Four weeks to go
I just looked at the calendar, and I realized that in exactly 4 weeks, I will be getting sleeved. I know it's the best thing for me, BUT....
Yes, I've changed my mind about 177 times just in the past month alone. I know I'm doing the best thing for myself. I have so much pain in my back, that I have trouble just walking around the house. So getting this weight off, and getting this pressure off of my back, is a #1 priority.
But still, I'm so nervous, and I'm finding that I play the 'WHAT IF" game with myself. You know...what if I don't make it through the surgery? What if I develop a leak? What if there is some other horrible thing that happens? I guess really, the list goes on and on.
Cheryl P. gave me some really great suggestions about cleaning out my cabinets of all things that I can't eat after the surgery, and replacing them with low fat, no fat foods. That was helpful, because it psyched me up a bit. But I am still so nervous, and yes, frightened. My pre-surgery appt is next Monday, and I just hope that in a moment of weakness, I don't tell the doc to just forget the whole thing.
Has anyone else felt this way before surgery? I guess right now, I just need someone to tell me that it's going to be ok, and that I should put on my big girl panties, and just do it, and stop being a big baby.
Yes, I've changed my mind about 177 times just in the past month alone. I know I'm doing the best thing for myself. I have so much pain in my back, that I have trouble just walking around the house. So getting this weight off, and getting this pressure off of my back, is a #1 priority.
But still, I'm so nervous, and I'm finding that I play the 'WHAT IF" game with myself. You know...what if I don't make it through the surgery? What if I develop a leak? What if there is some other horrible thing that happens? I guess really, the list goes on and on.
Cheryl P. gave me some really great suggestions about cleaning out my cabinets of all things that I can't eat after the surgery, and replacing them with low fat, no fat foods. That was helpful, because it psyched me up a bit. But I am still so nervous, and yes, frightened. My pre-surgery appt is next Monday, and I just hope that in a moment of weakness, I don't tell the doc to just forget the whole thing.
Has anyone else felt this way before surgery? I guess right now, I just need someone to tell me that it's going to be ok, and that I should put on my big girl panties, and just do it, and stop being a big baby.
Everyone has fears, doubts and too many thoughts racing through their head when the time gets closer. If you didn't feel this way, you would not be normal. I'm wishing you an uneventful surgery, speedy recovery and lots of wow moments to share with all of us.
Some days your the dog and some days your the hydrant.
It's going to be ok. Put on your big girl panties and just do it.
Seriously, though... we have ALL been through exactly what you're articulating. One way to think about it is this... Yes, there are unknowns with any surgery. But you've done your research, you and your doctor consulted and selected a procedure that should fit your unique needs, and this is not going to be your surgeon's first surgery. You have had the risks discussed with you and you know the possible down-sides.
Now balance that against the "knowns" of not having the surgery. You're likely dealing with various comorbidities that come with obesity. You have pain and decreased mobility. With that comes significantly elevated risk of blood clots, embolism, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and many more things. These risks are not going to decrease unless you lose the weight, and will over time only increase.
So in the great balance scale of life, the question you will always come back to is whether you will be better off with the surgery and with addressing the comorbidities, or with the status quo. Only you can answer that for yourself.
Like many others here, I did answer that for myself. 100 pounds lighter, my life is so vastly improved. I have energy, I have no "limitations" on what I can choose to do (walk, run, zipline, play, dance, walk the mall, ride on an airplane, fit in theater seats... the list goes on). My cholesterol is "ideal" as is my blood pressure. I sleep at night. My hips, ankles, and back don't hurt. I hope that my new eating habits will help me dodge the genetic bullets from my dad's side of the family tree, like diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. And, yes, I look so much better and don't go through life feeling like my kids, hubby, or whoever might be ashamed of how I look.
Focus on the positive outcomes you plan to reach. Acknowledge that you're human and have every right to be scared. Share those feelings with your surgeon so he can address them and help you. But don't focus yourself on the negative emotions. Get yourself to a pre-surg support group (and maybe even to a post-surg group too, so you can get a feel for what life post-op is really like). And keep talking with us...
Hugs!
Karen
Seriously, though... we have ALL been through exactly what you're articulating. One way to think about it is this... Yes, there are unknowns with any surgery. But you've done your research, you and your doctor consulted and selected a procedure that should fit your unique needs, and this is not going to be your surgeon's first surgery. You have had the risks discussed with you and you know the possible down-sides.
Now balance that against the "knowns" of not having the surgery. You're likely dealing with various comorbidities that come with obesity. You have pain and decreased mobility. With that comes significantly elevated risk of blood clots, embolism, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, and many more things. These risks are not going to decrease unless you lose the weight, and will over time only increase.
So in the great balance scale of life, the question you will always come back to is whether you will be better off with the surgery and with addressing the comorbidities, or with the status quo. Only you can answer that for yourself.
Like many others here, I did answer that for myself. 100 pounds lighter, my life is so vastly improved. I have energy, I have no "limitations" on what I can choose to do (walk, run, zipline, play, dance, walk the mall, ride on an airplane, fit in theater seats... the list goes on). My cholesterol is "ideal" as is my blood pressure. I sleep at night. My hips, ankles, and back don't hurt. I hope that my new eating habits will help me dodge the genetic bullets from my dad's side of the family tree, like diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. And, yes, I look so much better and don't go through life feeling like my kids, hubby, or whoever might be ashamed of how I look.
Focus on the positive outcomes you plan to reach. Acknowledge that you're human and have every right to be scared. Share those feelings with your surgeon so he can address them and help you. But don't focus yourself on the negative emotions. Get yourself to a pre-surg support group (and maybe even to a post-surg group too, so you can get a feel for what life post-op is really like). And keep talking with us...
Hugs!
Karen
(deactivated member)
on 3/7/11 3:29 am - PA
on 3/7/11 3:29 am - PA
You will do great, enjoy the new life and good luck in your journey.
Thank you all so very, very much. And Karen, a special thanks to you for helping to get my feet back on the ground, and concentrating on why I made this decision to begin with. I WILL be healthier, and I also will be staving off those pesky genetic maladies.
I just have to keep reminding myself of them, on a daily basis.
Thanks again everyone. And it's so nice to know that I'm not alone in my feelings. And it's even nicer to know that every single person on this board, has been through it.
Thanks again, and I will keep you all posted.
Annette
I just have to keep reminding myself of them, on a daily basis.
Thanks again everyone. And it's so nice to know that I'm not alone in my feelings. And it's even nicer to know that every single person on this board, has been through it.
Thanks again, and I will keep you all posted.
Annette
Annette,
You are NOT alone!! We have been there, done that! Julia and I met in the lobby the day of my surgery and I am sure she will tell you I had the total look of fear on my face!! I was shaking and wondering if I was really making the right decision. I had a lot of road blocks to get to the surgery, both medical and insurance wise and there were many times I wanted to give up! Thank goodness my hubby smacked me back to reality and told me that he wanted me to be healthy and happy.
I am 21 months out, 130lbs down and MUCH happier with how I feel and look! Besides that, I have made so many great friends through this board and support group!!
Good luck to you and keep us updated on your progress!
You CAN do this!!!!
Beth
You are NOT alone!! We have been there, done that! Julia and I met in the lobby the day of my surgery and I am sure she will tell you I had the total look of fear on my face!! I was shaking and wondering if I was really making the right decision. I had a lot of road blocks to get to the surgery, both medical and insurance wise and there were many times I wanted to give up! Thank goodness my hubby smacked me back to reality and told me that he wanted me to be healthy and happy.
I am 21 months out, 130lbs down and MUCH happier with how I feel and look! Besides that, I have made so many great friends through this board and support group!!
Good luck to you and keep us updated on your progress!
You CAN do this!!!!
Beth
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Hey Annette! Yup, I felt that way too. Heck, I almost changed my mind the morning of my surgery! But I came online to that board that morning and realized that this was something I needed to do. Love Karen's descriptions of 'genetic bullets'! That's what I needed to avoid if possible. Am I happy I had surgery? Absolutely!! My family doc is thrilled with my progress (down about 105 lbs, normal blood pressure, cholesterol and triglycerides are way down). And I've met some amazing people on this journey! Do I have any regrets? Nope, not one!! I realized before surgery that I could still eat favorite foods post-op, they just had to be modified to be low fat and sugar free.
Only you can decide if this journey is for you. And as my family doc said to me, "it's a good start." You need to be committed to a new lifestyle---eating the right foods, exercising, taking vitamins if needed (I don't know if the sleeve is malabsorptive like gastric bypass is.) Keep coming to the boards and get to a meeting if you can.
Good luck!!!
Julia
Hey, we'd be worried about you if YOU weren't worried, nervous or concerned - it's surgery, no matter what, and there is always risk associated with any surgery. But the risk of carrying that much excess weight around is so much greater, and if you follow your doctor's instructions and do as you're told your risks will be minimal and you will come through surgery with flying colors and be ready to start a brand new life.
We're all here for you - sending good thoughts and many prayers your way.
Kathy
We're all here for you - sending good thoughts and many prayers your way.
Kathy
'One shoe can change your life'...Cinderella
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