Thursday Roll Call

Good Morning PA:

Good Luck to those that are heading back to teach school today (Beth) and I'm not sure if Steffi is heading back today but I know it is soon.

I'm numb and sad and very hurt.  I have had a lot of conversation with many on my mother's side of the family.  They are all very supportive of me.  Many have told me they were going to my "fathers" services to support me, since I have no reason to go they do not have a reason to go.  My brother had the nerve to give my dad's lady friend who lives here in Philly my phone number.  When I was on the phone with my cousin last night she kept leaving messages that I'm to pick her up and be her chauffer for the services today and tomorrow.  I do not know the woman, she is nothing to me, I said to Gene is it wrong that I do not want to call her back.  I was the one that spoke to her on Monday to let her know dad got worse, because my brother asked me to do it because "he could not deal with her"   I know she and dad were "special" friends for a long time so out of respect for him I called her, me my sense of careing for people, I"m calling this woman because I want to be gentle and supportive of her and do this for my "father", I feel like such a fool to have left my guard down with those two evil *******s whom are blood related to me. 

As you've see by my separate post the house drama continues.  We do have a lawyer just do not want to discuss too much of it in open forums.  There is also good news on the house front don't want to put that out but if I run into anyone will gladly share by word of mouth.

Gene is home with me.  He is sad and grieving, like he said "Joe" was a part of our lives that is not gone forever.  And that it is also hard because of all the hurt that "Joe" and Joey (my brother) had caused his wife.  He is upset because he could not protect me from getting hurt.  He actually asked me last night if I was going to leave him because he could not protect me.  OMG he is my soul mate, he is my best friend, I told Gene I love him more than anything and that there was no way he could protect me from my "biological" family.  I feel terrible for Gene because I know that he knows he is the only person in my life beside my children that I trust, he is the one I know I am safe with. 

Today I'm planning to try to relax.  I was able to sleep last night I think more from exaustion than anything.

It is a beautiful day out there, I hope you all enjoy it.

Ida

Ida, I will say prayers for you. There's not much else I can offer. But I do know that if I were in your shoes, I would not accept calls and would delete all messages from anyone on that side of your family....for good. It is clear that this man was a "sperm donor" but did not function as a father in your life. The role of "father" is earned, not bestowed. Of course there is emotion associated with the loss....and you DO need to feel the full range of your feelings.

I am glad you are taking care of busiess on the house side of things and trust that you have a good lawyer to help you through. The letter from the contractor makes me think of he old saying, 'the best defense is a good offense." He knows what he did and didn't do and is just thoping that you won't follow through.

Ida can you possibly take part of the weekend ahead just for you - to go out to a park and take a long walk, to unplug the phone, to get away from the house, maybe the two of you can head out on the bike. Do the things that will allow you to take at least a few good deep breaths. Treat yourself, just a little! It will pay off, I hope!

Good Morning Ida,
You are truly blessed with a man like Gene in your life.  Hang onto him.  He is a treasure. 

I posted on Kathy's Roll Call, but will also post here.  I have a podiatrist appointment, follow up on my injured foot.  Friends from church are coming to help pack and clean my kitchen and bathroom.  I am truly blessed.

Then, this afternoon, I have an intake appointment for a group therapy group I would like to join. 

Hugs,
Trish

We must have posted roll call at the same time, Ida.

I'm sure this woman-friend of your fathers is well aware of the relationship (or lack thereof) that you had with your father and brother, so it takes a lot of nerve for her to call you and expect you to be her 'chauffer' to the services. She was obviously playing on your good nature but I agree - ignore the calls and do not do this - you have been through enough. You said your good-byes to your father and you owe nothing to anyone associated with him.

It's sad that Gene felt that way but I guess we all suffer from some form of insecurity. I hope you were able to relieve his fears and he knows that he will be in your life forever.

Glad to hear some 'good' news on the homefront...

Take care - Kathy

Good Morning Pa.,
Ida I can't say any more than has already been said about the family situation.  You can pick your friends, but not your family. ( Having been there and done that with my husbands family, being locked out of the church for his brothers funeral comes to mind.)  Take care of yourself and your needs at this time.  As already stated you are lucky to have Gene, and I hope he really deep down knows that the two of you are meant for each other, and always will be. 
I am glad there is good news about the house.  You are right the less said on here is for the better, as the element of surprise, or lack there for the GC to figure out is for the best.  Take care of yourself, and as was already mentioned maybe because this is a long weekend you and Gene can make some special time for yourself.
As for me, I have gone to Assateaque State Park Beach the last two days.  It was wonderful.  We took a snacks, sat on the beach, read a book and enjoyed the sun, surf, and breeze.  Yesterday we saw dolphins swimming up and down the shore line, it was a sight to see.  There were playing there for about 1 1/2 hrs.  Imagine my surprise when I looked up and saw them riding the waves toward the beach.  They came so close I could see them through the waves!!!  What a sight, I think they scared themselves because after they did that they went back out made one more pass then went to deeper water.  Something I will never forget.  Although we could go to the beach again today, I don't think I could take much more sun, as I am already a glowing red.  So unless we decide to dig out an umbrella, I think we will find other things to do today.
Beth have a good first day back to school, take a deep breath before you start your busy schedule with your beautiful daughter and her activities.
Have a good day all.
Ena

Good Morning!

Ida--((((HUGS))) I think you should just take this time for you and spend it with Gene doing things you enjoy. Ignore the phoe messages and delete all further messages from anyone on that side of the family.
Letting go of the toxic relationships is the best thing for you.
Glad to hear there seems to be a light at the end of the tunnel on the
house front for you!! Know you are in my thoughts and prayers!!

As for me..I got nothing on the agenda today. Ahhhhhh....just going to enjoy the sunshine and stay home...will prob do some reading and some cross stitich...nap will definitely be in order later--didn't get one yesterday and am def feeling it today. Tomorrow is  an ob/gyn check up and a run around day and the weekend is shaping up to be busy sooo going to have some relaxation today.

Hope everyone has a terrific day!!

Much luv!!
Laura

Giant hugs coming your way!! Maybe this is a good weekend for Barix support? I think first saturday is this week.

I am at work today, here until 3:30 - 4ish whenever I can escape! Stopping for diapers and gas on the way home. Once home dinner, walk, bath, bottle, bed! I was up way past my bedtime last night so I am going to try to turn in early tonight, it rarely ever happens that way but I'll give it the ol college try!

 Morning all.. 

I'm working for a change.  But today is a short work day.  I am only here (Aetna) til 1:30.  Siehara has an appointment with the nutritionist at 2:00.  It is the first appointment so it should take about an hour.  I hope she really pays attention and gets something out of this, like the importance of changing her diet for her health's sake.  I did some grocery shopping last night and ONLY bought healthier stuff.  I got low fat lunch meat, bread, fruit, cheese sticks and yogurts for her lunch.  I am NOT going to buy the 100 cal packs because she cannot control her portions.   I also picked up some Weigh****chers meals for her for nights when I don't get anything ready for dinner and I am working.  I am, however, going to make a HUGE effort to have something healthy cooked for dinner most nights.  

After we are done at the nutritionist, we are going to head to Target to pick up a few things.  I need a new vacuum cleaner.  The ones I've gotten from Freecycle have been crap, so I'm going to invest in one.  I also need a new shower caddy, mine is terribly rusted.  Siehara asked if she can look at clothes for school, so we will do that, as well. 

From there, we are headed up to Tanya's.  We are going to have dinner with her and she has a few things of mine, plus some clothes she wants to give us.  She is busy packing up the things she has at her mom's for her move back down to FL.    We can't stay up there too late since it IS Thursday and I have to work tomorrow morning.  

That's about it for me.. busy day, but only working a small part of it, for a change.  

Have a great one, everybody!

Good morning Ida - You know where I stand and how I feel about you.  I think that is all that I can add here!

I am at school.  Just posted a HUGE WOW that happened this morning. This is going to STICK for quite a while! :)  Had our morning meeting and now I am about to turn up the music and get to this classroom and get the papers that I need in order for Tuesday.  After school I have no plans so I am hopefully going to stop at the doctor, unannounced, as they couldn't be bothered to answer the phones yesterday when I was in agony!  Can't wait to call them on the carpet for that one!  Tonight, should be a quiet night with the kids.  I do want to stop at Target I think for some classroom things, but I may just wait til the weekend and take advantage of my time to rest tonight.

Happy September all! :)

Ida,

Sending you cyber hugs {{{{{{{{{{Ida}}}}}}}}}}}. . .  I am happy you have your Gene and hope that since things are heading in a better direction with the house, plus you've gotten legal counsel, that you can now put most of what has been causing you and Gene so much stress behind you and look forward to enjoying your home once again soon.  In the meantime, as someone else pointed out, try to find some time for you and Gene to spend doing something for yourselves that does not involve the house. 

Oh and, as Liz said, should you want to sit down with any of your friends from on here, some of us will be gathering at Barix on Saturday at 11 a.m., until 1:30 p.m., but if you have something more enjoyable planned, ENJOY!!!

Hugs, Laureen