I have younger ones. My oldest is in 4th grade. He is in the gifted program as well and a lazy butt . BUt he knows if he brings a bad grade home its not gonna be pretty. His teacher last yr told him that his grade a C was ok its passing when he asked for extra work to get it up. He told her not if you live in my house it isnt. She actually wrote me a letter and said I was too hard on my kids...umm NO I expect what I know they can do and nothing less. 


How about instead of punishing her when she forgets or gets a bad grade you reward her when she does what is needed...Like a trip to the mall or movies or once she has a month worth of gym days in she can get her nails done or a pedi?  I found with mine no amount of punishment worked but rewarding them for good behavior worked miracles.

How about volunteer work for a certain amount of hours? 
Instead of taking something away? Give something back?
Let her see that her time will be spent wisely either in study, homework, or helping others but not on the phone tv computer etc

First of all im not a Teacher, Mother or even a woman but I want to add something here.  I couldnt agree more with Nicole.  While punshment in the form of taking things away does have its value, requiring her to do something has better long term outcomes.  If she is struggling with responsibility in school then give her tasks at home or in the community that will require responsibility.  Doing something is always better than not doing something.  All we learn form having things taken away is that we want those things back...but if we are being proactive and doing something the possibilities of what we can learn are limitless. For the parent, it is harder to do than simply taking something away but the payoff is worth it.

I also think it is a self esteem issue with gym class. 

If she forgets something at school...take her butt back to school to get it.  She didnt forget it she left it there on purpose.  If you call her bluff a few times she will learn that that tactic wont work anymore.

Swede

 First, let me apologize for putting MOMS instead of PARENTS..  I know there are a FEW men on here.. 

Thanks everyone for their thoughts on this.  I also happened to get an unrelated phone call from a woman from synagogue this morning who is a parenting coach and social worker who deals with kids with special needs.  Great timing or what?!   SO, since I was on the phone with her, I asked her opinion.  

She agrees with the positive reinforcement.  She told me to give her a goal to work toward instead of taking things away.  For example, if she brings home her work 13 out of 15 days (for example), that we can do something together that she wants to do.  She said not to expect perfection, but to aim high.  

I think what I will do is go with the 13/15 days of bringing work home AND remembering her gym clothes/shoes for 3/4 gym classes in the next 3 weeks, we will go get our nails done together.  She has been bugging me for a long time to take her for her nails and I have not given in.  So, I know this is something she will want to work toward. 

While I do agree with the reinforcement thing - and can I come with you to get my nails done to - you know how much I HATE HATE HATE when Swede is right - just saying! :)

(Ps - GREAT plan!)

I like this she has good ideas

It works on kids and dogs.
It's called "Nothing In Life Is Free"

Start with a clean slate. Just the basics that must be provided. Room, bed, basic non-designer clothing and food. Everything beyond that is earned and then rewarded. Stop performing at a satisfactory level the privilege is taken away.

What I call punishment is way more severe then taking away things a child really doesn't need or isn't essential isn' punishment. Actual punishment is reserved for after a child knows exactly what the rules are and what is expected they choose to willfully ignore or disrespect.

Taking away a Wii or cell isn't punishment, it's bringing your child back to reality.

In real life you perform at a high level and there are benefits, slack off and you lose privilege.

I like the idea of a Daily Report, which can be done in an Agenda Book, if the school provides it, or in a composition book.  She writes her homework, and has the teacher initial and/or comment if the homework was missing, or the gym uniform was not worn.  Then, you sign at night, and the teachers know you are in the loop.

Then, at the end of the week, if the week has been successful, you reinforce with something fun.  If something was missed, take away something till she has a successful week. 

Like Nicole, I lacked the study skills, so I was an underachiever in school.

Good Luck,
Hugs,
Trish