Today's Reflection - Something we can all benefit by. . .
When we do for other people what they should do for themselves, we both stay stuck.
Perhaps it's human nature to grow and change only when we have to. Unrelenting pain can serve as a motivator. Sometimes ultimatums are effective too. But making excuses for others or taking over their responsibilities, even when it's for their benefit, never inspires change. We're learning that the only change we can be certain of is one we make in ourselves.
One of the first changes we can make is to let go of others: their opinions, their behavior, and their responsibilities. Our need for them to fulfill our expectations is related to our insecurity, not theirs. Every time we preach or take on others' duties, we must recognize that we are preventing much-needed growth, ours and theirs.
Our intentions might always have been good. But the time has come to let others live their own lives. It's quite enough to take care of ourselves.
I will not do someone else's task today. Growth comes from each of us being responsible for ourselves.
Perhaps it's human nature to grow and change only when we have to. Unrelenting pain can serve as a motivator. Sometimes ultimatums are effective too. But making excuses for others or taking over their responsibilities, even when it's for their benefit, never inspires change. We're learning that the only change we can be certain of is one we make in ourselves.
One of the first changes we can make is to let go of others: their opinions, their behavior, and their responsibilities. Our need for them to fulfill our expectations is related to our insecurity, not theirs. Every time we preach or take on others' duties, we must recognize that we are preventing much-needed growth, ours and theirs.
Our intentions might always have been good. But the time has come to let others live their own lives. It's quite enough to take care of ourselves.
I will not do someone else's task today. Growth comes from each of us being responsible for ourselves.
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm the first one to admit that I'm an enabler when it comes to my family. Especially my adult daughter. My surgery date is in 2 weeks, and I realized yesterday, that this is the first thing that I am doing just for me, and not for someone else. Once I have the surgery, she will be on her own, because as of April 4th, I'm taking my life back, and I'm going to concentrate solely on ME!! Your words are so encouraging to me, and I'm going to print it out, and probably post it on my forehead, as well as most of the mirrors in my house.
So thank you again for one of the most important reminders in life.
So thank you again for one of the most important reminders in life.
Glad to know that you felt the words offered in this, as I know I am very guilty of thinking I am helping others by doing this or that. Very recently I had a situation in my life in which, looking back at it, I realize how much I enabled this person and very possibly stunted their growth on some levels, but as the reading states, I did this thinking I was being helpful. So while all help is not enabling, what I got from this particular reading is to be mindful when helping others, to be present in my decision making and to weigh it out as to whether my help is needed or just a crutch for someone, who will benefit more from having done or found their own way and thus learned their own lessons and finding their own strength. . .
My Mantra is that I do not determine my success by the number hanging in my closet, nor will I let the scale determine that success either. . . It is through trial and error I will continue to grow and succeed. . . Laureen
"Success is a journey, not a destination." Ben Sweetland
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