putting the focus back on me
It's time to put the attention back on me.
I thought I was going to be able to do that this summer while Siehara was gone. I did to a point, but not enough. I haven't been focusing on what is going in my stomach and have been slipping on the exercise.
The lack of gym time I have blamed on the new job, but that really isn't an excuse. I say that I am not going because I like the classes and can't get there in time. BUT, why can't I just go on my own and do my own thing. Even if I just go for 30 minutes, it's more than I've been doing when I just DON'T go.
I need to get the focus back on me and my journey.
Thankfully, working at Dress Barn has me on my feet all the time, so my weight loss has actually picked up again. Plus when I am there, I am not sitting around eating the whole time.. BUT, not good enough.
I have spent my summer worrying about money (the lack of) and trying to figure out how I'm going to manage to continue to pay my bills PLUS the added expense of Siehara's Bat Mitzvah that is now right around the corner (October 29). I have been going back and forth on asking my step mom for help. I know that she is on a fixed income, but I can't believe that my dad didn't leave ANYTHING at all for his granddaughter when he died. It really bothers me. He was always there to help out when he could, while he was alive. How is there NOTHING for his kids or at LEAST his ONLY blood related grandchild? There was no reading of a will, so I really don't know what the story is with that.
Starting today, I am back to focusing on MY journey. Siehara is home. We are starting over as mother and daughter and I am starting over on LISA. I am going to track my food, get some exercise and pick up the phone and call my step mom. I NEED to do this for peace of mind. I also need your love and support while I do this.
I thought I was going to be able to do that this summer while Siehara was gone. I did to a point, but not enough. I haven't been focusing on what is going in my stomach and have been slipping on the exercise.
The lack of gym time I have blamed on the new job, but that really isn't an excuse. I say that I am not going because I like the classes and can't get there in time. BUT, why can't I just go on my own and do my own thing. Even if I just go for 30 minutes, it's more than I've been doing when I just DON'T go.
I need to get the focus back on me and my journey.
Thankfully, working at Dress Barn has me on my feet all the time, so my weight loss has actually picked up again. Plus when I am there, I am not sitting around eating the whole time.. BUT, not good enough.
I have spent my summer worrying about money (the lack of) and trying to figure out how I'm going to manage to continue to pay my bills PLUS the added expense of Siehara's Bat Mitzvah that is now right around the corner (October 29). I have been going back and forth on asking my step mom for help. I know that she is on a fixed income, but I can't believe that my dad didn't leave ANYTHING at all for his granddaughter when he died. It really bothers me. He was always there to help out when he could, while he was alive. How is there NOTHING for his kids or at LEAST his ONLY blood related grandchild? There was no reading of a will, so I really don't know what the story is with that.
Starting today, I am back to focusing on MY journey. Siehara is home. We are starting over as mother and daughter and I am starting over on LISA. I am going to track my food, get some exercise and pick up the phone and call my step mom. I NEED to do this for peace of mind. I also need your love and support while I do this.
My tracker
hers 
Lisa-I think itis great that you posted this. Sometimes we all let the things going on in life build up and take the focus off of the journey we are on. It is awesome that you are able to pull back and look at the big picture and hold yourself accountable in certain areas. That is a very big step and one that will help you as you begin to reshift the focus back on you. If you need anything...I'm here! Have a great one!
Laura
Laura
Laura
"Two roads diverged in a wood..and I took the one less travelled by and that has made all the difference." -Robert Frost
Over 176+ lbs lost since surgery!! :-)
See my profile for my OH Blog!!
Hey, if you're focusing on you, then who is focusing on me? Whatever. Nice post Lisa. I think its a great idea/approach to focus on yourself again. Remember, we gained all that weight because we werent focusing on ourselves and taking care of ourselves. I am supporting you!
Swede
Swede
HW=400 SW=383 CW=252 GW=240
Pounds to go=12!!! Pounds Lost =148
You know we have your back on this one, Lisa - I know I'm struggling as well and not liking it one bit. A million excuses to not work out and not one worth a damn, to be blunt honest with myself and everyone else. So today is a fresh start for me as well - tracking my food - actually looking at what I'm putting in my mouth and my pouch - and getting my 'slack-ass' (to coin a term from our good friend Swede) back in motion.
Call your stepmother - the worst she can say is no - but hopefully there was some money put aside for you and Siehara's special day to help you out.
Big hugs and love - Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
Lisa,
You have been through so much, and have mastered alot, the main one being a great Mom, and being their for Siehara in all things at all times. This is another that you will master also. I will be right there with you, I need to exercise more, so my goal will be to join a gym. Making sure I am more aware of my food, and trying to take all the extra supplements that I need. As already mentioned "We got your back on this one"
Hugs, Ena
You have been through so much, and have mastered alot, the main one being a great Mom, and being their for Siehara in all things at all times. This is another that you will master also. I will be right there with you, I need to exercise more, so my goal will be to join a gym. Making sure I am more aware of my food, and trying to take all the extra supplements that I need. As already mentioned "We got your back on this one"
Hugs, Ena
"Journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."
Lisa,
You know that I am always here for you as you have been there for me!! This summer was supposed to be about a refocus for me, but life got in the way!! I really have to get that mindset back. We are on the journey together and I am here to support you anyway I can!! If you need an extra pair of hands for the Bat Mitzvah, I will be there for you!!
Take care and good luck!!
Love you, Beth
You know that I am always here for you as you have been there for me!! This summer was supposed to be about a refocus for me, but life got in the way!! I really have to get that mindset back. We are on the journey together and I am here to support you anyway I can!! If you need an extra pair of hands for the Bat Mitzvah, I will be there for you!!
Take care and good luck!!
Love you, Beth
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Lisa,
Great post and good realizations and so you've made a decision to change what you can and a decision implies we are taking action.
I know first hand how to make excuses for what I'm not doing and I did that for over 35 years, which is probably younger than your age (lol) and it lead me to Barix and WLS, which in and of itself is not a bad thing, but without the actions I need to take, I've proven to myself that the same old thing will happen and that is that I will gain weight and feel a sense of guilt and shame. I had a bad case of posion ivy, staples in my head and then summer came, things were ok, I did not gain anything, so I figured, ok, I don't need to worry about my exercise program (slipped back into old lazy self) and then over the course of the fall and winter I gained and before I knew it all my nice clothes that I had filled my closet with were tight and not fitting, got to the point of having to buy a few items a size bigger, reality clobbered me and so I went back to the gym, did too much without doing it the right way and injured myself and it became yet another excuse for me not to be at the gym and the scale, well it kept moving in the wrong direction, until thanks to support group and OH I recognized what was happening and I made up my mind to wrap my foot and get my butt back to what I know works, well girlfriend, it has not been easy, but I'm doing it and for me the weight is not coming off any too easy, but the benefits of being at the gym 4 or 5x a week are healthier me, no matter the scale numbers and so take charge of yourself and do what you know is in your best interests. You have lots of supporters. . .
Wishing you the best, Laureen
Great post and good realizations and so you've made a decision to change what you can and a decision implies we are taking action.
I know first hand how to make excuses for what I'm not doing and I did that for over 35 years, which is probably younger than your age (lol) and it lead me to Barix and WLS, which in and of itself is not a bad thing, but without the actions I need to take, I've proven to myself that the same old thing will happen and that is that I will gain weight and feel a sense of guilt and shame. I had a bad case of posion ivy, staples in my head and then summer came, things were ok, I did not gain anything, so I figured, ok, I don't need to worry about my exercise program (slipped back into old lazy self) and then over the course of the fall and winter I gained and before I knew it all my nice clothes that I had filled my closet with were tight and not fitting, got to the point of having to buy a few items a size bigger, reality clobbered me and so I went back to the gym, did too much without doing it the right way and injured myself and it became yet another excuse for me not to be at the gym and the scale, well it kept moving in the wrong direction, until thanks to support group and OH I recognized what was happening and I made up my mind to wrap my foot and get my butt back to what I know works, well girlfriend, it has not been easy, but I'm doing it and for me the weight is not coming off any too easy, but the benefits of being at the gym 4 or 5x a week are healthier me, no matter the scale numbers and so take charge of yourself and do what you know is in your best interests. You have lots of supporters. . .
Wishing you the best, Laureen
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Lisa,
Way too get back on track. I am here for you if there is anything I can do or if you ever need an ear to listen. I wish I lived closer. We could work out together and hold each other accountable. Does Sieharra have any interest in working out. MAybe you two could be workout buddies?
Good luck....I know you can do it!
Sara
Way too get back on track. I am here for you if there is anything I can do or if you ever need an ear to listen. I wish I lived closer. We could work out together and hold each other accountable. Does Sieharra have any interest in working out. MAybe you two could be workout buddies?
Good luck....I know you can do it!
Sara
LIsa I am sorry I am late on posting this. First let me say that I am always amazed how strong you are. You are raising a daughter with special needs alone no father input or assistance. Both of your parents have passed and you have little family to draw on. So I am amazed by you on a daily basis. Your ability to just keep moving forward to amazing.
I am glad that you realize that you have more to offer yourself and your life and daughter if you do make time for yourself and your health. This is always something that women especially have to LEARN to do. Putting yourself does not come naturally. I am always here for you, your daughter and your fur babies.
Good luck on your journey. If I Can help in anyway with the batmizvah let me know.
I am glad that you realize that you have more to offer yourself and your life and daughter if you do make time for yourself and your health. This is always something that women especially have to LEARN to do. Putting yourself does not come naturally. I am always here for you, your daughter and your fur babies.
Good luck on your journey. If I Can help in anyway with the batmizvah let me know.
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