OT-My insane life & Chocolate Candy!

Checking in and saying hello….since I’ve been MIA for quite a bit. First thing I can say is putting an addition and renovating the house – Gene and I must be out of our minds!!!!!!   Second thing I have to say is Chocolate Candy has become my best friend – not a good thing!!!!! I’m exhausted, extremely stressed and I have rediscovered Chocolate candy. I have not eaten candy for 8-9 years due to having diabetes prior to my surgery. In the craziness of the addition and renovations to the house – so much craziness going on at work (a huge project that our department was brought into in December and we are expected to get all the information in less than a month, we’ll be close but not sure how close – my life has been insane since I’m the lead on this project) – the MBA program I’m currently enrolled in – and last but not least I’m also taking a certified coding class. Not sure why I did it but I picked up a piece of chocolate and didn’t get sick, then picked up a piece of white chocolate and now I am hooked and working very hard to get this evil stuff out of my life once again. I am behind in all my homework – all my free time is spent breaking down the house. When not working on the house, I’m working (at work which is so crazy at the moment it’s not funny), in class, or on rare occasions I actually do get to sleep. So it is safe to say that Gene and I are both exhausted. The house is underway, however, is not emptied out yet. Our GC would have preferred it to be empty but like my mom used to say; people in hell want ice water. Our son-in-laws and one daughter have been coming over every Sunday for the last 3 weeks helping us; the other daughter does taxes so she is not available on weekends right now.   We are getting rid of a lot of stuff – how did Gene and I accumulate so much stuff in such a short time??? Good Will is receiving a lot of clothes we’d forgotten we had upstairs, the kids are taking things they can use and the rest is going into the dumpster. Currently we have a big hole in our backyard where the addition is going. The garage came down this weekend, simply amazing, one guy taking it down with a sledge hammer, so they can get the truck back to the hole tomorrow to drop off the cinderblock to start the basement walls. All the footers were poured on Friday and the inspector came out and approved that portion. We have had to change plans, there will be no Jack & Jill bathroom in the new addition in the basement – will cost too much for what the city requires so we will have to figure out where to put a full bathroom in the existing basement. Our GC will be drawing up some ideas for where to place that bathroom. We changed the plans for the garage and Gene’s upstairs offices, so that is the reason the garage came down this weekend. We were going to put the stairs on the right side but decided we want them on the left side so another major change to our plans and driving the GC crazy. Our GC is married to one of Gene’s oldest friends so he’s doing a good job of putting up with us. My one complaint is that he does not communicate enough. We were not expecting the garage to come down until Monday – Saturday morning a guy was banging on our door, answered it and he says I’m here to take down the garage – Gene said no that’s happening Monday the garage is not cleaned out yet. Well Gene and I had to change plans yesterday, he had to cancel all his clients and the two of us emptied the garage – took down the garage door opener to use for the shed once we put all the stuff back in the house, and took down the garage door. The guy that is taking the garage down is taking the garage door and all the wrought iron railing that was around the porch that was above the garage. I also found out on Friday I have to call the kitchen designer – blows my mind I get a kitchen designer. I have to start thinking about what fixtures, faucets, appliances, hardware, etc. that I want on all the new stuff. I have to pick out lights for the kitchen. Where on earth am I going to find the time to do that? Just this morning Gene asked me if I want to re-do the existing bathroom on the first floor, we are replacing the toilet and sink but were keeping the bathtub – like he said since we are re doing everything else why not update the bathtub, so that brings up the question do I also want to replace the floor and the tile around the bathtub.  The new master bath was designed without a bathtub, I want a claw foot tub in that bathroom – so the GC now needs to figure out if there will be room for one. The architect didn’t listen to me and designed the bathroom without a tub – I want one!!!! This is my crazy life at the moment. I question why on earth we at our age want to make our house bigger. At the same time the house is too small for entertaining. We are also thinking of the day when we will not be able to run up and down the stairs to do the wash and lift our legs to get into a bath tub. So our first floor will be set up for our senior years. The house is also going to be ready just in case Gene’s mom or my dad ever needs to come live with us and will be able to accommodate both of them if we needed to. So when I think in those terms it all makes perfect sense.  I want to be in denial, I want to pretend that this is not happening; with a big hole in the backyard it is too late to change my mind now.   I normally handle stress extremely well so this is completely new to me that it has actually gotten to me.  Sorry this is so long; I wanted to let you know I miss you all and have no time to myself. I miss participating on here as much as I want to and normally do and need to figure out how to get myself back on here because I need help to step away from the chocolate candy!!!!!! Ida

STEP AWAY FROM THE CHOCOLATE!!!!!!

And.....just a tip as you go through the renovation. Don't either of you pray for patience. If you do, accidentally, kneel down and TAKE IT BACK. It's one of those things that will get much worse before it gets better....but oh, when it's done!!!!!!! :-)

Thanks Lynn!

When it's done - I can't wait!!!!  If only I could close my eyes click my heels three times and everything would be back to normal :-)

Ida,
I hate to say this to you. BUT chocolate is your crack. You really need to acknowledge that this is a trigger for you and that all the hard work you have done will unravel if you let stress get to you. I say this with love I hope you are not offended.

BTW congratulations on the addition to your house. Take pics of before and after you'll be amazed at the transformation.

Thank you Shilpa!

Normally I have a lot of control.  I just have to regain that control.

Wow!!!  You are really under a world of stress, and I totally understand why the chocolate is part of it.  BUT, you need to breath, and start doing some self-care and take 10 minutes now and then to just do some deep breathing exercises to relax and destress your body.

Like Shilpa said, chocolate is your crack and it is as addictive.  So, try to destress with the breathing exercises, and also try to get in some walking, even if it is just 10 minutes at lunch time.  You will not get through this time healthy or sane if you don't.

Hugs,
Trish

Thank you Trish!

Stress is normally pretty easy for me - this is much more than I had anticipated adn throwing me totally off my game.

Hey Ida,

Ok, so you spoke out against the demon, now just try and think how hard your worked at changing your life and is that chocolate worth throwing all your hard work away. . .  suggestion, find a good substitute that you can enjoy guilt free and keep it handy, some fruit or something that will satisfy your craving.

As for the addition, I certainly know what that is all about, as I went through it 2 years ago and it was frustrating at times, but I kept my mind on the end result and I can say that I am truly loving it, though I wish I lived somewhere besides NJ, as the taxes are killing me and I am now waiting for the RE market to pick up, because at that point I may decide to sell. . . 

Well good luck, Laureen

Hi Laureen:

I've been trying to pack apples and bananas so that I get that sweet.  I've stopped baking for now as well.

And I'm staying out of the stores and sending Gene for now till I gain back my control of not allowing the candy to jump into my carts.

Ida

OMG Ida I do feel your pain I had the same discovery as you did.  I found a ugh! candy white choc with white choc filling not going to share this one with anyone and found that I can eat them when I get frazzeled and am so pissed off at myself that I find myself yelling come on Linda you know better than that ****!  You have worked so damn hard to come this far and to be able to ride Cassidy in comfort what the hell are you doing to yourself!  So my answer is to when I get freaked to drink something even if its coffee.  Lesser of two evils and to stay out of the damn store/aisle that has them.  I have to stop it!  Its my crack/demon that white choc!  I feel your pain as far as the house renovations we bought our house ten years ago and had to gut it and re-do it new drywalls, carpet and all that and I still to this day cringe.  Now we are trying to pick paint colors and look for comfortable living room furniture ours has seen better days.  It will all be worth it when its done.  Hang in there.