Depression?

This one falls into the category of "I just never thought I would ask this."

But I think I am fighting depression. Or something. I am sleeping too much, and know that I use sleep to escape - but I am not escaping anything in particular.

I have a horrible time getting a project going or finishing it...whether at work or something I want to do. This is really impacting my job - which goes beyond whether I like the job or not, it's just not like me.

I spend way too much time online or watching tv - more escapism, passive stuff.

I don't enjoy a lot of things I used to love to do, like inhaling a great novel or doing my flowers this spring.

Sex is fine when it happens, but if it were up to me, I could take it or leave it most days. Mike isn't liking this a whole lot.

So....for those who have experienced it - how do you know when it is really depression vs just not trying hard enough in life or being engaged in life enough? I think I might call my doc today, but even that makes me feel like such a total failure.

What do you think guys?

I think that if after an honest evaluation, you can't pinpoint some exterior catalyst for your change in behavior (which it sounds like you may have done), then you need to call the docotor and get some help.

I had a tremendous nervous breakdown and fell into a massive depression around 2 years after my surgery.

I called my doctor and insisted she put me on something because I know something wasn't right in my head.

I took Paxil for 4 months or so, and found myself back in the game 100%, and got with my doctor and designed a program to wean myself off the pills.

I have freinds and family members who take pills everyday to stay equalized. It's very common, perhaps even more so in the post WLS community.

Added: I also went to a therapist to seek counselling for food mourning, but that turned out to be a complete and total waste of my time and money. But I mention it just for the sake of completeness,

Norm, this is very helpful information. I am especially interested in seeing that you did not have to stay on medication forever. I have kept promising myself every day that I will snap into gear....without much success.

There is not really an outside factor that enters in here, which is part of the problem. I "should be" doing great. No issues to cause me to be upset or uncomfortable in my own life....but I do feel overwhelmed a lot with a normal workload, normal things around the house, etc.

I'll talk about this more below in the thread, but I *do* manage to do things that support other people - such as family members or go to celebrations with friends, or whatever. This is an inside thing to me and I see the impact mostly behind closed doors.

Lynn;
Once you being taking medication it does not mean you have to stay on it forever.  I was on Paxil for about 4-6 months after an incident at my previous job.  A man exposed himself to me, senior management harassed me until I found another job and moved on.  In the meantime I was divorcing my ex-husband after an extremely physically abusive 20 yr relationship. 

I was perscribed paxil, didn't know I was depressed, also found out I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I found my present job, in January, they had a hiring freeze for 3 months.  I was stuck at the old job and still looking for a new job.  When the hiring freeze was lifted I was notified I had the job, within 4 months of starting my present job.  My PCP was weaning me off the Paxil, my therapist agreed I no longer needed it and I have been Paxil free for 8 yrs now.

sending prayers and hugs to you...

Ida

Lynn,

I think I can relate to your post, except I don't sleep alot, but I have found that where I used to inhale books, I no longer can seem to concentrate on one and have not been really able to read much in the last year, even longer

I have thought about depression and also figured it might have had something to do with the long winter and how it had many of us housebound, other than doing what absolutely had to get done. 

I also thought it might have something to do with my regain and feelings of "failing" but you might be right, depression could be it and I don't like antidepressants, so, for me, right now I am fighting my way out of it by doing things that could help me get out of it, going back to the gym is one of the things I slacked in that made me feel good, so this morning I got up at 4:45 a.m. and went to the gym before work, I am also re-evaluating many of the things that I do to occupy my time and will be making changes in the coming months.  Another thing I took charge of this past week was my work situation, whereby I was working several days a week from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., which wore me out and did not give me enough time to do what I need to take care of me, told them that it is not a necessity and that while I am willing to work after hours when needed, I'd rather be on my regular work schedule, they conceded and now I got back some time, though it will impact me a little financially, somehow I will manage. 

Call the doctor and perhaps he can suggest something that will get you motivated to doing, sometimes I also wonder if it is age related, because I have other friends, people who are "normal" and in the 50s and seem to be slowing down some. . .  

Wishing you find what you need and if it is depression, I'm sure you find your way.

Laureen 

Laureen, thanks so much for your words. RIght now the "something for me" that I need to do is to go to the doctor, which I am doing this afternoon. I do work out, which ought to be helping - and maybe it is, in fact, keeping me from being a total mess. But my eating has also fallen into a "passive" mode with too much processed food, addictive food (SFIC anyone?), and generally sloppy eating. I haven't really wondered if this is age related or not but I guess it could be. But even then, my track record in life has been one of pretty high energy and always keeping a lot going on....so this is an uncomfortable change. Hormonal? Well maybe, but I got through menopause without a hitch or a single hot flash pretty early in the game, so there probably isn't a lot of change going on there unless it is tied to weight loss.

Reading is just an example but an important one in my life. For most of my adult life, I have read a book a week. Several years ago I went back to graduate school and resented it horribly because it took away my time for pleasure reading and writing for fun. So now, when I see myself as unable to engage in reading a terrific book (one of the joys of my life) - it is very significant.

Lynn,

I suffer from both depression and anxiety! I take Lexapro and if I don't take it I feel a big difference!! My depression has been better, but the anxiety is STILL hanging on!! I also had a severe case of post partum depression after having Dee. It was REALLY bad! So bad in fact that I really don't remember the first six months of her life because I was in such a fog!! The thoughts that went through my head during that time were CRAZY!

If you are finding that you are sleeping more and not enjoying the things in life that you used to, then you should definitely talk to your doctor! It sounds like you are not yourself and that is NO fun!! Asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of! It is actually a good first step!

If you want to talk you can PM me or FB me anytime!!

((HUGS))
Beth
BTW, I am using the mixer all the time and my recipes just keep on getting better and better!

Thank you so much Beth. I get very nervous about the possibility of taking medications. I'm not opposed to it really....it's just a foreign thing to me. I'll let you know what I find out today and will certainly reach out....

And I am SO happy about the mixer!

Lynn,

  First off please do not think you are a failure. Depression is a real disease and many suffer from it. You are reading a long time battling fighter of it now. I just went to a new doctor to rethink my whole journey in my depression battle. Thank you Nicole! 

 Please talk to your doctor there is no shame in depression the shame of it is suffering and not getting help. You took the first step in reaching out to us here on the boards.

You may need a short term dose of meds like Norm had mentioned or maybe a longer term round of meds.

My new doctor also suggested meditation along with the meds. I will see how that goes.

I am here if you need to talk about it.

**hugs**

Beth, the failure thing is very typical for me in that I am very hard on myself. More than on other people. Getting to the point of posting today is a major big deal. I appreciate your insights and honesty with all of this.

And to all who have responded....THIS is exactly why this board is such great support. I hope that the new people who have joined us in the last couple of weeks can see what happens here.