Combatting Regain . . . How are You doing it?

Happy Friday Everyone,

Just wanted to check in with all you folks that might want to say something about how your week has gone. . .

I have gone to the gym 4x this week, and the tracker I use says that I've burned aproximately 2600 calories burned, I have tracked my food and on average consumed 1400 calories per day.  I've taken all my supplements and drank gotten in my fluids and so I can say that to this point it has been a good week and my intention is to keep it going, tomorrow will not be a gym day, however, I will be there on Sunday and while I still am not loving the gym, I am feeling good about doing it.

So how are you combatting your regain, if that word applies to you?

Have a great weekend!

Laureen

ugh.  I love you.

Well, I guess I have stayed sugar free; walked home 2 nights this week (mile and a half); went to 2 OA meetings and plan to hit another tonight.

So why do I feel like a total failure?

Jill,

Put the bat down, I read you post and was going to respond, but then my lunch relief showed up. . .

Here's what I would say, first off, where your daughter is concerned, want to suggest that it is ok for her to see you struggle and show her by example that is human nature and that the best of us do it, that the important thing is we move forward and continue the journey, otherwise how can she learn to be honest when and if she has struggles. 

You are not a failure, what you failed was to plan properly and that is your lesson, nothing we do is without merit, it teaches us what we must know to be successful and so your lesson is plan.  Also, being rigid is not good either, so sometimes when a plan goes array we need to recalculate what and how to handle something, for instance yesterday I came to work thinking I would eat something that someone had mistakenly thrown out, I was not happy about it, but I went over the the cafeteria at Wilmington Trust and made a salad with chicken, therefore averting disaster.  While you had a slice of pizza, you walked a mile and then some, you had some popcorn, but did not eat the whole bag, nor did you eat the chili when it made you feel bad, which if you are a food addict like I am would not have been the case in the past.  Were you perfect, was what you did to some extent feeding something else, probably, but that is yesterday and what are you doing positive today?  STOP beating yourself over the head, yesterday is history, tomorrow may not come, so live in today and give yourself the gift of the present. . .

I send you hugs and I understand the battle in your head, I have it too, but sometimes it's really simple, I laugh at those thoughts or I say thanks for sharing and change the channel in my head by reaching out and calling someone or doing something to distract myself. . .

Hugs, Laureen

You know, it would be funny if it weren't driving me so crazy!  I mean, sure, compared to what it was like, my food habits are amazing!  I mean, a handful of plain popcorn rather than a whole bag drenched in butter; two forkfuls of chili rather than two bowlfuls; walking a mile and a half after a slice of pizza rather than eating 1/2 a pizza and walking from the table to the couch! 

Is it really just a perspective problem?  Is my vision skewed? 

Something you can probably relate to and it will help me say it to you.  I don't drink anymore.  I do that perfectly, one day at a time.  I am a "success" at sobriety today.  (And posting this makes me remember when that was absolutely enough.)  Maybe, just maybe, I have had some days where I eat "perfectly," or at least what seems perfect in my mind, but, of course, that, too, is a moving target.  Drinking is easy.  I don't do it.  Eating is another story completely.  And if I don't really know what "perfect" eating even looks like, how can I possibly think I can achieve it???  And, it seems that what works for one person, or what seems "right" to one person, doesn't necessarily work for everyone in the group -- this group, or OA. 

Thanks, again, for letting me get this all out on the table.  It is really therapeutic for me. 

yes Jill I most certainly get it, it is a fact, food we need to live, unlike alcohol, spending money, gambling or other things. . .  the balance is what we seek, as in eating to live, opposed to living to eat, thinking of food as a necessity to fuel our bodies and without being rigid, learning to make good choices and not too much of them, which for me is why I am logging food, it keeps me clear on how many carbs, fats, protein and calories I consume and when there is too much lean in any area, I need to look at it, not to mention ask myself why I am reaching for something.  Friday's in my office is bagel/muffin day, so I made sure I budgeted myself for that, by doing extra time at the gym, because I don't choose to be rigid, when I took this route and Arlene and I have discussed it, we did not come to this with the intention of never having certain things again, but what I've had to learn is a trigger food is not a good food to allow myself, most especially not in my home, that space I can control what I bring into and so I build in for the days and things I want, but that is where exercise must be a component for me, because I had built in and stopped exercising for a time and that's where my regain came in.  If I want something that will add calories, I must do appropriate action to offset those calories, or I must make a different choice.  I often remember what Dr. P told me at my 2nd year visit, what am I going to do as a lifestyle change in order to maintain my health, in a way that is sustainable?   Sustainability is key, and my life may be longer as a result of making the decision to have this surgery, so how can I live in this world, enjoying life and sustaining my health?  It's tough, a real challenge, which is why I am doing the combating regain post 2x a week, we are not alone on this journey called life and people who don't have these issues, don't get it and some may think, regain, I'll never, well God Bless, hope that is true, but if not, you know you are not alone and that is therapeutic for me. . .

I like to take inventory.

Vitamins - all good. I have upped my calcium on the advice of the "vitamin guru" on the RNY forum.

Fluid intake - no problem there. I'm in FL and it's hot!

Food choices - one day at a time, I think I am doing well. Sometimes I think I must be doing it wrong...start blaming myself without reason....then take mental inventory and realize that my choices have been okay.

Sugar - nope.

Caffeine - none.

Refined carbs - 2 Ritz crackers last night. I had gone out without a snack in hand and bought a Lunchable - ate the turkey and cheese, then 2 of the crackers.  But that was it.

Exercise - taking a different tack this week, with Jillian Michaels DVD which is a short workout but TOUGH! I am taking today as my rest day since I am so sore I can hardly sit on the toilet! (Squats! Lunges! With weights!) I am also walking each day and when I am at the pool I do a lot of leg lifts, kicks, and other water moves.

Tracking - I just don't. It's like balancing the checkbook to me. But I believe I am okay because my eating is very consistent and I dropped 3 lbs. this week.