Messed up Monday

Good Morning Nicole,
I am so sorry you had a bad weekend, and are struggling right now.  Feelings can get to me like that, and I just isolate and hide when they do.  I think you helped me though by sharing how you don't like to have the identity of a WLS patient.  That may be why I avoid support group meetings.  I don't mind being online, but I avoid the support group meetings because of the identification of being a WLS patient.  I am already an alcoholic, and it took me decades to accept that reality and go to regular meetings for my recovery.  Gives me a lot to think about and work on now.  Thank you.

I hope your week gets better. 

My weekend was decent.  But, I have to work on getting a new AA sponsor.  I spent all week last week calling mine, and she never returned my calls till Friday night.  Her cell phone automatically went to voicemail, and I was not sure if she was getting my messages, because sometimes she loses her phone, or drops it in water, or the battery dies, or she forgets to pay her bill, so I even left her a message at work, and she did not call me bac****il I was at my prayer meeting on Friday night.  She admitted she was not calling anyone during the week.  Monday to Friday for a sponsor is a long time to return a call, in my opinion. 

Then, I went to an AA meeting last night, where a young mom had a three year old who was disruptive throughout the meeting, and the Mom had not brought toys for the kid, or made arrangements for him to occupy him during the meeting.  He just walked around the room, talking loudly, while people were sharing.  I left early, because I got tired of it.  I understand she needed a meeting, but one of her friends could have taken him to another room to play, and not disrupt the whole meeting.

Anywho, today, I have to head to the lab for bloodwork and then the hematologist for the results.  I was off my Coumadin for almost a week for a cortisone shot, and they need to check my levels.

Then, this afternoon, I have an interview for a part time per diem social work position at the hospital I worked at for three years.  I was an allied therapist, doing groups and recreational therapy.  This time, I would actually be doing social work.  I am nervous, but confident.

Hope your week goes well.

Hugs,
Trish

Trish dont get me wrong I am not in denial about being a post op. I am very open about it with everyone they all know my story. I am not in anyway ashamed of it either it just seems now days whenever i attend something like that I feel weird. I feel like that is not ME anymore I guess. Anyway thanks for the support and hope you feel better

I totally get it...makes sense to me.  Everyone knows about my surgery, and I make no bones about following my food plan.  For me, it's the identification as a post-op that I struggle with at times.  Thanks for your honesty. 

Hugs,
Trish

NIcole, sounds like you have a lot of stuff banging around in your head.  Are you journaling as part of your therapy?  I hope you are and I hope you take the time to do it and review it with your therapist.  she will be able to break these things down with you and two will be able to come up with a plan.
We all wear different hats in life, thats for sure, but we are not defined by which hat we happen to have on at the time.  If someone wants to know who we really are they have to look in our closet and see all of the hats we have and wear, in order to get a complete picture of who we are.  If I look in my closet I will see all types of hats.  One for dad, son, brother, spouse, catholic, harley rider, WLS patient, volleyball player, etc!  There are some hats that we never really take off, like the WLS patient hat.  In some way, shape or form it is always on.  It has to be, i guess.  But we can have that hat on and also wear other hats as well, cant we?  The WLS hat may always be on but it isnt the only one we wear. 
The only thing that will fix your fight with Jason is to talk it out together.  No point in putting it off and wasting time. 

Today I work till 330 and then im heading home to get my motorcycle and take it in to get the fender fixed.  Then back home to work out, have dinner, and take Jett to his baseball game.  Probably wont stop till around 10:00.  I guess it is kind of a manic monday for Swede.


Peace, Swede

Swede I do have alot banging around in my head.  I think with all of the emotional in your face stuff I am doing in therapy I just dont have it in me to focus on the WLS stuff anymore. I do what I need to do, I take my vitamins, I eat what I am supposed to 90% of the time. So what I have had some weight gain, I can deal with that through excercise and I know when the emotional garbage is removed the weight will come off too. THAT I AM CONVINCED OF. The biggest tool we have other than the surgery is our mind, our emotional health and well being.
Thanks for the advice and concern. Jason and I are doing much better.

((((Nicole))))

I feel for you, I am the same way when I am fighting with either my husband or my son.  Nothing will get better until you ha**** out with him.  Don't be as stubborn as him, just sit down together and start talking.  I find it easier to realize I am in charge of how I react to the world, no one can make me feel anything I don't want to feel.  So if you don't start the blame game, it will be easier.  Take responsibility for your own feelings and tell him what you expect and how what you got is different from that. 

I can imagine how hard it is going to be to get through your work day.  Holding you in my thoughts.

Funny, I had a bad reaction to one of the emails that woman Kay sent out, even emailed her back with my thoughts.  I don't usually get that way, but she pissed me off too.

Today I am going shopping with my cousin, up to the Lord & Taylor outlet in Wilkes Barre.  LOVE that place!

Peace,

Deb 

Thanks Deb your words are very true. We have to let the ones we love save face and be open to apologies even if we do it first.

Hugs Nichole - I guess we will always be those 'post-op WLS' people but it doesn't have to identify us and who we are, but I wonder now if that's why people who were once so active on these boards have drifted away - I guess after a while it just becomes a normal part of our lives and that takes over and there isn't the time or inclination to come out here? I miss a lot of the original members who were on here when I joined - Sister Jan, Lisa, Mary - just to name a few. Anyway, I hope you're feeling better soon.

I'm at work - I'm dealing with my own set of 'issues' that don't have anything to do with WLS - I have no motivation for work anymore - honestly dread getting up and coming in to work. It's boring - it's a long day - and I need to do something new and different. Unfortunately the paycheck is damn good and that's what keeps me coming back every day.

Also getting nervous for my brother - he hasn't heard anything on the biopsy they took and sees the specialist tomorrow, so keeping my fingers, toes, legs, etc. crossed that everything is okay.

And that's about it for me today...take care. Kathy

Jason always used to say that succesful post ops dissappear. They have it figured out, and they move on with their lives. I dont kow that I agree with this because I believe we are all successful and we are still here.  I like you miss many of those who used to be active on the board. The main reson I still come here is for the support in general. You all are my family, We do talk about surgery stuff but for the most part I think we just support each other in life.

Thanks for your support. and I will keep you and your brother in my thoughts,

Hey Nicole - sending you positive thoughts and a hug hug.  Larry and I miss you guys like crazy!  I have to tell you - I almost cancelled my plans yesterday afternoon when I thought I was going to see you.  I am so sorry you are going through this right now.  I have talked to you enough when Larry and I are going through crap, so you know that calming down, take stock of your feelings and deciding how to approach it is in your best interest.  You love him, and THAT is the bottom line.  You will talk and things will improve!

I had a great weekend.  Lots of fun with friends.  I am just sad that I didn't get to spend yesterday afternoon with some fun peeps as I was with my synagogue people, celebrating the end of the school year.  I was a bit sad for a FEW moments as we were all saying good bye knowing that I wont be back teaching at that capacity next year, but that moment passed and I was VERY happy knowing that my Sundays will be mine again.  Haven't had that in over 11 years.

Today I am at school, thinking about heading to the pool this afternoon.  Larry will be working for the next 7 nights straight, so I am the only parent at home for a while....sigh.....uch!  Tonight will be home and quiet.  I hope! :)

Happy Monday y'all!