gotta love having a pre-teen

Yup.. you read it... she made a friend through a friend on FB and has been texting him.  I was browsing her phone last night and saw inappropriate conversations between the two of them. 
It was not to the point that the last one was, but there were obviously texts that were deleted so I don't know for sure how far it got. 

Looks like someone is going to have their phone restricted even more.  I think I'm going to contact AT&T and see about having it allow her to only contact me and maybe one or two other people.  I'm not sure if they can do that, but I'm going to ask.  II know they can make it so she can only contact ME (and it will cost me less).  I would like to allow her to be able to contact a few of MY friends in case of emergency, if possible.   

She will also have her friend list on FB cleansed and people blocked.  This guy is somewhere between 16-20 and lives in FL.  Who knows how she met him, but I want him gone. 

I'm debating on contacting him through either FB or text to see if he realizes that she is only 12.  help? 

One thing I AM sure of is that I am going to call KidsPeace today and get her back into therapy.  She is obviously struggling with something, probably acceptance type issues, and needs to be able to get it out in a healthier outlet.   The problem is she doesn't like to talk in therapy.  But, I'm still going to try.   Hopefully we can get the same therapist because she did seem to like her and talk to her a little bit. 

No words of wisdom from me on this topic but sending lots of support, hugs and prayers your way and Sieharra's (sp?) to work through this. You seem to be an awesome mom and hopefully this is just a phase, but best to nip it in the bud now before it gets out of hand.

Kathy

Thanks Kathy.. this is the 2nd time I've caught her sexting so I'm not sure what else I can do.  But, we talked a bit tonight about it and hopefully it will sink in.

oh boy :(

I would say that only being able to call you on her phone is the perfect solution. Or maybe can you make it so she can only make phone calls - no texting? I don't think that she would be brazen enough to actually talk to these people.

I also think that the therapy @ Kids Peace is a great idea. She is a good girl and you are an awesome Mom.

I would contact him via FB and call him on it! Check her profile and see if she lists her correct age, I know a lot of young girls who don't.

If you need anything I'm here!

Liz

I am definitely thinking that no texting is the way to go.  She hates calling people as it is, so that would be the perfect solution.

I just deleted her FB account and found a few online worlds she was playing in.  I deleted those as well.  I also deleted all of her emails so she cannot access the sites again without having to set up as new.  She will not get the chance to do that anytime soon since she will not be allowed on the computer any time soon, unless it's for school.  Looks like supervised computer time in my room will be her only option until she can handle the responsibility. 

As far as her age on FB, I had set it up and did make her a bit older so she could have the account.  But I think I made her 14.. nothing more than that.  I am going to contact him through MY account and let him know that I am aware of what has been going on and that it will end NOW.  


UGH... it's amazing my blood pressure is as good as it is and that I don't have an ulcer yet. 

Shut her down!  I like all of your ideas.  Safety is priority number one and it seems like you are finding that balance for her.  As a counselor of young people, I would encourage you to continue to offer her outlets like kids peace.  She may not be much of a speaker-uper yet but that will come with time and maturity, but she cant help but listen and possible glean some information from the discussions around her.  As always be consistent with the rules and expectations and keep communication lines open with her.  I cant stress how important consistency and structure are in the lives of our children.  They need it and now matter how much they ***** about it they appreciate it as well.
You are a great mother and you are doing a great job!  Keep it up.

Swede

I was hoping you would chime in, Swede.  I know that you work with kids and would have good insight.   I told her this morning that I love her and hope that she can talk to me about anything without feeling like she is going to get in trouble.  I also told her that lying and sneaking around is not acceptable and that she is too young to be talking the way she is and to people who are that much older than she.  I made sure she realized that the reason for this is not because I am trying to be mean, but because I love her and don't want to see anything happen to her.  

All good ideas here...I'll be curious to see what response, if any, you get when you contact the guy.

Lisa,

I feel your pain, although Dee is not a pre-teen. After last weekend, I was shocked into reality and realized that my first priority is keeping her safe!! We were thinking of buying a pre-paid phone for her, but she loses stuff constantly, so that is out! If she goes out with anyone else but me I will get specifics and ask the person to have their cell phone on and handy so if I call them they will answer!!!

It sounds like you are on top of things. Keep reassuring her that it is to keep her safe because you love her so much. I think that does help....

((HUGS))
Beth

I know you went through hell last week.  I keep telling her that I love her and that I want her to be safe.  I really want to know how old this kid is...