Mundane Monday Roll Call

It is Monday, I am up and at work. That is about all I can say at this point. This early bird stuff is for the worms. I am back from my little break. I needed to recharge and be less " plugged in" so much stuff was going on with my family, and so many internet battles were raging that I was losing it.

I took some pretty significant steps well to me they are, to someone else they may seem silly. I cleaned out my friends list of anyone that I dont actually, know personally, and care about what happens to them and are not going to be controversial and provoking. I also defriended my sister and my niece. I sent them a nice message and told them I was going to do it. I just said that I loved them and that I was not going anywhere but that I really did not want to be privy to the inner workings of their daily life because it is too stressful for me. I do not agree with their behaviors and the consequences that will most definately happen because of them, and that I canno****ch it. They have pretty much ignored me but I have been alot happier not having to know what is happening. Too much drama.

I have also been pulling out of my own depression. What I have realized is when I am depressed I get a little paranoid, I start to think that people who are my friends are not REALLY my friends. I pull away and see if they care enough to " Check on me" Rational me knows that peoples lives are busy and that they will probably not notice I am gone for awhile and that is ok. Not that they dont care. So what what my sane mind has taught me is that when I am depressed I need to move towards my friends and not away from them. That I am trying to do.

This journey is so full of hills and valleys. I dont think any of them are necessarily " bad" it is just part of the process. For us to have surgery and lose a massive amount of weight and then to think everything will be ok is the defintion of INSANE. There is work to do people. dragons to slay, toxic people to eject and personal lies that we tell ourselves to correct.

I wish you strength and joy on your journey

Good Morning Nicole - Congrats of ridding yourself of the toxic people! I am also glad that you got some down time.

I managed to do something to my back friday evening - saturday was excrutiating, sunday was slightly better but this morning it is right back to terrible :( I"ll call the Dr at 8:30 when they open to see if I can get in after work today. I know it doesn't take much to throw it out but I don't remember doing anything at all.

Anyway back to today. Working until 3:30 - 4ish, then headed to the Dr and back to my parents to hang with them and Mia. Looking forward to a low key evening because I know tody at work is going to be insane!

Have a good day all

Morning Nicole.. you are such an inspiration to me as you share your struggles and triumphs.  It took a lot of strength for you to be able to DEfriend your sister and niece and pull yourself away from their drama.  You don't need to be worrying about them all the time based on what they post on FB.  I need to get back to working on me, as well.  I think I need to post about my struggles separately, as I have also been avoiding dealing with them. 

Anyway, Siehara is home now.  I am so happy to see her and have her here.  She was more than excited and surprised to see Jaspar when she got home yesterday!!  She loves him and keeps saying how cute, soft, adorable, etc.. he is.  Her friend Julie was here to see her open the door and see her reaction.  So, she was happy to be included in that, as well.  Julie also bought her a "friends forever" necklace and told her she now had the key to her heart.. it was really sweet.  The girls shared a special moment together with that gift.  

 I let her sleep in my bed last night.  She woke up in the middle of the night and went to the living room on the sofa.  She said she couldn't sleep.  Maybe she's not used to being in a comfortable bed anymore b/c she can ALWAYS sleep in MY bed even when she couldn't sleep in her own.   We'll probably go back to the Melatonin regiment at bedtime.   She is currently asleep on the sofa.  

Working til 3:30 today per the usual.  I'm sure Siehara will be spending more time with her friend Julie. She met us here when we arrived home from camp and they spent a few hours together yesterday.   Tonight, we are going to an Iron Pigs (minor league) baseball game with my friend Karen.  Her company got a suite and is paying for tickets, parking and food!  She was nice enough to invite Siehara and me to come with her as a thank you for letting her sleep here on nights she has to work in the Whitehall store.  Hopefully the weather will cooperate.  Their last couple of games have had rain delays and postponements.  From there, we will come home and hit the bed to start over tomorrow.  

Good Morning Nicole and PA,
Good for you for taking care of yourself, and being a role model on how to grow, and stay sane.  

I stayed out of trouble on Sunday.  I took down my curtains and washed them, well, the living room ones.  They are now packed for the move.  I have blinds on the windows, so I will have privacy.  My bedroom curtains get packed the day before, because they are room darkening, and my bedroom gets the afternoon sun.

Today is a busy day of phone calls and errands. 

Have a great day.

Hugs,
Trish

Good Morning PA!

Nicole--I am glad to see you posting again...I've been thinking of you. I hope your break from being plugged in was a help and it always amazes to hear and see how attuned you are and insightful you are when dealing with all the bumps on this journey. You are very strong and very brave!!! ((BIG HUGS)) Have a good day at work!

Liz--So sorry your back is still out of whack!!! Hope the Dr can help!!! ((HUGS))!!!!


As for me today..not much going on. Got a few errands to run. Then home to clean kitchen...among other things. I am on a cleaning mission lately...it is just taking forever because I clean one thing get exhausted and then take a nap...lol Is this NESTING??? I think it is....

Hubby has his karate class tonight so I will prob just work on my ACT 48 class while he is there...dinner will prob be leftovers from last night...and then will prob workon the applique wall hanging blanket for the nursery which is also taking forever to get done..lol Plus I have a huge cross stich blanket to do that I want to hang over by the crib..but at this rate I don't think they are all going to get done in the next 5 weeks (EEK!!) But I'll keep trying.. :-)

So that is it for me...hope everyone has a great start to their week!!!

Much luv!!
Laura

Good morning everyone - Nicole, I'm glad you're feeling better - I always miss your posts when you're MIA but totally understand the need to take a break once in a while.

I'm at work - might be a quiet day since I am the only one here right now - the boss sent a message saying she wasn't feeling well - may come in around noon. Not sure where everyone else is. I'm out tomorrow for my husband's ultrasound and biopsy.

I want to thank everyone for their prayers and well-wishes for my family - I know so many of you are also going through illnesss and issues, and I truly appreciate your support and comforting words.

Today I am back to tracking my food and taking care of me - I have been very negligent in that area and am feeling it in more ways than one - regain, lack of energy, feeling down, stressing over weight gain. I got better food for myself for work - am cutting out my morning stops to Micky D's for my coffee - not altogether but am limiting myself to once or twice a week. Got my Magic Bullet out and put it ON the counter to make protein shakes in the morning.

I see Ida hasn't posted yet - poor thing - they were bailing out their house this weekend due to the excessive rain - saw pictures on FB where her yard is actually caving in due to the unfinished construction. I feel so bad for them - is there anything we can do?

Take care all - Kathy

Good Morning Pa. and Nicole,
Nicole you are not alone, I am sure that at times we could all relate to your post. Having to defriend your sister and niece is more than likely a good idea, and you won't miss the drama. All the drama mixed in with all the other things in our lives is what makes our head spin, making us insane. At least it's true for me. Glad to see you are back, and hope things go a little more "light hearted" for you now.
That is the "nesting thing", as your date gets closer, when you get that *****burst of energy to clean***** you will know that you are ready to go at any time. (scrubbing the kitchen floor come to mind for when I got ready to go, only thing was it was difficult to be on my hands and knees, while having one hand under my belly. lol)
Kathy hope all goes well for you and your husband tomorrow, will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for a good outcome.
Lisa you will make out just find in your efforts to concentrate on yourself, you need to be satisfied with yourself, so you are able to happy all around.
Poor Ida and Gene, my thoughts and prayers are with them, this really is a matter that needs to be addressed legally. I am sure they are more than fed up. I would have been calling the CG to come over and do his share of bailing out the water, not to mention the safety issue this brings up.
As for me, the grands are back home in Md., and were oh so glad to see their little sister and parents. We had a good time for their two weeks away, but they are happy to be home with their family and their "things".
I will be heading up to Pa. today, please pray for strength for me as I go home to address issues with hubby. I do not like confrontation, and there is going to be plenty of it on this trip, due to IRS issues, and his involving me in it. Then making an appointment with a lawyer to find out what my options are. He has made some inappropriate decisions in the past which have put a wedge in between us, and this may be the straw that has broken the camel's back. The worst part in all of this is that there is no one to confide all the details in. My "forever friend" passed away a couple years ago, and I don't really want to put any of this on my daughter, as she has her own family stuff going on with her in laws.
Anyway taking care of what I need to do for me, is going to be my battle cry for now.
Liz hope the Dr is able to help you out, and although you can not remember doing anything to your back, just lifting Mia up,in and out of the crib,car seat etc is enough to do it.
Prayers for strength for anyone facing issues of their own.
Have a great day.
Ena

Hi Nicole - What a pleasure it was to spend so much time with you and Jason yesterday.  Loved hanging out at your house in the afternoon and then fun at dinner with you both in Lancaster!  (Even though Larry DID ***** about work for most of the meal, oy!)

I am currently sitting on the deck outside a beautiful B&B in Bird-in-Hand, PA.  Outside of the pool, with a beautiful garden and soothing water feature.  After dinner last night Larry and I got to the B&B and found a fire pit under a gazebo.  Fortunately it was a gas fire and all Larry had to do was push a few buttons and VOILA! a fire.  On a chilly night was just the perfect ending to a nice day of friends and being away from home.

Today we are going to take a tour around the Lancaster area.  The pool is open and so long as it stays dry, we may make our way back to here later this afternoon.  We have the opportunity for a wine tasting as well as a buggy ride.  So there is most likely that on the agenda today as well, (I will not partake in the wine tasting and if I find it too challenging then Larry and I will leave.)  Dinner will be at a cute little Amish restaurant in the area.  It is so fun to see so many buggy's around these parts.  LAst night driving back from dinner, we actually, by accident, because I was navigating and couldn't find the street we were suppose to turn on, turned in to an Amish far with a ton of kids and teens playing volleyball.  Larry was only concerned that we were driving on someone elses property.   I loved it, I would have loved to stop and see if we could join the game, but something held me back from telling Larry to stop.  oh well.

Tomorrow is out 19th wedding anniversary and Nicole gave us a great idea for our drive home to stop at the local farmer's market, well, one of many anyway, and then I think we will take the scenic route home.

Hope your Monday is calm.

Good Morning Nicole and PA!!

Nicole, I am so glad that you got some down time with friends! Wish I could have been there!! You know I am here for you no matter what! I think we have all been struggling in one way or another, I know I have!! I am actually looking forward to going back to work...strange??

Today I have an appointment with my therapist. I am hoping to talk to her about what this summer has been for me. Lots of stress and worrying about stuff... The rest of the day I am going to spend cleaning out my dining room closet. It is really getting on my nerves!! Also want to spend some time with Dee and doing some school work. I also am going to try and do some Zumba today.

That is it for me!
Have a great day!!
Love to all, Beth

Steffi and Larry...Happy Anniversary!!!

Good Morning Nicole, PA Friends,

Nicole, you are to be admired for standing up and realizing what you need to do and then taking the necessary action and with love and respect for all.  I also identify with what you shared about your depression, though I never thought of it as paranoid, I always thought of it as not feeling as though people genuinely cared about me and so let me see if they do. . .  I have not done that in a while, perhaps I am getting better and realizing that people live busy lives and that I am not the center of anyone's universe, guess I'm not the sun, moon or stars, huh (lol). . .  and I also have a thing where when I need people the most I withdraw from them, I think that is something ingrained in me from childhood, not to want to show weakness or vulnerability or to have to ask anyone for help.  I've changed that part of myself too.  I think what it all boils down to, is self awareness and realizing that everyone wants to be needed sometimes and it can be selfish of me to think I should be there for people and not let them be there for me. . . sending hugs your way, I wish we lived closer, I'd love to spend time with you (and Jason). . .

It is so sad waht Ida and Gene are having to go through, that GC should really have to pay for all the damages, his underbidding the deal should have no bearings on him doing the right thing, especially sad that he was a "friend" of theirs.  Doing renovations is stressful all by itself, trust me I know, but to have someone not complete things and leave you in the lurch. . .  sheesh, I have a few choice things I could say, but not on this forum.

I had a weekend that was just full of bustle and hustle, Saturday Tony came down, we went for breakfast, then to see the Planet of the Apes movie, which while I was not really wanting to see it, I wound up enjoying as it was nothing like the original one, though they left the door open for a sequel, afterwards we went to lunch, then home, hung out and when he left for work, I went to run errands, my AA women's meeting and then bed, yesterday, it poured down rain which was the perfect excuse to clean my house, so I did the front rooms and laundry, took a break and went shopping with my friend Owen to buy a gift for his wife to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary which is today, I took him to the Pandora store, where he bought her a bracelet with three charms, two clips and a pair of earrings, then we stopped and had Red Mango yogurt, yummo, I dropped him back at his car and went home where I prepped food, picked up where I left off on the cleaning side of things and finally sat down at around 8 p.m. to relax before going to bed at 9:30 and then tried to go to sleep, however, it was a bit difficult since my neighbors son was out back with 3 of his friends whooping it up in their pool until almost 11 p.m., but I did not want to be the crotchey old neighbor and I also realized that the boys had been housebound all day due to the rains and so, hey, let them enjoy what's left of their summer vacation, right?  lol, so I got about 5 hours of sleep instead of my intended 7, as I got up early and hit the gym. 

When I got to work this morning, my cousin called to say her Mom had passed early this morning, my great Aunt Mary was 95 1/2 years of age and had a good life up until 4 years ago when she developed dementia, so her passing is a blessing for her and my cousin, who has had to watch and experience this sad state, the last time I saw my Aunt was last year and she did not even know who I was and I grew up with my cousin, always at their house, so it was very sad, but she is at peace and with the rest of our family members who have gone before her, with her passing that is the end of my grandfather's family, she was the youngest and the last to pass, sad to see my family shrinking, but this is life as we age. . .  so after work this evening I will go home, pack a bag and head to New York, will stay at my cousin's for the funeral tomorrow.

Wishing you each a very good day and as always, I wish you peace and strength to withstand the more challenging aspects of living.

Laureen