Combating Regain - How's it going?

Happy Monday Everyone

Sure do hope that you are feeling like you are headed in the right direction today.

It's been over a week since my last post on this subject and I just thought I'd check in with you all and see how you are doing?

It's been a really positive couple of weeks for me now, had some realizations along the way, along the path of "addictive" behaviors, such as last Friday when I had these two jars of swedish fish that were given to me from my firm, they sat there all week without me really having any and then Friday I was a bit bored, I mean I had all the food I needed to fuel my body and was not hungry, but decided I wanted a few fish, well I counted out 8 and then went back for more and it was like I opened a dam and I got a plastic bag out from our kitchen area and dumped both jars of them into it and gave them to another secretary here who puts out candy for the people who work here, I seldom go by and want any of it, plus I must admit to the fact that I would be embarassed to take any.  I also noted the sneak eater in me still exists, so there are things I am still learning about myself in regards to my food habits and that is not to say I don't write down everything I eat, but I don't want people to see everything I eat and when I discussed that in support group on Saturday I was amazed that others do the same thing, so there is a sense of comfort in knowing I am not alone and by admitting this stuff out loud there is a great opportunity to change.  This comes from childhood and then from being asked by my exhusband and others at various times throughout my life, as to whether I should be eating that?  Now I think it comes from the fact that I am someone who went through this surgical intervention and feel like I should not be eating this or that and since I do occasionally eat things that are not what we are supposed to, that I have to hide that fact.  What foolish thinking, am I not human and just because I needed to have surgical intervention, I never started this journey believing that all my ways would go away, nor did I envision never having this or that, but I do envision being thin and healthy and so I need to make choices that serve that purpose and binge eating is not something I need to indulge in.  So first I need to ask myself why am I wanting to eat and then when I want to have something from the list of things I probably should not eat, I need be mindful of what I am eating and whether or not that food will trigger in me a desire to keep going and if I cannot take a single portion size and put it down, then I really need to not have it and I need to be proactive about such things.

My hope within this posting continues to be that anyone who is struggling can get something out of my experiences and know that you are not alone and that together we can conquer this disease of obesity!

Hugs, Laureen

Still doing well here. Totally committed to my exercise regimen, which has always been the easiest for me. I've been making consistently good food choices as well, which remains my biggest challenge!

Even managed to not eat like a fool while on vacation.

Norm, Your dedication to exercise has always been admired by me and it's something I strive to continue to do and hope that one day I can do it without too much effort (lol).  Right now I do it because I know it's a must for me and the other aspect of it is by leaving my house at 5 a.m., I miss all the traffic, another side benefit, oh and I'm saving on my water bill because I don't shower at home on those days I go to the gym (lol). . .  I find that when I'm on vacation, if I have been following a regiment of good eating, I generally don't deviate, though I do allow myself some leeway, so glad you're doing well.  Wish you and Mary were closer, so we could see you guys more often. . .

Have a good day!

Laureen, you mentioned two big things that I've been trying to ignore in myself but realize I can no longer do that - I do eat out of boredom and I am a 'sneak' eater - as if it doesn't count if no one sees me?? Not good, and I really need to work on that.

I started out last week so positive with exercise - 4 days in a row, then fell off the wagon, so tonight back at it. I also went out last night and bought healthier food to have at work for those 'boredom' times (and trust me, I'm getting a lot of that lately) - I grabbed whole grain foods, yogurt, cottage cheese and healthier snacks. Still need to get some fruit and veggies going more but I'll be making a big grocery run tomorrow night.

I'm not sure I ever envisioned myself as a 'thin' person, but I was definitely thinner last year and I'm not liking what I'm seeing in the mirror now, because I know where it leads.

Right now I'm not a happy person - and that's very difficult for me to admit, because I have always been a very upbeat, outgoing person - but I'm lonely for my family, I'm very concerned about my brother, I'm really starting to dislike my job and the commute - the only good thing about the job now is the pay, and I'm not sure that's enough anymore. It's hard to walk away from a good salary and benefits, but if you're not happy in it or anywhere else you have to be to keep it, what's the point?

It is definitely a journey and not a destination...I have to keep reminding myself of that and the fact that I am and always will be a work in progress.


Kathy

Kathy,

It's understandable that you would be feeling a bit off and isn't that life, even the most upbeat among us have our moments, I am also of that ilk, but occasionally life bogs me down.  In your instance I guess it's what you want vs. what you need to do and when you find the answer that you can live with inside you and you come to a decision, you will bounce back to your usual self.

As for me, when I see myself as a "thin" person, it is being a size 10/12 and that is where I was for 2 years and where I want to get back to and it is not a far distance, so I keep on and know that as you said it's a journey we're on and progress is what I am making.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the post.

Hope you feel more like yourself soon!!!

Laureen

Just waanted to pop in and let you all know that I appreciate your honesty and openness on these subjects. Although I am at an entirely different place with my weight right now, I have a had time getting enough calories in and fluids in because of feeling tightness alot and I know it is only going to get tighter in there as the baby grows. But that doesn't mea I don't go through a lot of the mental struggles. I do get concerned every once in a while about gettingback down to my pre pregnancy weight, but that will come. ANYWAY, my point was your honesty encourages me to look inside myself as well, even during thistime. THANKS!!!

Katie,

Thank you for commenting and jumping in, yes you are in a totally different place right now, but I know how dedicated you were and well after the baby comes, you'll certainly have lots to keep you hopping and I'm sure you will get to where you want. 

As for my honesty, I speak from my experiences as that is all I know and what I've learned is that I am not so unique that others cannot identify with some part of what I share, and that was a part of my original reason for starting this thread, for accountability and the desire to help others who may feel like they are losing ground because they too might be struggling.  For most of us, this was a last attempt to achieve something we had not been able to before and I know for me when I began to lose ground in the maintenance part of this, I felt lke my worst fears were going to happen and I knew I was not alone in that, so here I am sharing my journey to aid myself and in that process, hopefully aiding someone else.

Wishing you well on this new road you travel.