A very interesting food discussion

And I wonder why abstinence seems like a moving target! There are as many versios of abstinence as there are abstinent people!!!  Thank you all so much for sharing your wisdom and experience with this subject. 

While I do find this a tad frustrating, here is where I came out on the other side after much prayerful and serious consideration.

AA tells me, "If you want what we have, you'll do what we do." (okay, that's a little tough considering the variety of what they do, but there's more.)

I thoroughly, completely believe God brought me to this OA meeting at this time, and that I met this person and for some reason found the nerve to ask her to allow me to turn in my food to her. And since I believe that God's hand is firmly placed in my life, I am believing that He has led me to this advice.

I know she's right because of the intense, emotional, fearful, rebellious response my brain went into immediately. This tells me that I am so ingrained in my addiction to food that I feel like I am giving up a good friend. 

I was given the Dignity of Choice and I made a plan. But while working the steps, and following certain suggestions, I found myself faced with the idea that my choices were based on my addictive brain's desires. I simply cannot deny the truth of that. She didn't ask me to slit my wrists, but that's what it felt like -- break all ties with your lover, mother and best friend.

The pain means I am about to have a growth spurt. I feel like I did when I finally decided to give up alcohol. I wanted to not drink so very badly, but could not really imagine going through the pain of giving it up.   I thought I had mourned the loss of food before my surgery, and perhaps I did, but then picked it up again just because I could (oh, and because I was not diligent or practicing any type of program after surgery or in therapy, etc. etc.) 

And you know what else I got from today? It's just today. I don't have to say I'm giving up anything forever. Just for today, I will have a plan, and it will include fruits, veggies, whole grains, protein and fats. I am not going to think about what I "cannot" eat, but will focus on what I am privileged to eat by the grace of God.

Thanks for letting me share.

Wow Jill, awe inspiring post and you are a power of example by making your decision and I have absolutely no sound rebuttal to what you have said, because in reality it is sound and I will learn much if I just stay openminded. . .  however, what comes to mind with me is steps 6 and 7 . . .  "no not never" and letting go of that fear of where will I be if I don't have my best friend food for all the reasons you spoke of so eloquently. . .  thanks for giving me something to think about. . .