OT - How to confront a colleague

I did volunteer work with last chance teenagers (most from Reading Philly and NY) and can agree 99.9% come from such dysfunctional families they barely have a chance at a normal life.
One thing most have is a built in sincerity meter. If you are sincere and truly care they know it and when they disappoint you they feel it. You can also discipline them and they respond.

It's nice to hear you really care. Kudos to you.

Ah sweetie, that sounds like a horrible situation. I know I'm late to the discussion, but, maybe you could approach her with
"Please don't have me pulled into speak to the parents on this. I don't think you would like what I would contribute. To be honest with you, I do think that you went a little bit overboard in the situation. And while I don't agree with how you handled yourself, I also don't want to make things difficult for you by being put in the position to say exactly that to the administrators and parents."

Or something along those lines. Letting her know you weren't cool with it and you DO think she has a problem. But being willing to back out and not inadvertently going being "on their side".

Be on your own side. Let the parents be on your students side. And leave her hanging on the wind.

oh boy tough one here comes the passionate one A.K.A, the ***** as Dennis would say.  First of all lying is a no no but you did address it.  Second of all I am a straight out person I would seriously let my co-worker know I felt she was out of line for yelling at these kids.not in front of the kids  Anger issues you think?  Yeah duh!  The schools are so afraid of being sued as most of them should be however you said she has been known to lose her temper with colleagues and counselor so why hasn't it been addressed by now by the higher ups?  How do you handle her well hell I wouldn't worry about her feelings because she put you in this position indirectly.  But its a shame that alot of the students parents have the "not my child, my child wouldn't do that" its called denial.  I always at the beginning of the school year send a e-mail to all of Heather's teachers letting them know I want an open line of communication if there are any problems and trust me I will handle it and I do.  But yelling at kids unless they are your own depending on the situation is a no no one day she will yell at the wrong person and we all know how that ends. I would tell her right to her face straight up no bull**** and if she doesn't like it too bad!

Here's my two cents.  As an educator and authority figure you do not have the luxury of losing your emotions and displaying your anger towards those you are responsible for.  This teacher is clearly personalizing the kid's behaviors.  She is allowing the kid's behaviors to determine her response.  She has to approach her job more objectively.  If the kids are behaving badly and lying to her then it is on them, its not her fault so don't act like you have a personal stake in the issue. 

As to what to say to her, here is what Id say.  "You know (teacher) I noticed that you seemed pretty upset when you were talking to (students) the other day.  I sometimes feel myself becoming angry and personally offended by some of my students behaviors but I learned a long time ago that I have to keep myself from owning their behaviors and remember its their issue not mine.  I have to allow the responsibility to both own the behaviors and to change the behaviors has to remain with them.  we can only point out thee deficiencies and guide them in the right direction."

I work with counseling sex offenders and if I wasn't able to keep from personalizing there behaviors, id go nuts and I wouldn't be a very effective counselor!


]Good luck Steffi!!!!

Swede