Messed up Monday
This weekend was something else. Saturday we went down to PM to go to a WLS workshop type thing. I walked in with Jason sat down in the circle, I saw all of these people who made me uncomfortable. Then I saw the books, the kit, the materials that this woman had put together. I had a split second of jealousy about her success in the WLS arena as a professional. Then one woman leaned over and asked if I was a follower of Kay? I said rather rudely back to her.
" I dont know who the hell Kay is, I am here because my friend told me about it" something in my head cracked. I had a panic attack I began to cry. Jason looked at me and said " you look freaked out" and I was. So i bolted out of there. I felt so guilty about the money we spent, i felt bad for bailing on my friends who I could really use right now. We decided to take a turn and do the opposite of what I was feeling. We went shopping to a movie etc ended up being a good day.
What I felt was that In many ways I am tired of being a post op WLS patient. There are few things about me on a daily basis that even remind me that I have this title. I think that I am ready to move on and start focusing on other parts of my life. God knows I have enough crap to focus on. It is hard though because most of my good friends are all here and are all post ops. I guess we will see how that all shakes out.
Sunday was awful. We got into an argument first thing in the morning. He said something that upset me so much that I literally got in bed and did not get out for the rest of the day. I slept read did not eat anything. So ridiculous on my part to react that way. I have never done that before. We still have not talked and I dont know how to build a bridge and get over it and you all have met Jason he is one stubborn dude he wont. I am sorry to vent and dump this but you all are the only people I have to be honest with.
I am at work a full day schedule plus interviews. I want to cry. I want to go home. I have no idea how I am going to do this. Back in the day I would have just called off. I dont do that anymore, but I still have not learned the skills to cope with this stuff if I dont call off, MAN THERAPY SUCKS! breaks you wide open.
Thanks for listening. Hope you all are ok today,
" I dont know who the hell Kay is, I am here because my friend told me about it" something in my head cracked. I had a panic attack I began to cry. Jason looked at me and said " you look freaked out" and I was. So i bolted out of there. I felt so guilty about the money we spent, i felt bad for bailing on my friends who I could really use right now. We decided to take a turn and do the opposite of what I was feeling. We went shopping to a movie etc ended up being a good day.
What I felt was that In many ways I am tired of being a post op WLS patient. There are few things about me on a daily basis that even remind me that I have this title. I think that I am ready to move on and start focusing on other parts of my life. God knows I have enough crap to focus on. It is hard though because most of my good friends are all here and are all post ops. I guess we will see how that all shakes out.
Sunday was awful. We got into an argument first thing in the morning. He said something that upset me so much that I literally got in bed and did not get out for the rest of the day. I slept read did not eat anything. So ridiculous on my part to react that way. I have never done that before. We still have not talked and I dont know how to build a bridge and get over it and you all have met Jason he is one stubborn dude he wont. I am sorry to vent and dump this but you all are the only people I have to be honest with.
I am at work a full day schedule plus interviews. I want to cry. I want to go home. I have no idea how I am going to do this. Back in the day I would have just called off. I dont do that anymore, but I still have not learned the skills to cope with this stuff if I dont call off, MAN THERAPY SUCKS! breaks you wide open.
Thanks for listening. Hope you all are ok today,
(((Hugs))) it's not much. Sorry to hear you had such a crappola weekend. Wish there was something I could do to make your week a better one.
You can't measure your achievements with someone else's yardstick!
Revision from lapband to RNY 12/26/17 with Dr. Caitlin Halbert
HW 260 SW 248 CW 154 GW 145
Gallbladder removed 9/18
Beth
Oh Nic, sorry you had such a bad weekend. I hope it gets better. As far as living your "other life", you are absolutely entitled to that. Not everything has to be about our WLS. I know that it is a huge part of our lives, but it is not everything. We all have other sides to us and are here for each other for every part.
As for me, I had a busy weekend. Saturday was spent schlepping Siehara around town and Sunday was spent with great friends.
Today I am back to work. One of my girlfriends wants to take me out to lunch, so I will take an hour instead of a 1/2 hour and spend time with her. Once Siehara gets home from school, we are going to go over the chore contract. We did not get a chance to look at it this weekend since we were so busy.
After work, Siehara has physical therapy and then we will head to the gym. They are launching the next release of Body Combat so that will be new and fun. They are also going to have extra trainers there doing BMI and body fat% checks. I am going to go in early to have them do the body fat test on me. They use the electronic handheld thing, so it will be a bit more accurate than the pinch test that some places use. I need to see how I am doing with my body fat. I think that will give me a little bit better perspective of how much of my "extra" weight is really fat and needs to come off.
From the gym, home to do MY chores and to bed. I will do some more reflecting on my day yesterday and how I need to adjust my thinking to make things here at home work out for the better.
Hope everyone has a good day.
As for me, I had a busy weekend. Saturday was spent schlepping Siehara around town and Sunday was spent with great friends.
Today I am back to work. One of my girlfriends wants to take me out to lunch, so I will take an hour instead of a 1/2 hour and spend time with her. Once Siehara gets home from school, we are going to go over the chore contract. We did not get a chance to look at it this weekend since we were so busy.
After work, Siehara has physical therapy and then we will head to the gym. They are launching the next release of Body Combat so that will be new and fun. They are also going to have extra trainers there doing BMI and body fat% checks. I am going to go in early to have them do the body fat test on me. They use the electronic handheld thing, so it will be a bit more accurate than the pinch test that some places use. I need to see how I am doing with my body fat. I think that will give me a little bit better perspective of how much of my "extra" weight is really fat and needs to come off.
From the gym, home to do MY chores and to bed. I will do some more reflecting on my day yesterday and how I need to adjust my thinking to make things here at home work out for the better.
Hope everyone has a good day.
My tracker
hers 
I'm almost there. 
Good Morning Pa,
Nicole hope things get better for you today, and that you and Jason are able to resolve your issue easily. Lisa hope the contract goes over well.
My weekend started out busy, Saturday still cutting up the larger of the trees in the yard, it has taken us 2 days to get this far. Sunday was church, out for lunch, went to Dollywood for a while, but it was too hot,(94) and it was getting to me so I just left. Stopped a Walmart, had dinner, hung out then bed. Today we will start early, and I have already said as soon as it gets hot we are done for the day, I just can't take the heat. At this rate it will take all of the 2 weeks I will be here to clear the fallen trees, and take down the one that is leaning. ( I am not looking forward to the one that's still standing, but it is leaning so bad, and pines do not have deep roots, if another storm comes through it will come down and possible hit something, so taking it down is a must). Heading to the store before we start as the bugs were terrible on Sat., want to get some spray to beat them back some. After the tree adventure, I am going to the Tanger outlet to see if I can find any buys. I thought I had shorts and Capri's from last year, but they are all to big, so shopping we will go. Maybe dinner out,not sure but we shall see. The good news is I got a letter from the state of Tn. courts that the guy who broke into the house and took some stuff, pled guilty and was sentenced, which means I did not have to go to court again which is a good thing. Hope you all have as good a day as possible, and be good to yourself.
Hugs, Ena
Nicole hope things get better for you today, and that you and Jason are able to resolve your issue easily. Lisa hope the contract goes over well.
My weekend started out busy, Saturday still cutting up the larger of the trees in the yard, it has taken us 2 days to get this far. Sunday was church, out for lunch, went to Dollywood for a while, but it was too hot,(94) and it was getting to me so I just left. Stopped a Walmart, had dinner, hung out then bed. Today we will start early, and I have already said as soon as it gets hot we are done for the day, I just can't take the heat. At this rate it will take all of the 2 weeks I will be here to clear the fallen trees, and take down the one that is leaning. ( I am not looking forward to the one that's still standing, but it is leaning so bad, and pines do not have deep roots, if another storm comes through it will come down and possible hit something, so taking it down is a must). Heading to the store before we start as the bugs were terrible on Sat., want to get some spray to beat them back some. After the tree adventure, I am going to the Tanger outlet to see if I can find any buys. I thought I had shorts and Capri's from last year, but they are all to big, so shopping we will go. Maybe dinner out,not sure but we shall see. The good news is I got a letter from the state of Tn. courts that the guy who broke into the house and took some stuff, pled guilty and was sentenced, which means I did not have to go to court again which is a good thing. Hope you all have as good a day as possible, and be good to yourself.
Hugs, Ena
"Journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."
Nicole giant *hugs* positive thoughts and strength coming your way today! I am going to send you an e-mail...
Good MOrning all! Crazy but wonderful weekend - Mia's first birthday party was saturday -weather held out - great day with my family! Today is actually her birthday and here I sit reflecting on where I was this time last year. It was about now (7am) that the Dr came in and said we'll have a baby by 8am! I was so excited to start pushing and meet my angel - of course he was wrong, she arrived at 11:21 but was well worth the wait! I'll post seperately with pics and all the good stuff!
Today I am workung until 3:30 - 4 ish then headed to my parent's to hang out with my MOm and the birthday girl!
Good MOrning all! Crazy but wonderful weekend - Mia's first birthday party was saturday -weather held out - great day with my family! Today is actually her birthday and here I sit reflecting on where I was this time last year. It was about now (7am) that the Dr came in and said we'll have a baby by 8am! I was so excited to start pushing and meet my angel - of course he was wrong, she arrived at 11:21 but was well worth the wait! I'll post seperately with pics and all the good stuff!
Today I am workung until 3:30 - 4 ish then headed to my parent's to hang out with my MOm and the birthday girl!
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