update on my dad

I wanted to thank all that are praying and sending love to my dad and our family.  They are very much appreciated.

Gene and I went to the hospital last evening with my oldest daughter.  Dad is looking much better than he sounded for the last month and looked on Friday evening.  It is amazing what the proper care will do.

I found out last evening from the nursing staff that dad had stopped taking his Lasix.  Dad has A-fib and CHF.  Lasix is a very serious part of the continuity of care for that.  Apparently in the last month or so dad has started having bladder problems as well.  So my dad and my brother in their infinite wisdom decided that the lasix was making him soil himself so they decided without consulting a "real" doctor that is was okay to stop taking the lasix.  Keep in my my brother thinks he's a medical professional - he's been a fireman since his teens is now in his 40's has never worked on the ambulance is not an EMT and is not medically trained except for CPR. 

I was also told last night that they are starting dad with physical therapy.  My dad is currently and has been since he can no longer get around and drive as he had stopped doing anything but sitting in the recliner doing nothing.  His nurse was telling me that he has absolutely no muscle which might or might not be contributing to the inability to hold his bladder, they did a kidney scan and took urine samples to test for anything that might be going on in there.  So while in the hospital they are starting PT to build up his muscles and said upon discharge he will more than likely have to go to a skilled nursing facility for more rehad to get his muscle tone back for him.  I know my dad he is aware he is never going to be as independent as he wants, he's not going to be able to jump on the bus and come to South Philly to wonder the street till all hours of the night as he once did.  So he's taking a long term temper tantrum because he's not happy.  And has my brother to wait on him hand and foot which allows him to continue this long term temper tantrum.  He hates when I'm around because I make him walk and do things for himself, he and my brother have this weird symbiotic relationship that is very unhealthy.  It's not worth me stressing myself to fight the two of them.  This works for them, neither of them want me involved, my brother gets very angry when I try, and it leads to a huge argurment which I find totally pointless. 

This CHF is going to be an ongoing thing with dad as he is getting older.  He will fill with fluids and need more frequent hospitalizations even when he follows his medication to the T.  This will become more and more frequent as his body is unable to flu****self out until his body can no longer fight the CHF.  Dad is 91 yrs old and up until 4 yrs ago was still running around as he enjoys so this is very trough for him to come to terms with and accept. 

Again thank you all for your love, support, and prayers.  Please keep dad in your prayers as he is rehabilitated.

Ida

 

Ida,

Glad that your Dad is looking better! It sucks when parents get older and can't take care of themselves! Both of my parents are in a nursing home with alzheimers and parkinsons, so I feel your pain!! Sorry that your brother is working against you instead of with you, it only adds to the stress!

You have my positive thoughts and prayers!!

Love, Beth

Thank you Beth.

 Will continue to pray for him and the family.  He's also on the prayer list at Church.

Thank you Sandy

Sibllings are very difficult to deal with when it comes to parental care.  I have 3 older brothers and had to get to a point of having a mediator help decide the proper steps for caring for my parents long term.

My father is the enabler where my mom is concerned - and he does everything for her - she too sits on a recliner ALL the time and once was on the couch for 22 days without getting off of it and my father was "covering' or her saying all was fine - she wound up septic from wounds related to water retention that wouldn't heal due to diabletes and wound up septic and in the hospital and then rehab for 4 months!!!  ugh.. sometimes those that love deeply don't see the damage they do by doing what they think i protecting the one they love.  I too am the 'hard ass" when it comes to my mother and I push her, but my father doesn't and he is the one there all of the time.

I certainly hope that your brother realizes that his approach makes things worse and listens to you and that your dad finds some internal drive to start to do for himself.

If you ever need someone to talk to about this situation, please feel free to call me 908-812-3139 - I can 100% identify with your situation.

Do continue to push because it IS, yes it IS, the right thing to do for your Dad.

xoxo,

Maura

Maura;
Thank you.  I told Gene last night I think I need something to knock me out for a few day :-) 
Thank you for the # it is programed into my phone.
215/677-7909 is my #
Ida

Hi Ida,
I am sorry to hear that your dad and brother are resistant to following doctor's orders.  That's a shame.  But I am glad your father is improving with proper medical care.  Hopefully, when he starts the physical therapy, he will start to feel better as well.

Continued prayers.

Trish

Thank you Trish.  It is exhausting when I have to deal with both of them.

Ida,
Will continue to keep your,your father and family in my prayers, also praying that your father is able to accept where he is now and to be able to be at peace with it and move forward to have the best life he can.
Hugs to you and your family, Ena