It's been two years...
Today marks the end of my time in FL, and also my two year surgiversary.
Two years ago, we vacationed here as well. I 'hit bottom' so to speak, not knowinig if my approval for surgery would go forward....and mostly in fear of not knowing what to do if I did NOT have surgery. At that time, if you had told me that my weight would "only" end up in the 150's, or that I'd end up wearing mostly single digit sizes...I'd have simply looked on in stunned disbelief. If you had told me I would ever enjoy the gym, I'd have shaken my head to say, "No, it's not possible."
For those who don't know me - I started at a high weight of 258 lbs, and was 245 on my surgery day. My lowest weight was 153; today I fluctuate from 155-159. I am 5'4 and 55 years old, so had my surgery at age 53.
Yesterday was a huge NSV for me. I have become friends with the woman who was my realtor here, and we met at a very nice mall to browse and have lunch with her 2 teenage girls. As we roamed around, it hit me. I was shopping with a friend. I can't recall EVER shopping with a friend. Shopping for clothing had to be a solitary pursuit - no one else wore plus sizes, and I didn't want anyone to know what size I really wore. But yesterday, I actually bought a pair of pants (on sale) and needed the SMALLER of the two pairs I tried on!
And then, I did something I haven't done in years. Many of you know that I write. But yesterday I wrote a poem that I hope captures some of this. The form may seem a little odd - it is called a Villanelle (19 lines with a set rhyme scheme).
So here you go - it doesn't have a title yet. (And you don't have to feel obligated to read it at all!)
Now is my time to be alive!
Lift my eyes, enjoy the view,
Not just to exist - but truly to thrive!
My spirit and my strength reborn, revived,
I do what I need and want to do.
Now is my time to be alive!
To live is more than to simply survive.
Explore this existence and all that is new,
Not just to exist, but truly to thrive!
Victory mine, no longer deprived!
Embrace the blessing of each day anew.
Now is my time to be alive!
Breathe deep with gratitude, focus and drive
And clear vision of where I am headed to,
Not just to exist, but truly to thrive!
Success as every day arrives,
Learn who I am - go deep and speak true.
Now is my time to be alive,
Not just to exist, but truly to thrive.
(c) 2011 L. McLean
Two years ago, we vacationed here as well. I 'hit bottom' so to speak, not knowinig if my approval for surgery would go forward....and mostly in fear of not knowing what to do if I did NOT have surgery. At that time, if you had told me that my weight would "only" end up in the 150's, or that I'd end up wearing mostly single digit sizes...I'd have simply looked on in stunned disbelief. If you had told me I would ever enjoy the gym, I'd have shaken my head to say, "No, it's not possible."
For those who don't know me - I started at a high weight of 258 lbs, and was 245 on my surgery day. My lowest weight was 153; today I fluctuate from 155-159. I am 5'4 and 55 years old, so had my surgery at age 53.
Yesterday was a huge NSV for me. I have become friends with the woman who was my realtor here, and we met at a very nice mall to browse and have lunch with her 2 teenage girls. As we roamed around, it hit me. I was shopping with a friend. I can't recall EVER shopping with a friend. Shopping for clothing had to be a solitary pursuit - no one else wore plus sizes, and I didn't want anyone to know what size I really wore. But yesterday, I actually bought a pair of pants (on sale) and needed the SMALLER of the two pairs I tried on!
And then, I did something I haven't done in years. Many of you know that I write. But yesterday I wrote a poem that I hope captures some of this. The form may seem a little odd - it is called a Villanelle (19 lines with a set rhyme scheme).
So here you go - it doesn't have a title yet. (And you don't have to feel obligated to read it at all!)
Now is my time to be alive!
Lift my eyes, enjoy the view,
Not just to exist - but truly to thrive!
My spirit and my strength reborn, revived,
I do what I need and want to do.
Now is my time to be alive!
To live is more than to simply survive.
Explore this existence and all that is new,
Not just to exist, but truly to thrive!
Victory mine, no longer deprived!
Embrace the blessing of each day anew.
Now is my time to be alive!
Breathe deep with gratitude, focus and drive
And clear vision of where I am headed to,
Not just to exist, but truly to thrive!
Success as every day arrives,
Learn who I am - go deep and speak true.
Now is my time to be alive,
Not just to exist, but truly to thrive.
(c) 2011 L. McLean
LYNN!!! We have not met but you are my soulmate!!! Your writing speaks VOLUMES!!!!!! I am 14mos post op.....down 115lbs and into smaller clothes I too find myself in awe of not going into the plus size parts of the stores and....when I do... i STILLL can not believe that I do not wear that size anymore!!!
I had my sx at 51 years old and THANK GOD everyday that I went ahead with this decision much to a lot of NAYSAYERS who said they LOVED me Just the way I was!!! They share my joy now!!!!
Until we meet HUGS!!!! P ROCK!!!!!
I had my sx at 51 years old and THANK GOD everyday that I went ahead with this decision much to a lot of NAYSAYERS who said they LOVED me Just the way I was!!! They share my joy now!!!!
Until we meet HUGS!!!! P ROCK!!!!!
Lynn,
HAPPY 2 YEAR SURGIVERSARY!!! You are such an inspiration and your writing is so true to what this surgery does! We can LIVE AND THRIVE not just survive!!!
Let's get together and celebrate!!
See you soon!
Love, Beth
HAPPY 2 YEAR SURGIVERSARY!!! You are such an inspiration and your writing is so true to what this surgery does! We can LIVE AND THRIVE not just survive!!!
Let's get together and celebrate!!
See you soon!
Love, Beth
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(((hugs))) to you Beth! You are such a steady presence in this journey! I'd love to get together - I don't think I can do the Barix Saturdays till October (have a class in August and a family deal in Sept. for Labor Day weekend) but maybe we can go to lunch afterwards then? Maybe round up a few to join in?
When I do get to Barix, I would love to bring my "before" pants. I have never shown them before so even though the date will be off by a couple of months, it would be fun to share that. LOL - I'll have to be working out between now and then so the difference is that much more noticable! (These pants are as big as the side of a barn, I tell ya. SO glad I kept them!)
When I do get to Barix, I would love to bring my "before" pants. I have never shown them before so even though the date will be off by a couple of months, it would be fun to share that. LOL - I'll have to be working out between now and then so the difference is that much more noticable! (These pants are as big as the side of a barn, I tell ya. SO glad I kept them!)
Lynn -
I still remember the very first time we met. You were inspired by my story and I was inspired by your perseverence. Two years later and you are the one inspiring me. Your poem is exactly how I feel in my pregnancy and I believe that never would have happened without WLS. I am hoping to be around more often as we get close to baby arrival and after as well. I need my support from all of you. YOU ARE AMAZING, KEEP IT UP!!!!!
Katie
I still remember the very first time we met. You were inspired by my story and I was inspired by your perseverence. Two years later and you are the one inspiring me. Your poem is exactly how I feel in my pregnancy and I believe that never would have happened without WLS. I am hoping to be around more often as we get close to baby arrival and after as well. I need my support from all of you. YOU ARE AMAZING, KEEP IT UP!!!!!
Katie
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