.
Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Congratulations Selena!! You'll be in good company at Abington - several posters on this site have had Dr Bonanni and had their surgery there, so wishing you the best of luck with everything!
My situation was very similar to yours - husband very supportive - mother, not so much - and my mother lived with me so that was doubly hard, but I know she was just scared about me having such a drastic surgery, even though she watched me struggle with my weight (and watched it go UP) for years - and also saw me go through every other diet known to mankind. But in the end she came around and was supportive - of course after surgery she thought I was starving to death - LOL!! But even she had to admit it was so much healthier for me in the long run, and your parents (mom) will come around as well.
This is something that is SOOOO personal, and you have to do it for yourself and no one else - and some people think that's being selfish - personally I think it's taking responsibility for your health and well-being.
Congratulations again! And welcome to the PA Boards - it's wonderful seeing so many new posters out here!!
Kathy
My situation was very similar to yours - husband very supportive - mother, not so much - and my mother lived with me so that was doubly hard, but I know she was just scared about me having such a drastic surgery, even though she watched me struggle with my weight (and watched it go UP) for years - and also saw me go through every other diet known to mankind. But in the end she came around and was supportive - of course after surgery she thought I was starving to death - LOL!! But even she had to admit it was so much healthier for me in the long run, and your parents (mom) will come around as well.
This is something that is SOOOO personal, and you have to do it for yourself and no one else - and some people think that's being selfish - personally I think it's taking responsibility for your health and well-being.
Congratulations again! And welcome to the PA Boards - it's wonderful seeing so many new posters out here!!
Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
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